What Is a Date and What Makes a Date Successful?

There seems to be a lot of confusion of what is a date. Who defines what is a date, just like who defines a relationship, a friendship etc.? I think a common unwritten rule that most people follow when defining a date is that when two people get to know each other in a private or public setting without inviting other people to join you. Sometimes I have created confusion by asking for help from men though. πŸ˜– That’s why being poor and single is tricky, you can’t afford a lawyer but need legal advice because some crazy ass LOSERS just won’t leave you the fuck alone. πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

So what is a date for you might not actually be a date for the other person UNLESS you both agree and communite in a way that makes it a date. Here’s my simple list of what I consider is a date. I would love to hear your comments and you’re welcome to agree or disagree with me. 😊✌️

  1. If a man/ woman asks you out just the two of you because he/ she SAYS he/ she is interested in getting to know you better because you are intelligent/ attractive/ funny/ rich/ ethical/ confident/ honest etc. whatever shit you’re into. πŸ˜€
  2. Don’t disguise your interest in dating someone as a job offer, asking for legal help, asking to work together in a project etc. It will get super confusing super quickly. This is where the most problems have arised in my dating life.
  3. Inviting someone to a big party is not a date. It’s being friendly to an interesting person. πŸ™‚ (it might lead to a date though. Safe way to know a bit more of a person before you ask her/ him on a date.)
  4. Communication is the KEY. Be honest about what you want. If you want to date someone, just have a fling, just get legal advice, just show off to your friends or have a baby to please the crazy ass government (and after the baby is born you ghost the person).πŸ˜‚ Don’t USE people. If someone wants just a fling, there are plenty of people who are also looking for just a fling. You don’t need to trick women/ men who are looking for a serious relationship with empty promises of a relationship when all you want is sex or help in some random shit. πŸ˜‚Everyone appreciates HONESTY. You would be surprised how many women are willing to have an open relationship if that’s your thing. Pick them wisely.
  5. When two people go on a date, the key difference is if you are attracted to each other or not. Initial attraction can also fade DURING the date if one of you says something insulting for example. So this is also important to keep in mind, that if you are interested in someone and ask her/ him out but then lose interest during the date, it’s your responsibility as an ADULT to inform the person why. If a man says something stupid and doesn’t realize it, raising the topic might save the friendship. People are NOT mind readers. A total dealbreaker for me is racism/ misogyny though. How the fuck do some men expect to date a brown woman and hate brown people AND women?🀣 🀷🏼
  6. Ghosting is the worst thing you can do. It’s for weak COWARDS. If you like someone, say it. If you don’t like someone, fucking say it! πŸ˜‚ Ghosting means you disappear without a word and stop answering texts/ phone calls. I never had a man do this to me but some female friends disappeared from my life without a word. It’s pathetic. It’s even worse with dating and I can tell you that that kind of little bitch behavior will create A LOT of resentment and thirst for revenge. So always be polite when ending relationships, because even the nicest women AND the most helpful friends have their limits! ☠️
  7. When I was in my 20s, I went on a date with a hot model guy. We didn’t even kiss after the movie even though we had fun and we found each other attractive. I was super busy with my studies and friends back then. I didn’t have time to call/ text him at all. Then I got a call from him like two weeks later or something and he asked if I’m still interested since we didn’t keep contact etc. We both agreed that this isn’t really working since I was busy with my studies and friends, he was busy with his modeling and work and neither of us was really looking to settle down in our 20s. Eventually he left the country (like most of my friends). πŸ˜‚ This is however, a perfect example of great communication and ending things in a friendly tone. ❀️
  8. If you are the traveling type like I am, settling down can be challenging. It’s important to live/ move to a country you actually want to settle down in. Otherwise it will make dating a living nightmare like in my case. I live in Finland where men want to settle here, but I don’t. πŸ˜‚ So this is the number one thing to find out when you go out on a date. Nothing is worse than keeping your partner a miserable, sad, and bitter hostage somewhere where she/ he totally doesn’t want to be. This can be especially tricky for expats. This might also lead to breakups. Possibly even alcohol problems, depression and worst case suicide! Is your job really worth killing your partner??
  9. I have given baked goods as gifts to men, my (hot) landlord, my friends etc. This is also confusing if you don’t explain the meaning. So if you want a discount in your rent, a favor, or a romantic date, it’s better to be clear about it. ☺️
  10. In some cases you should just openly ask “Do you want to go on a date with me”, or “Is this a date? πŸ˜€” so then the mood will be set right, the expectations will be some what on point (though never expect ANYTHING on a FIRST date). It will keep things interesting and possibly lead to another date.
  11. When you finally do go on a date, it’s important to be yourself. Don’t pretend to be fancy by eating a hamburger with a fork and knife. πŸ˜† It won’t give you extra brownie points but rather be amusing. πŸ˜ƒ Don’t try too hard dear women and men. The right people will love you for who you are. ❀️
  12. After the first date, also keep in mind that it doesn’t automatically mean you are exclusively dating or you “own” the other person now. πŸ˜‚I’ve had men claim I’m “untrustworthy” after I had ONE date with them and continued to hangout with my male friends and went on a date with someone else. πŸ˜…πŸ™„ C’mon people, you have to AGREE that you are exclusively dating first! You are allowed to see other people at the same time, just remember to be honest or tell the other person. Just don’t start gossiping like a whiny little bitch if some woman doesn’t read your fucking mind what you want after the FIRST date when you aren’t brave enough to say what you want out loud ok?! πŸ˜‚ ❀️

I hope you now have a better understanding of what is a date and what makes a date successful. πŸ™‚πŸ™ƒ Please send me a message if you would like to know more about my dating tips and purchase my dating guide.

A date is when someone asks you out just the TWO of you, because she/ he wants to get to know you better. Sometimes you get/ bring a gift or flowers. The color of the flowers is also important. It says about the personality of the giver/ receiver. Yellow roses are bright, happy and not too in your face for romance (on a first date it’s good to be less pushy before you know each other’s personalities). I got these pretty yellow roses from a nice man. πŸ’› Photo: Sonia Jain

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