The Age Old Question, Can Women and Men Just Be Friends?

This is an age old question that has people divided. Can heterosexual men and women be just friends? I have seen many interviews, read articles and discussed with both men and women about this topic. The answer seems to be clearly divided. Many men think they can’t and women think they can. πŸ˜ƒπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

What about work colleagues, your neighbor, landlord, lawyer, gardener. πŸ˜„ Are you supposed to avoid EVERYONE once you are in a committed relationship? I have been single almost my entire life and most of my friends have been men, simply because so many women find me annoying. 🀣 For some reason, the friendships haven’t developed into relationships, so my theory from my personal experience is that you can be a normal, healthy heterosexual woman and have a platonic friendship with men. Probably the most crucial question is, are you attracted to the person and if you are, would it be enough to cheat (if you have a partner) or start a relationship? If you are both attractive people, is there a “spark” between you two? Does the other person make you feel butterflies in your stomach or more like talking to your parents? (which is great for a friendship, because you feel safe and loved with your parents, but wouldn’t date them.) From my experience, even in the most hottest male Gods, there can be something in their personality that makes them undatable (e.g. football players are Gods, but their lifestyle and interests are totally different than mine, so they usually end up with hot models who like to settle at a young age) or absolutely repulsive to date. You can stay friends but not date. I had a French guy as a friend and he didn’t seem to understand why his relationships failed. He used to make vicious (and slightly racist πŸ™„πŸ˜²) remarks, such as “Michelle Obama is ugly” and therefore I considered him more like gossiping female friend than a real man ahaha. πŸ˜†

A crucial thing is also if the female friends and male friends believe in sisterhood (or girl code) and the bro code. Women who believe in sisterhood believe that you don’t go stealing no other bitches men, no matter what ok? πŸ˜‚πŸ™‹πŸ½β€β™€οΈThe bro code follows similar ethical code, “bros before hoes” and if the man thinks your friend’s girlfriend is hot, his belief in the ethical code prohibits him from acting on his desire and stealing his friend’s girlfriend. These type of people make the BEST and the most LOYAL friends, because you know you can trust them when you do find a committed partner. In my opinion, I have been totally underrated for my loyalty towards the sisterhood code from my female peers and it’s sad as fuck.😭 (unlike my blonde female EX- friend who flirted and tried to STEAL a man I was seeing when I went to get drinks! Eventually both me and her ended up alone and the man married a Thai woman. Fucking drama. 😫A perfect example how arrogant some women are, they think they are so hot they can steal other women’s men but failed in this case. πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌ)

Then there are those guys that you have known FOREVER and always hang out with in weird places, bump into in random places etc.. They can be super hot and sweet like my friend Jere in the pic below (who is the perfect example of a man who knows men and women can be just friends), but then you also just have totally separate lifestyles, schedules, travel interests, friends, opinions in which country to settle in and dating lives. πŸ˜•Jere has always had the most gorgeous female friends and girlfriends because he works in PR, so he is always surrounded by women. In this profession, you also learn how to control yourself and understand how to be professional. PR is full of drop dead gorgeous women, young models and social and happy people, so if you didn’t have self control and an understanding that work is work, friends are friends and dating is dating, it would be impossible to work in PR. Same goes for professional photographers. I have met a few and one is already married with kids. He is friends with gorgeous models, but also understands that he is in a committed relationship and work and friends are separate and their relationship has the most key ingredient for any relationship: TRUST. Even if ALL your friends are 80 year old grandmas and grandpas, without trust, your partner will find some crazy ass reason to isolate you from your friends. (So dump that psycho asap) For example, I once went on a date with a spoiled rich brat man and one time he found out (no idea how) I had been on the fucking phone TALKING with my male model friend. So then he trash talked me to everyone as an “untrustworthy hoe”. πŸ€£πŸ™„He also drove past my house many times after our date.. Word of advice, don’t get your dating advice from a paranoid psychopath who cheats on his wife. 🀣

Sometimes your lives and friend circles are so different that you never hang out in the same circles. For dating someone though, your friends need to like the person you’re seeing and they all need to enjoy spending time together. This is probably one of the most common pitfalls in my dating life, because so many people in Finland simply find me annoying AF and can’t stand being in the same room with me.πŸ˜‚πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ (totally my own fault though, due to my critical views about Finland and stuff. It’s deliberate however because I want to move out.) Men have a hard time defending my brutal opinions when most people disagree with me. ☹️So even when you have gorgeous male friends, the possibility of dating just never crosses your mind and it’s ok, because heterosexual men and women CAN be just friends. 😊❀️

Sonia and one of her oldest (and hottest) male friends Jere are a living proof that heterosexual men and women CAN be just friends. πŸ™‚ Photo: Sonia Jain

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