Nobody ever made themselves pretty by sabotaging others. 😃 Interestingly, the bullies with the ugliest souls seem to have a lot of success in dating. So do horrible personalities attract each other or just weak souls who settle for whatever they can get? From what I’ve seen, it’s the latter. Bullies are so disgusting that only people with extremely low self-esteem will stay with them (or financially struggling women/ men).
I admit, I have many insecurities, all thanks to rude vicious BULLIES and the pressures of the society.😂 The society pressures women to look perfect, behave perfect and behave like a “lady” at all times, yet also eat pizza, not be too demanding with money or wear “too much” make-up, and work but not anything more qualified than men etc. These demands are ENDLESS and women feel super insecure about many things. For men there are similar pressures. Earn a lot of money, have a cool car, go to the gym, be smart, be funny with the ladies, but don’t over do it to look pathetic etc etc.
My insecurities have affected my dating life severely. So how can I and others overcome our insecurities to have a healthy relationship? Here are some ideas:
- Don’t mock other people’s bodies even if your date is “perfect”. You never know if she/ he was overweight as a kid or has some hidden flaw/ problem that isn’t visible in public. Even if she/ he doesn’t have anything, they might later in life and this type of negative talk isn’t encouraging to anyone, even for the perfect 10s.
- Complimenting people makes you look beautiful. Encourage yourself, your date and others around you. If someone calls you fake for it, you know his/ her personality type and no need to get to know that person any further. 😂
- Find your best quality and emphasize it. Simply being loyal is a rare quality today worth more than any hot body.
- Don’t compare yourself to others even if others have. You are unique and you deserve happiness and confidence just like anyone else in this world. Fuck everyone who disagrees.
- Surround yourself with good people. Move to a new country if you have to, change your job, get a new friend circle. Whatever it takes. Toxic people are not healthy for anyone and your self-esteem and dating life will improve immediately once you get rid off the people putting you down.
- Don’t bring yourself down no matter what. Avoid negative self-talk even if you hear it from others. You might feel really insecure about some feature but try to emphasize your good features instead of fixating on your flaws.
- If you can afford it, fix your “flaws”. New hair, make-up, clothes etc. Makeovers can be very expensive (especially plastic surgery and botox!), but find simple solutions within your budget. (Check my budgeting guide.) For example, a simple fringe will hide ugly eyebrows/ non existing eyebrows instead of spending hundreds of euros in microblading or hair growth serums.
- If you are dating an insecure man, make him feel more secure by not talking about your exes and don’t talk to your hot male model/ actor friend in front of him. If your good looking male friend calls you, explain yourself to your man so he doesn’t get weird ideas.
- If you are dating an insecure woman, don’t stare at other women in front of her.🙂
- As a simple rule, don’t make racist/ sexist/ abusive jokes about anyone’s appearance when you meet a new date or compare people’s looks. You don’t know your new partner’s personality that well and what triggers her/him.
Bullying is unfortunately the number one cause for all of our insecurities. It causes PTSD, low self-esteem, inability to trust new people, paranoia and problems with your sex life to mention a few issues. Be understanding and if you love an insecure woman/ man make her/ him feel worthy, loved and handsome by respecting her/ him while not compromising your own self-worth. If she/ he is nice to you, be nice and don’t try to make her/ him jealous with other people. 😊🌸