We all have assumptions of others, we judge by appearance, have expectations by what you have heard/ read/ seen about others, but what is the reality in the end? Celebrities are a great example. We have an image of them based on their public apperance but we have no actual clue what kind of people they really are.
Single women get harsh judgement from everyone around them. Beautiful women are assumed to be unfaithful. Women without kids are automatically assumed they hate kids. Men who drive posh cars are branded as unloyal players. Men who are smart and quiet are assumed to be more loyal than outgoing fun guys. These unfortunate judgements can eliminate potential loyal marriage material partners from your life. I know I have been categorized as “not marriage material” by men who make assumptions about me without getting to know me personally. It’s a shame, because I personally have never cheated on anyone. Then again, I have lived in several European countries and Europe has the highest divorce rate out of all continents and they are very biased towards non-white women. Interestingly, miserable people love to judge single women just because we are not bitter yet and feel optimistic about marriage and future.
So here’s my list of things you should consider when you meet a new woman/ man and her/his book cover makes you judgemental. 😬📚
- A douchebag look. He drives a sports car, has a big watch, slimy hair and boat shoes. These men could be players or could be burned by women and are “re-inventing” themselves. You just have to figure it out yourself. Sometimes nerds who were bullied, re-invent themselves with a new look so they look douchy but have a sweet personality.
- A “hoe” look. I guess some could argue Kim Kardashian has this look. However, she doesn’t drink, is a smart business woman and has been married for a long time without any drama. Of course there are some women who get this look just to steal other women’s men, but they are not smart like Kim. ☺️
- A sweet, nerdy, “loyal” guy. You all know the type, shy, dresses conservative, wears often glasses and talks intelligent stuff. This doesn’t mean this guy is loyal, sweet and makes a good boyfriend though. Many misogynists are nerds, work in tech and seem sweet on the outside. Be careful.
- A shy intelligent woman. They could be wild too. 🤣
- Asian women. Men often confuse them as easy, fun and good in bed. The steretypes for Asian women is pretty disgusting in Europe/ the States. Ugly old British men go to Asia to find young girls and assume a nasty ass 70-year old can get an 18-year old girl. Sadly, they often do due to inequalities and female poverty created by Western countries.
- Russian women. The unfortute stereotype of an Eastern European woman still today is that she is a prostitute. I’ve heard pretty disgusting assumptions about Russian/ Estonian women in Finland. The fact is however, Russian culture is very family oriented like Indian culture is and they pay attention to who they marry. They prefer to marry in higher society like Indians do and value higher education and both cultures are collectivist.
- Women who like luxurious stuff. It can be a woman from any country, yet the assumptions seem to be the same everywhere. Gold digger, high maintenance, never satisfied for anything and spends all your money/ leeches off of your money. Interestingly, I don’t even wear luxury stuff because I live in Finland where men are so stingy that I have to buy everything from my part-time work’s pennies (So I can’t afford shit) YET I have been branded as a gold digger by all men in Finland. 🤣🤷🏽♀️ Apparently if a woman doesn’t walk around in sweat pants, all natural hair, zero make-up and ugly shoes, you’re immediately a gold digger. 😂
- Beautiful women who wear make-up. I was called ” Dumb as a rock” by a white male colleague in a tech company I used to work for. My intelligence has been questioned many times by ugly men. Managers, colleagues, clients, hiring managers, and even some dates. Once I was told “you can’t be smart because you’re pretty”. I’ve also been complimented at work how nice I look, not how good job I did. My managers have NEVER defended me either. 🤣 Male managers tend to join the bullying instead of actually taking leadership. 👎🏽Also some men assume you’re “perfect” but then find one flaw in you after you wash off your make-up and run away. 🤣
- Rich daddy douchebag. These are 99% of the time accurate! They want perfect women, yet cheat on them and mock women who aren’t perfect. Weirdly, they all end up married. Should probably do research how “well” their marriages are going though. 🤣🤫
- Successful alpha male. Many women fall for these men for a good reason. They are handsome, polite and successful. They are “perfect”. But is there really a “perfect” man?🤔
- Feminist man-hater. Someone made her hate men. Maybe if she finds love again she will stop being a man-hater. ☺️ Even if she does find a man, she shouldn’t be expected to give up feminism.
- A good-looking man from a wealthy family. This man is different from the rich daddy douchebag because he actually behaves well and is polite. Unfortunately, many women from humble backgrounds tend to avoid these men because they assume these men’s expectations are unrealistic and they could never match them. However, you never know for sure before you get to know the man. I’ve met a few that were really not arrogant AT ALL and instead were helpful and down to earth regardless their high status in the society. It’s good to know that not ALL men play their wealthy priviledge card even if they could (literally get away with anything). 😊👍🏽
As a conclusion, you simply can’t always judge a book by it’s cover. There might be red flags, but it’s for you to find out for sure if your judgement is correct. People tend to give up too easily when they make assumptions or have too high expectations. I know I have and it’s not fair for the other person. As psychologists say, it takes about three months to truly know a person, because the first three months is an illusion of what you want that person to be. So don’t stress about marriage material, just enjoy dating. (http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/11/03/tf.three.month.dating.rule/index.html) ☺️💃🏽🌸