A female friend just made a statement about my jealousy issues and I decided to write a blog post about it. She said “you associate jealousy with love and that is NOT healthy”, when I told her that I feel comfortable and cared for when a man questions if I’m really there where I tell him I am and asks to confirm with video or pictures and other jealous behavior. I feel good. Some consider it super unhealthy but I feel like showing jealousy is caring, being temperamental is showing emotions and asking questions and suspiciousness is normal for new relationships. It probably has something to do with some women simply having zero respect for other people’s relationships and men (especially in Europe) not giving a damn either. Careless, emotionless behavior is irritating to me and I personally don’t feel loved if someone doesn’t feel any jealousy/ obsessiveness towards me. I also can’t stand disrespectful behavior from men and women. There’s something wrong with a person who flirts in front of his/her date with someone else and you have the right to be jealous.
So what can jealous people do about their emotions? I guess there are cultural differences but I’m temperamental and I prefer it to cold dead inside Scandinavian mentality. I’m not saying OBSESSIVE jealousy is great and some men definitely take it too far (like eliminating ALL your male friends). Generally reacting if your date is flirting with someone else in front of you, doesn’t answer if you ask him/ her where was she/ he etc. is normal though. Stalking someone’s phone is illegal and crazy however.🤣 Men and women should also ALWAYS play a fair game. Elimiting competition is an art form that you need to master by improving yourself, NOT by threatening or bribing the competition mafia-style. 🤣🤣 If someone likes you, they won’t go for a competing man/ woman if you keep your man/ woman happy the way THEY want and you have agreed/ discussed together. Here’s some tips to manage your jealousy:
- Tell your woman/man you don’t accept her/him flirting with others in front of you. If she/ he doesn’t understand that, dump her/ his ass after 3 months. Give her/him three months.
- Do NOT demand her to eliminate ALL her male friends. This is creepy, especially if they have been platonic friends for 15-25 years. If it didn’t happen in 15-25 years, it won’t happen now. 🤣
- Befriend the women/ men you’re jealous/ suspicious of. Then if your man/ woman tries to flirt again, you will know. 🤣
- Control your temper with yoga/ meditation. If you live in a highly stressful environment/ country, move out! A stressful environment is the worst for a new relationship.
- Understand cultural differences. I come from a multicultural background so I get a long with temperamental people but non-temperamental people really don’t get me at all. 🤣
- Understand what is normal and what is psychotic. 😅 If you are together in an event and your woman/ man starts flirting with others, you have the right to be jealous and obsessive. Just don’t make a scene there, be always diplomatic and talk about it at home. If you and your man however, are lining to the post office and someone hotter stands nearby (and your man is not even looking at me and his back is turned against me and I’m looking at my phone) and you start making out in front of her, that’s psychotic, OK. Chill bitches, I’m not out to steal anyone’s man. I believe in girlcode unlike most European women. 😆
- Control your emotions in public. I’m temperamental and I live in a country where people think I’m a psycho, but I’m just a normal person with healthy emotions. Making a scene in public is however not recommended. You should always try to control your behavior and wait for private discussions until you’re home.
- Discussion, discussion, discussion. It’s the key to ANY type of relationship regardless if it’s serious or not. People hate vague and everyone has the right to know what’s going on in their social life. Even for “friends with benefits” it’s important to discuss the relationship.
- Avoid men/ women who can’t answer questions. Nothing makes people more suspicious than avoiding answering your questions. Honesty is important for non-serious relationships too like “friends with benefits” and other open relationships. They have the right to know if you’re seeing other people at the same time.
- You need trust and reliability. For this to happen you and the other person simply need to have good communication, honesty, not behave suspiciously, answer questions, respect each other’s time and values, and loyalty. Even for “open” relationships that seem to be a thing in Europe, you need this because every relationship is a relationship.