Is Associating Jealousy with Love Normal?

A female friend just made a statement about my jealousy issues and I decided to write a blog post about it. She said “you associate jealousy with love and that is NOT healthy”, when I told her that I feel comfortable and cared for when a man questions if I’m really there where I tell him I am and asks to confirm with video or pictures and other jealous behavior. I feel good. Some consider it super unhealthy but I feel like showing jealousy is caring, being temperamental is showing emotions and asking questions and suspiciousness is normal for new relationships. It probably has something to do with some women simply having zero respect for other people’s relationships and men (especially in Europe) not giving a damn either. Careless, emotionless behavior is irritating to me and I personally don’t feel loved if someone doesn’t feel any jealousy/ obsessiveness towards me. I also can’t stand disrespectful behavior from men and women. There’s something wrong with a person who flirts in front of his/her date with someone else and you have the right to be jealous.

So what can jealous people do about their emotions? I guess there are cultural differences but I’m temperamental and I prefer it to cold dead inside Scandinavian mentality. I’m not saying OBSESSIVE jealousy is great and some men definitely take it too far (like eliminating ALL your male friends). Generally reacting if your date is flirting with someone else in front of you, doesn’t answer if you ask him/ her where was she/ he etc. is normal though. Stalking someone’s phone is illegal and crazy however.不 Men and women should also ALWAYS play a fair game. Elimiting competition is an art form that you need to master by improving yourself, NOT by threatening or bribing the competition mafia-style. 不不 If someone likes you, they won’t go for a competing man/ woman if you keep your man/ woman happy the way THEY want and you have agreed/ discussed together. Here’s some tips to manage your jealousy:

  1. Tell your woman/man you don’t accept her/him flirting with others in front of you. If she/ he doesn’t understand that, dump her/ his ass after 3 months. Give her/him three months.
  2. Do NOT demand her to eliminate ALL her male friends. This is creepy, especially if they have been platonic friends for 15-25 years. If it didn’t happen in 15-25 years, it won’t happen now. 不
  3. Befriend the women/ men you’re jealous/ suspicious of. Then if your man/ woman tries to flirt again, you will know. 不
  4. Control your temper with yoga/ meditation. If you live in a highly stressful environment/ country, move out! A stressful environment is the worst for a new relationship.
  5. Understand cultural differences. I come from a multicultural background so I get a long with temperamental people but non-temperamental people really don’t get me at all. 不
  6. Understand what is normal and what is psychotic. If you are together in an event and your woman/ man starts flirting with others, you have the right to be jealous and obsessive. Just don’t make a scene there, be always diplomatic and talk about it at home. If you and your man however, are lining to the post office and someone hotter stands nearby (and your man is not even looking at me and his back is turned against me and I’m looking at my phone) and you start making out in front of her, that’s psychotic, OK. Chill bitches, I’m not out to steal anyone’s man. I believe in girlcode unlike most European women.
  7. Control your emotions in public. I’m temperamental and I live in a country where people think I’m a psycho, but I’m just a normal person with healthy emotions. Making a scene in public is however not recommended. You should always try to control your behavior and wait for private discussions until you’re home.
  8. Discussion, discussion, discussion. It’s the key to ANY type of relationship regardless if it’s serious or not. People hate vague and everyone has the right to know what’s going on in their social life. Even for “friends with benefits” it’s important to discuss the relationship.
  9. Avoid men/ women who can’t answer questions. Nothing makes people more suspicious than avoiding answering your questions. Honesty is important for non-serious relationships too like “friends with benefits” and other open relationships. They have the right to know if you’re seeing other people at the same time.
  10. You need trust and reliability. For this to happen you and the other person simply need to have good communication, honesty, not behave suspiciously, answer questions, respect each other’s time and values, and loyalty. Even for “open” relationships that seem to be a thing in Europe, you need this because every relationship is a relationship.
Normal people tend to avoid drama. So I guess I’m not the most normal person out there. Photo by: Leonardo Santos on

Don’t Judge a Woman/ Man by Their Cover

Everyone in Finland thinks I’m a retarded gold digger and untrustworthy
because I like make-up and nice clothes. I also smile too much, so I’m FAKE. 儭
Photo by: Sonia Jain

We all have assumptions of others, we judge by appearance, have expectations by what you have heard/ read/ seen about others, but what is the reality in the end? Celebrities are a great example. We have an image of them based on their public apperance but we have no actual clue what kind of people they really are.

Single women get harsh judgement from everyone around them. Beautiful women are assumed to be unfaithful. Women without kids are automatically assumed they hate kids. Men who drive posh cars are branded as unloyal players. Men who are smart and quiet are assumed to be more loyal than outgoing fun guys. These unfortunate judgements can eliminate potential loyal marriage material partners from your life. I know I have been categorized as “not marriage material” by men who make assumptions about me without getting to know me personally. It’s a shame, because I personally have never cheated on anyone. Then again, I have lived in several European countries and Europe has the highest divorce rate out of all continents and they are very biased towards non-white women. Interestingly, miserable people love to judge single women just because we are not bitter yet and feel optimistic about marriage and future.

So here’s my list of things you should consider when you meet a new woman/ man and her/his book cover makes you judgemental. 突

  1. A douchebag look. He drives a sports car, has a big watch, slimy hair and boat shoes. These men could be players or could be burned by women and are “re-inventing” themselves. You just have to figure it out yourself. Sometimes nerds who were bullied, re-invent themselves with a new look so they look douchy but have a sweet personality.
  2. A “hoe” look. I guess some could argue Kim Kardashian has this look. However, she doesn’t drink, is a smart business woman and has been married for a long time without any drama. Of course there are some women who get this look just to steal other women’s men, but they are not smart like Kim. 綽
  3. A sweet, nerdy, “loyal” guy. You all know the type, shy, dresses conservative, wears often glasses and talks intelligent stuff. This doesn’t mean this guy is loyal, sweet and makes a good boyfriend though. Many misogynists are nerds, work in tech and seem sweet on the outside. Be careful.
  4. A shy intelligent woman. They could be wild too. 不
  5. Asian women. Men often confuse them as easy, fun and good in bed. The steretypes for Asian women is pretty disgusting in Europe/ the States. Ugly old British men go to Asia to find young girls and assume a nasty ass 70-year old can get an 18-year old girl. Sadly, they often do due to inequalities and female poverty created by Western countries.
  6. Russian women. The unfortute stereotype of an Eastern European woman still today is that she is a prostitute. I’ve heard pretty disgusting assumptions about Russian/ Estonian women in Finland. The fact is however, Russian culture is very family oriented like Indian culture is and they pay attention to who they marry. They prefer to marry in higher society like Indians do and value higher education and both cultures are collectivist.
  7. Women who like luxurious stuff. It can be a woman from any country, yet the assumptions seem to be the same everywhere. Gold digger, high maintenance, never satisfied for anything and spends all your money/ leeches off of your money. Interestingly, I don’t even wear luxury stuff because I live in Finland where men are so stingy that I have to buy everything from my part-time work’s pennies (So I can’t afford shit) YET I have been branded as a gold digger by all men in Finland. 不仄賤儭 Apparently if a woman doesn’t walk around in sweat pants, all natural hair, zero make-up and ugly shoes, you’re immediately a gold digger.
  8. Beautiful women who wear make-up. I was called ” Dumb as a rock” by a white male colleague in a tech company I used to work for. My intelligence has been questioned many times by ugly men. Managers, colleagues, clients, hiring managers, and even some dates. Once I was told “you can’t be smart because you’re pretty”. I’ve also been complimented at work how nice I look, not how good job I did. My managers have NEVER defended me either. 不 Male managers tend to join the bullying instead of actually taking leadership. 璀lso some men assume you’re “perfect” but then find one flaw in you after you wash off your make-up and run away. 不
  9. Rich daddy douchebag. These are 99% of the time accurate! They want perfect women, yet cheat on them and mock women who aren’t perfect. Weirdly, they all end up married. Should probably do research how “well” their marriages are going though. 不井
  10. Successful alpha male. Many women fall for these men for a good reason. They are handsome, polite and successful. They are “perfect”. But is there really a “perfect” man?
  11. Feminist man-hater. Someone made her hate men. Maybe if she finds love again she will stop being a man-hater. 綽 Even if she does find a man, she shouldn’t be expected to give up feminism.
  12. A good-looking man from a wealthy family. This man is different from the rich daddy douchebag because he actually behaves well and is polite. Unfortunately, many women from humble backgrounds tend to avoid these men because they assume these men’s expectations are unrealistic and they could never match them. However, you never know for sure before you get to know the man. I’ve met a few that were really not arrogant AT ALL and instead were helpful and down to earth regardless their high status in the society. It’s good to know that not ALL men play their wealthy priviledge card even if they could (literally get away with anything).

As a conclusion, you simply can’t always judge a book by it’s cover. There might be red flags, but it’s for you to find out for sure if your judgement is correct. People tend to give up too easily when they make assumptions or have too high expectations. I know I have and it’s not fair for the other person. As psychologists say, it takes about three months to truly know a person, because the first three months is an illusion of what you want that person to be. So don’t stress about marriage material, just enjoy dating. ( 綽踢

What Is a “Real” Man?

Photo by Cesar Galeu00e3o on

Men who say they are “real men” are NOT 99% of the time. They have a very interesting view in life and how to behave with women. They believe in certain values, yet seem to not implement them AT ALL. Well, their logic is, that only certain women should be protected and the rest don’t matter to the world. So here’s my short collection of “real man” behaviour that is not in my opinion, real man behaviour at all.

I assume many smart women and men will agree with me. Just think of the exact opposite and you will find an authentic man ready to commit to you or if you are a man, don’t behave like this if you want to marry a nice woman and stay married.

  1. A “real man” compares women’s looks, judges and trash talks. It doesn’t matter if a hot perfect women gets cheated on too because a perfect body is all women need. They don’t have an explanation why women with perfect bodies get cheated on/ dumped too, because a “real man” doesn’t need to explain himself or his views to anyone. EVER.
  2. He doesn’t answers your calls/ texts and speaks rudely when he does. It’s masculine to be trashy.
  3. He doesn’t respect his mother. “Real men” are not “momma’s boys”.
  4. He gossips about other people’s sex lives. There’s nothing more interesting than talking about random people’s sex lives because “real men” can do and say whatever the fuck they want without any consequences. 綽
  5. He cheats, lies and steals. Plain and simple. Cheating is “cool” because “real men” get bored easily. Lying is so easy for “real men” so who gives a flying fuck if it breaks the law.
  6. He doesn’t need to stick to any agreed schedules because “real men” can do whatever they want and women just need to adapt to it.
  7. He LOVES to play juvenile games. Especially after 30 when most men prefer to chill and settle. “Real men” believe idiotic childish games are the only way to get women and once they get the women, they continue trolling until they drive the women mad and on early retirement. Trolling is for “real men”, communication and adult behaviour is for losers.
  8. He eats meat. LOTS of meat. He also despises vegans and spits on their food.
  9. He LOVES to torture others. Mental/ physical tormenting, bullying, physical abuse, verbal abuse, control games and perhaps even killing someone’s pet are “real men” behaviour that makes a man a man. Emotions and empathy are for the weak. Extra “real man” points if you are a nazi and hate everyone except other “real men” AND cause serious physical damage to a woman’s health.
  10. He claims a woman as his own just to make sure nobody else will date her and she will die alone.不 A “real man” who claims a woman as his own has actual ZERO interest in dating that woman YET doesn’t want anybody else to date her either because “real men” can claim any woman they want in the world as their own without actually giving flying fuck about this woman. Extra “real man” points if you manage to do that across the globe for seven years to a woman you’ve met ONCE.
  11. He believes women don’t need female friends or ANY friends for that matter. Male friends are even worse because women can’t be trusted around random men without immediately sleeping with them! So isolation is the best tactic for a “real man” to keep a woman in order.
  12. He hates most animals because they are too furry and needy. Ewww pure hearts and emotions. (Check my Douchebag post about cat-haters)
  13. He punishes women for random stuff. Why should women be confident, educated, dress smart and have fabulous hair and make-up?! It only distracts “real men” so better to just destroy everything that makes women confident. 踢
  14. He puts EVERYTHING else before a woman. Work, friends, randoms. Women need to learn their place and it’s never on the top of the list for “real men”.
  15. He has a super hot and loyal wife/ girlfriend but cheats on her whenever he can to feel like a “real man”, because nothing makes a real man feel better about himself than breaking the heart of hot loyal woman.
  16. He vanishes when things get complicated. Fun is the most important thing, real men don’t need to solve problems, they avoid them.
  17. He is egocentric. “Real men” put their own feelings and needs before a woman’s any time.
  18. He listens to PSYCHOPATHS for dating advice! Psychopaths are “real men”. The less hair on their scalp and the crazier the advice, the better. Online dating experts who advice real men how to date are the best thing that happened to these “real men”.
  19. He makes a woman jealous with other women. “Real men” can openly flirt with other women when they are on a date with another one because this is “real man confidence”. Respecting women is for the weak. 不
  20. He ignores women. “Real men” believe sociopaths are “real men” and that’s how they should behave too.
  21. He says he knows how women should be treated instead of listening to the woman how she wants to be treated. “Real men” don’t take advice from women.
  22. He doesn’t cry or support a crying woman. “Real men” don’t cry or have emotions. Crying is for losers. Duh. (Check my douchebag post if you didn’t already)
  23. He uses this emoji: .
  24. He believes a “real man” looks a certain way. He will try to achieve this look by any means but will still have a fragile self-esteem hence the “real man” behavior.
  25. He doesn’t understand sarcasm. So “real men” shouldn’t read this blog post. 綽

Ironically, from my personal experience, like in point 19., “real men” simply can NOT handle being treated the exact same way back they treat women. The society allows men to behave in a rude manner but then doesn’t teach them how to handle their emotions when they meet a woman who doesn’t tolerate their BS.不 I’m the type of woman to call people out for their BS, at work, in private life and in general. 80% of men worldwide can’t handle it. In my opinion, these are not real men. Real men protect and respect ALL women regardless of their skin color, religion, age and values. 綽 儭If you have any experience of this type of behaviour, send me a message!

It’s All About Interest Rates

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

If you want to save money, you need to look at the interest rates. Reducing debt with the highest interest rates is the first thing you should look at. It doesn’t matter if it’s a credit card, a house loan, or a monthly instalment for a new TV/ phone/ laptop/ car, you need to eliminate the highest interest rate FIRST. High interest rates are only good for your investment savings account.

For unemployed people, struggling entrepreneurs and women with low paying part-time jobs it can be a real challenge to pay off your debt and prioritise bills with the highest interest rates as their payment date isn’t scheduled according to the highest interest rate unfortunately. Wouldn’t it be great if your first monthly bill was the one with the highest interest rate.

Don’t fall for despair though. There are some tips and tricks you can do to keep track of your bills.

  1. Go through the interest rates of ALL your bills. When I had a full-time job, I didn’t pay attention to interest rates, bank fees, and other extra costs but these things matter more than you think.
  2. You can’t avoid credit card payments. Some bills can be postponed and negotiated with the bank, but unfortunately most credit card payments can not. Keep this in mind when you use your credit card.
  3. Negotiate mortgage loan payments with the bank. Another bill you can’t postpone, but of course it also depends on the country, bank and type of loan you have.
  4. Avoid buying stuff with monthly instalments. Check the interest rate first! If you buy a new phone, check how much you’ll actually end up paying in the end of your one or two year contract. (It’s A LOT more.)
  5. Avoid getting a loan to pay off your bills. These high interest loans that private companies offer to EVERYONE without checking your credit score are tempting and easy to get, but as usual, when something comes easy there’s a catch. They charge huge interest rates. Calculate how much your debt is, your interest rate on that debt and is it worth paying off that debt with another high interest loan.

For more information and tips, you can buy my Budgeting Tips 2020 from my Shop. (Also available in Finnish.) This post wasn’t sarcastic by the way. These tips are real and serious. Be safe, happy and don’t spend your pennies on stupid crap my dear readers. 綽

Overcoming Your Insecurities for a Better Dating Life

Insecurities caused by bullying can have a devastating impact in your dating life. Bullies find out your weaknesses and attack viciously because they are garbage people.

Nobody ever made themselves pretty by sabotaging others. Interestingly, the bullies with the ugliest souls seem to have a lot of success in dating. So do horrible personalities attract each other or just weak souls who settle for whatever they can get? From what I’ve seen, it’s the latter. Bullies are so disgusting that only people with extremely low self-esteem will stay with them (or financially struggling women/ men).

I admit, I have many insecurities, all thanks to rude vicious BULLIES and the pressures of the society. The society pressures women to look perfect, behave perfect and behave like a “lady” at all times, yet also eat pizza, not be too demanding with money or wear “too much” make-up, and work but not anything more qualified than men etc. These demands are ENDLESS and women feel super insecure about many things. For men there are similar pressures. Earn a lot of money, have a cool car, go to the gym, be smart, be funny with the ladies, but don’t over do it to look pathetic etc etc.

My insecurities have affected my dating life severely. So how can I and others overcome our insecurities to have a healthy relationship? Here are some ideas:

  1. Don’t mock other people’s bodies even if your date is “perfect”. You never know if she/ he was overweight as a kid or has some hidden flaw/ problem that isn’t visible in public. Even if she/ he doesn’t have anything, they might later in life and this type of negative talk isn’t encouraging to anyone, even for the perfect 10s.
  2. Complimenting people makes you look beautiful. Encourage yourself, your date and others around you. If someone calls you fake for it, you know his/ her personality type and no need to get to know that person any further.
  3. Find your best quality and emphasize it. Simply being loyal is a rare quality today worth more than any hot body.
  4. Don’t compare yourself to others even if others have. You are unique and you deserve happiness and confidence just like anyone else in this world. Fuck everyone who disagrees.
  5. Surround yourself with good people. Move to a new country if you have to, change your job, get a new friend circle. Whatever it takes. Toxic people are not healthy for anyone and your self-esteem and dating life will improve immediately once you get rid off the people putting you down.
  6. Don’t bring yourself down no matter what. Avoid negative self-talk even if you hear it from others. You might feel really insecure about some feature but try to emphasize your good features instead of fixating on your flaws.
  7. If you can afford it, fix your “flaws”. New hair, make-up, clothes etc. Makeovers can be very expensive (especially plastic surgery and botox!), but find simple solutions within your budget. (Check my budgeting guide.) For example, a simple fringe will hide ugly eyebrows/ non existing eyebrows instead of spending hundreds of euros in microblading or hair growth serums.
  8. If you are dating an insecure man, make him feel more secure by not talking about your exes and don’t talk to your hot male model/ actor friend in front of him. If your good looking male friend calls you, explain yourself to your man so he doesn’t get weird ideas.
  9. If you are dating an insecure woman, don’t stare at other women in front of her.
  10. As a simple rule, don’t make racist/ sexist/ abusive jokes about anyone’s appearance when you meet a new date or compare people’s looks. You don’t know your new partner’s personality that well and what triggers her/him.

Bullying is unfortunately the number one cause for all of our insecurities. It causes PTSD, low self-esteem, inability to trust new people, paranoia and problems with your sex life to mention a few issues. Be understanding and if you love an insecure woman/ man make her/ him feel worthy, loved and handsome by respecting her/ him while not compromising your own self-worth. If she/ he is nice to you, be nice and don’t try to make her/ him jealous with other people.

Bullies love to create insecurities in people who they find more confident than themselves.
My ex-colleagues started this vicious hate campaign against my dark under eyes and imperfect body led by a psychopath boss who has NO filter or manners.不 Tough shit, my eye bags and imperfect body are there until I can afford some Botox and plastic surgery OR I move to a country where these things aren’t a problem.

In Loving Memory of London

My dear cat London passed away two weeks ago. Love you forever. 歹

The inspiration to this blog’s amazingly stylish logo, my best friend, my only friend in Finland in dark times, and my furry grey baby cat London passed away two weeks ago. 歹 I had a little break from writing as my cat’s death hasn’t been the only struggle I’m currently dealing with, but I’ll be back soon with my sarcastic posts about dating and useful budgeting tips. 綽

Cats are furry little angels that touch our hearts in a way people who don’t like cats will never understand. They are intelligent, charming, temperamental, stubborn and filled with love. Different cats show love in a very unique way and I always had cats since I was a child. London has, however, by far been the best cat so far. She passed away in suspicious circumstances, her breed is Scottish Straight but generally she was very healthy and vibrant. My other cat Bronx misses her dearly, but I’ll get another cat friend for him soon. Cats are group animals and need each others company. Even though London and Bronx had their disputes, Bronx loved her so much. 歹 If you have any pet stories, let me know! Oh and for the funny part, cats are the the funniest furballs you can find, just Google “funny cat videos”. The cats will speak for themselves. 鳶

GUEST POST: Big Brands are Irrelevant When You’re Shopping for Healthy Food

Photo by Maarten van den Heuvel on

Being on a budget is not synonymous with eating poorly. Although this is a common thought, here you will learn about eating well on a budget. Many useful tips help with eating well on a budget that you might have never realized.

Eat Healthy And Spend Less

Eating well on a budget helps you think better and make better decisions. In this matter, it becomes a circle: you eat well and make the right decision of not wasting on lousy meals. It is a virtuous circle. For example, if you are studying, you need to be able to think straight, and we will teach you that eating well on a college budget is possible.

Sometimes you are hungry, and with little money, you think that fast food or processed food will be cheaper than getting some healthy ingredients and cooking a meal. Eating well on a budget is not hard, and we will show you how to accomplish that. To be sure, eating well on a budget is just a matter of knowledge and making decisions. You can rest assured of that.

Below you will see some tips that should help you spend less on food and, at the same time, eat better food. You will soon be eating well on a budget.

Plan Ahead For Eating Healthier On A Budget
Photo by Trang Doan on

Among the tips for eating well on a budget, the first one should be obvious, but for some, it is not. Simply plan. What does this involve? First, do not eat out or order if you are already on a budget.

Then, prepare a meal list for the whole week to start eating well on a budget. What are you going to eat each day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? You just need to be aware of how much you are going to eat and then find a way to balance things out. This way, eating well on a budget becomes a simple task.

When you know what you will eat, it becomes easier to put up a concise shopping list that helps with eating well on a budget. Add everything you need, and only that.

Some ingredients you should always have at home include olive oil, flour, tomatoes, frozen vegetables, pasta, rice, and potatoes (you can do almost anything with potatoes). They are cheap and help you with eating well on a budget.

Finding recipes online helps a lot with eating well cheaply. There are many sites dedicated to teaching how to cook certain healthy dishes that are made of cheap ingredients. They are a big help when you aim to eat well on a budget.

Another helpful tip is to take your Saturday or Sunday to prepare your meals for the week. That should help you start eating well on a budget. You will save a lot of time during the week if all you need to do every day is just heat your food. Better than that, you will be eating well cheap dinners.

Making Smart Choices Help You With Eating Well On A Budget
Photo by Lisa Fotios on

First of all, do not buy anything out of impulse if you want to start eating well on a budget. Save money to buy what you need and prepare a dish at home. This helps with eating well on a budget.

Do not buy food the way you buy gadgets if what you want is eating well on a budget. When you are shopping for food, avoid big brands, and this can help you with eating well on a budget. Big brands put a lot of addictive substances in their food. Go for some generic brands and read their labels when available, and you will find out ways to aid eating well on a small budget.


With our tips for eating well on a budget, you now know that it is not too hard to eat healthy.

Also, we understand that sometimes you might not find options that help you with eating healthy on a budget diet. There are places where good food simply does not arrive, and that is sad. Still, try to aim for the best options as possible, and you will be eating well on a budget easily.

Authors Bio:

Sherry Kimball is a consultant and been involved in many successful projects with a range of companies throughout the States. She enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of relationships on the best online dating sites, when not absorbed in the latest gripping articles. Sherry loves cooking, doing sports, and otherwise spends far much time at the computer.

Finding a Quality Single Man/ Woman from 15 Cities:

Go to Paris or London for quality men.
You won’t find gems from the countryside.
Photo by: Teddy Joseph on

I hope you read my reviews on 15 livable and not so livable cities! I’ll continue my personal reviews on finding quality women/ men from these 15 cities as a single highly educated person. I’m writing from a heterosexual woman’s perspective, but try to include stuff for my male readers too. I hope my assessment helps my male readers find love. I changed Lisbon to Tallinn on my list because the first time I went to Lisbon was with my Finnish boyfriend and the second time was a lame 2-day work trip, so I wasn’t paying attention to quality Portuguese men. Hah. I also changed Vienna to Amsterdam because I have always visited Vienna with my parents/ sister or been too young to look for a husband.

I chose these cities as Part 2 for my previous blog post, because I’ve either live there or spent a lot of time there. Try to understand the sarcasm here, my blog is not super serious, okay?

Quality Men:

  1. Paris. Wealthy Parisian men are so different from other European countries. They are raised to be polite, international and tolerant. One handsome French guy lived on the 16th Arrs., had friends, money and looks, yet made the effort to get to know people from other social circles. He went to a low income black neighbourhood in the States, hanged out with locals and made friends outside of his posh Parisian upbringing. I never heard him make any racist/ sexist jokes and he always made the effort to switch to English if there were people who didn’t speak French.
  2. London. A mixture of people from all over the world. You can find highly educated, international and well-mannered men if you look for them. Not in basic British pubs though.
  3. Berlin. Very international, young and fun. German guys are more outgoing than in other German cities.
  4. Barcelona. Intelligent, professional and outgoing men. I got waaaay too little credit for my work in a Finnish company when I handled tricky situations abroad and found even a local lawyer to help us out in Barcelona. I think women can easily find good men in this city.
  5. Amsterdam. Big European cities attract quality people from all over the world. Amsterdam too even though there’s a Red Light district. Just avoid meeting men there and you’ll be good.
  6. Tallinn. I live in Finland, so Tallinn is super close by and many Estonians live in Finland. Estonian men are very polite and positive people. Very cool view of life and it’s an important quality in a man. Nothing worse than a nihilist.
  7. Sofia. I’ve never actually dated a Bulgarian man, but the culture is very macho and they protect their women. I’ve had a couple of good male friends from Bulgaria and they were very protective of me which was cute. We studied together in Finland but they left (like all my friends) for better job opportunities.
  8. Milan. Italian guys are chill.
  9. Malta. It’s a bit like Las Vegas. Juvenile rich dudes enjoying sunshine and parties. Online casino guys and poker players. The lifestyle is not for people who want to settle down and have kids.
  10. Dublin. An Irish man gave me his phone number in a tram and was super cute. I never met with him though. Don’t remember why. My business college teachers were a little racist towards students from India. A little shocking to me how softly they spoke to me vs. Indian guys. As a mixed race woman, it’s not cool behaviour AT ALL.
  11. New Delhi. Well I’ve never been to nightclubs or tried local dating apps, but one traditional Indian matchmaking site didn’t accept my application. Maybe I sent a hangover pic, don’t remember. Oh well.
  12. Bangkok. I was seeing someone in Finland when I went there for holidays, so I wasn’t really looking for men. However, I got the impression that foreign guys are there for fun, some creepy perv tourists in Khao Sang Road and local men are too shy to approach you.
  13. Zurich. Conservative rich white people. If that’s you, then go for it! The rest, don’t bother.
  14. NYC. Stalking rich psycho brats, cold finance dudes, trophy wife dudes and arrogant men who have too many options. There are more women than men in the city, so the dating game is favourable for men. I met some local men via a dating site as a friend of mine suggested I should try it out. I guess she was actually just joking hah, but the dates I found from OkCupid didn’t lead to anything unfortunately. I might have been over doing it, even having two dates the same day. I screwed things up with an Indian young professor guy, next time I’m in the city, I need to chill. 不不
  15. Luxembourg. Obnoxious rich brats. Not very friendly towards non-European looking people. My French friend whom I’ve known since 2011 changed 100 percent when he moved there and the end result was that our friendship ended. 對Something in the air? Racism perhaps?尹不

Quality Women:

  1. Milan. Fashionable, friendly and smart women. If you want to impress your mommy, bring a well-mannered stylish woman home.
  2. NYC. Many ambitious young career single ladies with high standards and a great sense of fashion. A lot of international highly educated women. Quality women prefer NYC because it’s great for your career, people are friendly and you never feel lonely. Great choices for men, less for women. Hint, they all hang out in Starbucks.
  3. London. A good balance of normal vs. weirdos since it’s a big city. Generally I’ve found the British to be very talkative. Shy men have a good chance of finding women here.
  4. Berlin. If you avoid the punks and drunks, you can find intelligent, open-minded and well-mannered ladies. Most quality women in the city have moved there from other parts of Germany.
  5. Paris. Parisian women can be quite catty, but there are some real gems too. The French generally raise their kids quite well, so even if the women hate you, they’ll be polite about it. So dear men, don’t be afraid to ask a Parisian lady out.
  6. Amsterdam. Dutch women are very social and have no problem in approaching men. They get drunk and go for it. They have a lot of success too so they are doing something right. I knew some Dutch ladies from my student years so I’m not making this up!
  7. Barcelona. Spanish ladies are generally fun and outgoing.
  8. Tallinn. Estonian women are elegant, feminine, friendly and loyal. Some cattiness among other women sometimes, but men don’t need to worry about that. 綽
  9. Sofia. Bulgarian women are kind, calm and feminine. They have authentic confidence and I’m sure many men like that.
  10. Bangkok. Thai women are generally liked by Western men. Even one guy we fought over with my Estonian female friend (and we both ended up losing lol) married a Thai woman! Maybe it’s their excellent cooking skills. 仄賤儭
  11. Malta. It’s a bit like Las Vegas. Party animal tourist ladies enjoying sunshine and parties. Women are out for fun OR to recover from personal trauma (met some divorced women) in a relaxing island atmosphere. They are NOT looking for men to marry and have kids with.
  12. Dublin. Everyone’s drunk.
  13. New Delhi. Many Indian women are very traditional and many don’t mix with foreign guys in India. If you want an Indian lady, search from Europe or the States.
  14. Zurich. Conservative rich white people. If that’s you, then go for it! The rest, don’t bother.
  15. Luxembourg. Rich bitch syndrome. Maybe if you’re a man who can handle that, it’s perfect for you.

As a conclusion, AVOID the countryside from any country! Most ambitious singles from the countryside move to big cities anyways and the rest become baby making machines. The world is huge, don’t get stuck. 儭

Ambitious young single women prefer international atmospheres with great career opportunities, such as NYC, Milan and London. Photo by: Andrea Piacquadio on

My Travel Ratings As a Solo Traveler for 15 Cities

Paris is great even as a poor student. I studied business management there for one semester in 2011. Everyone is stylish, food is great and the atmosphere is super chill.

I can adapt to many countries and locations since I come from an international background. In many cities people have mistaken me as a local like in Paris and NYC. It’s cute, but then there are cities that are not so friendly towards solo female travellers with an international background. I chose these 15 cities because I have either lived there, spent enough time to get a good understanding of the atmosphere or applied/ looked for work there. I didn’t include my short tourist/ work trips, such as Tallinn, Stockholm, Amsterdam, Nice and Prague because I wanted to make a list of cities where I have experience of most of the things below. One to five day trips don’t really give a realistic idea unless you have time to do all of the things below.

If you are planning to move abroad as a solo person, I have listed these factors below to consider when planning to relocate to another country. Here’s my PERSONAL list of cities where I have received hostile treatment vs. friendly and which cities are affordable. Thumbs up is friendly, fun and affordable. Thumbs down, hostile, maybe even racist, very expensive. Both thumbs is either or, good and bad. Maybe it’s super fun and friendly but way too expensive or it’s an affordable place but super boring and impossible to find a quality partner. I’ll write a separate post of finding quality partners in different cities.

Airport/ Train/ Metro:
  1. New York City, United States. Airport security and police were friendly and “welcomed me back home” and gave me chocolate.
  2. Barcelona, Spain. I had extra kilos and I didn’t have to remove stuff thanks to the friendly lady.
  3. Bangkok, Thailand. Amazing customer service, felt safe as a female solo traveler and no hostility towards foreigners.
  4. Vienna, Austria. Friendly, great public transportation, no problems.
  5. Milan, Italy. Friendly, no problems.
  6. Malta. It’s a very tiny island, but well organized and safe for solo travelers.
  7. Sofia, Bulgaria. I never took the metro, but people were helpful in the tram when I asked for directions.
  8. Berlin, Germany. First time I arrived in Berlin as an exchange-student, a man helped me with my heavy suitcase (though he wasn’t airport staff). Same thing happened at a metro station, some man offered to carry my luggage up the staircase. In Munich airport the cafe guy gave me a candy bag for free and that was just three years ago.
  9. Lisbon, Portugal. Friendly, welcoming and chill atmosphere.
  10. London, UK. Airport and public transport was normal, nothing especially alarming.
  11. Dublin, Ireland. Friendly, but what annoyed me was that you had to buy the little plastic bag for your cosmetics for 1! The airports always give it for free so this was ridiculous.
  12. Paris, France. The airport lady didn’t charge me for extra kilos or ask me to remove stuff. Though, some metro lines and Gare du Nord train station are full of beggers and you really have to watch out for your bag. It took a while to get used to police men carrying semiautomatic rifles at train stations.
  13. Luxembourg. Taxi drivers were very helpful towards female solo travelers. Airport people were WEIRD as fuck to say the least. I think they are either bored or don’t have too many brown people coming around. A blonde woman with a baby and some older man were trying to peek at my phone and were staring at me like a criminal when I was waiting for my plane. Also all the signs were super confusing so I got lost and did the security check twice. In comparison to Paris where tourist signs were very clear and directions were clearly marked.
  14. New Delhi, India. People are friendly, but as a female solo traveler it can be very dangerous. Men stare in a primitive way and I have actually never in my life taken public transportation there, just private cars with drivers. For female solo travelers it’s a big NO.
  15. Zurich, Switzerland. Nobody helped me with my heavy suitcase even though people saw me struggling at the train station. I changed my train twice and nobody helped, just stared. Very cold atmosphere.
Nightclubs/ Restaurants/ Beauty and Hair Salons:
Malta was a fun place to live for four months in 2017. Many international students and young professionals. I’m here with French and Italian new friends. Photo by: Bacco by Hugo’s
  1. Milan. Super friendly atmosphere, easy to meet people. Though I knew people when I went there so it made easier. I got in to all the clubs and even to a private fashion party with my male model friends. Nice times.
  2. Bangkok. Friendly, though I didn’t visit too many nightclubs. Tourist areas were HORRIBLE. British drunks ruined that place for sure, but there were some quiet bars to sit, talk and have a drink. Tourist guided tours are good for solo travellers to meet people. Hanged out with British and German young tourists.
  3. Barcelona. Very hip city. Even though I went there for work, I spend a couple days with my friend touristing around. Easy to get around alone, safe, affordable and nice sophisticated clubs.
  4. Lisbon. Super chill, friendly and vacay mode. The beach is not far from the city, so you can chill at the beach and enjoy the nightlife in the city. Clubs are sophisticated and safe.
  5. Malta. Very young and extroverted. It’s full of foreigners. My landlord was almost the only Maltese person I hanged out with. Clubs are very cool, friendly and safe. A bit pricey however.
  6. New Delhi. Never went to a nightclub in India, but beauty salons are really good. Restaurants are amazing and yes the food is different than you get in Europe. They use very strong spices, Western stomachs need to be prepared. Indian bakeries are totally worth trying.
  7. Vienna. Small but sophisticated city. Elegant, international and calm. Nightclubs have an age limit 15, so it was fun to go when I was teenager. The Donau river is super cool in the summer. It’s like mini Miami Beach or something. You can do sports, rent a pedal boat, have delicious cocktails and enjoy life.
  8. Sofia. Friendly, top notch beauty treatments, manicures, pedicures, and cellulite salons. Nightclubs are cool and fun, but don’t go in with too many dudes. Restaurants are nice and peaceful.
  9. London. People stare at Indian people in restaurants. It happened in two different trips with different people. Very expensive prices too, but then again it’s London. It’s worth paying and experiencing.
  10. Zurich. Nightclubs are safe and relaxed, very empty during the week though. Restaurants are very expensive, not for budget traveling. I stayed and cooked at a friend’s house, but for normal solo tourists I don’t recommend. It can be a bit boring because it’s very career oriented city.
  11. Paris. When I went with an Asian female friend to a nightclub, they let us in for free and the male bouncer complimented us. When I tried to go with a black guy, Moroccan guy and a Jewish guy to a club they refused to let us in.
  12. Berlin. Good is that bartenders always serve women first. Bad is racism and my Turkish guy friend didn’t get in to a club because he was Turkish. They told him “we have too many Turkish people in already”. Omg. I also didn’t get in to a club because I was “dressed too fancy”, though I heard from my friends that everyone had tattoos and black clothes in that club. 不
  13. NYC. It’s not for the poor. I had savings and friends when I went there, but nail salon ladies laughed at my discount coupons.不不 I guess Manhattan people don’t use coupons but I went as an unemployed single tourist. No rich man to give me money. 不 Though in my favorite salad bar Chopt Creative Salad in Manhattan, the guy making my salad noticed an older posh lady was trying to skip ahead of me and he got pissed off at her haha. A+ for his customer service and their salads!
  14. Dublin. Even though the Barbie hairdressers all had dirty looks when I walked in lol, they were PROFESSIONAL enough to tell me that the highlights that I asked won’t look good on my dark base and I ended up leaving the salon looking fabulous. 賤儭 Though I did have a bad experience with a hotel. I asked for dry cleaning, paid for it and they gave it to me in a laundry bag still DIRTY claiming it was clean. 不 I got food vouchers as compensation though.
  15. Luxembourg. A chill small country, but also very expensive. I didn’t actually eat out at all except in McDonalds. I bought fresh ready made salads from the supermarket and bakeries had affordable bread and pastries. Not for budget traveling.
The Donau river in Vienna is fun and affordable. Great sports options, holiday fun and chill bars and clubs. I’ve been to Vienna several times. This picture is from 2003 and I rented a pedal boat with my friends.
Quality of Life/ Safety/ Career Opportunities:
Sofia is a friendly city with very affordable apartments. The balconies are huge and you can find big places for less than 400 euros rent in a good and safe neighbourhood. Photo by: Sonia Jain
  1. London. If you can get a job, it’s a great city. Without a job not very affordable. The good thing is that you don’t need any extra languages, but also a lot of competition.
  2. Bangkok. Safe, friendly and clean, weather is good and food is awesome. Not sure about career opportunities for foreigners, but they are friendly towards foreigners.
  3. Sofia. You can have a good quality of life for a very affordable budget. Career opportunities are better for foreigners than for locals. Something you don’t see too often in Europe.
  4. Vienna. Safe, affordable and surprisingly fun! There are big organisations such as IAEA from the UN ( behind me in the pic), so foreigners don’t necessarily need to speak German to get a job.
  5. Lisbon. Very relaxed, friendly and clean city. Many foreigners’ favourite. Never applied for work there though.
  6. Dublin. Depends on the neighbourhood, but my student apartment was very expensive and brand new, next to the new tram line and my college. In the end of the road, however, were drug dealers. It was very scary at times and there were many young hooligans. One of my Asian classmates had kids throw rocks at her. Career opportunities are really great though, many big corporations such as Microsoft and Oracle.
  7. Berlin. Very vibrant city, super cool, fun, affordable and safe, but a bit hostile towards foreigners. A lot of punks with big dogs. It’s better to know German if you look for work.
  8. Paris. I LOVE Paris, but career opportunities are a bit narrow if you don’t speak French.
  9. Zurich. Safe, clean and rich, but you need to speak German, French or Italian for job opportunities. Not a place to live with a small salary.
  10. Luxembourg. Safe, clean and rich, but you need to speak French for better career opportunities. Not a place to live with a small salary.
  11. Malta. Super cold inside the apartments in winter. The apartments are built from some rock material, the moisture builds in and most of them don’t have heating in all rooms. I lived in two different apartments and my bedrooms didn’t have heating! Career opportunities for foreigners are good but a bit limited to online casinos and banks.
  12. NYC. NYC is one of my favourite cities with amazing food, people and fashion, but it’s a SUPER competitive job market. It’s a challenge to look for work there because it’s also very expensive. The customer service jobs don’t pay enough for rent. You need a really good job to survive and then it’s great.
  13. Milan. Friendly, fashionable and chill. Not very cheap either though. Salaries are not very high compared to Finland for example, yet the prices are almost the same.
  14. Barcelona. It’s a safe city, but again, expensive and salaries are small. Never applied for a job there but heard complaints from locals. Many (corporate) jobs require you to speak Spanish.
  15. New Delhi. It’s friendly and amazing for tourists, but for settling down for Westerners it might be a bit much. Women can’t walk around alone late in the evening and there’s generally less freedom than in Europe. Never applied for work there, but Indians are very friendly, open-minded and respectful towards foreigners.

So as a conclusion, the winners for the most thumb ups are Bangkok, Sofia and Vienna! Vienna was actually my favorite city for a long time until I went to Paris and NYC. Sofia is a place I could definitely live in, the weather is great and I blend right in as people are very mixed. Thailand is a favourite for many people. The perfect city is very hard to find and of course everything is more fun with a good job and money. For more fun, avoid going to nightclubs with a bunch of dudes! If you’re a dude, go with five girls and you’re good! 綽

Thailand was great as a solo traveler! It is safe, friendly and affordable. This was my first SOLO trip abroad without any friends, family or colleagues in 2015. People are very friendly and lots of cultural activities to see and do. Be aware of how to dress though. Trashy tourist look with micro shorts and a tank top isn’t acceptable in temples.

The Best Places to Meet People for Long-Term Relationships

COVID-19 has made dating a bit tricky, but the good thing is you get to know your date well before getting serious. (Photo by Gustavo Fring on

Gyms, nightclubs, bus stops, friends or family?? I have collected a list based on my OWN social circle where my married friends or people in long-term relationships found a partner. Some of them are also where I found a boyfriend, though they didn’t last LOL. So I’m emphasizing my highly educated social circle who are married or in a long-term relationship with kids and shit. So I can’t vouch for everyone to find a partner from these same places, but they if you need ideas where to start looking, here are some good options:

  1. Forget about Tinder. I never tried it and never will. Everyone knows it’s only for sex. Check paid dating sites with serious people. Our old family friends from the States have a son who went to Yale University and he found his lawyer wife from
  2. Newspaper ad. The Tinder of the 80s, lol. My parents met through a local newspaper ad when they both lived and worked abroad in the 80s in Israel.
  3. Work. My sister met her husband at work and they are married with two kids now. I also met a cool guy at work once and had a couple of dates with him, but like most cool people, he left Finland for a better job and a more international atmosphere. The key, however, is that after you start dating, go work in different companies. Even an ex-colleague of mine told me my job was previously held by his wife, but she left the company for another job after they started dating.
  4. Friends. I met my first boyfriend through friends when I was sixteen. I asked my friend if he knows any hiphop/breakdancer guys and he invited me to a party where I met my first boyfriend and it’s actually my longest relationship so far, 1,5 years. Lol. I’ve since him met other guys through friends, sadly many of them, again, left Finland. I would suggest though to make friends with the people who you are interested in dating. If you want to date a football player, find football player friends to hang out with or if you want to a date model girl, find guys who date models. Don’t try to befriend female models directly as a guy (too obvious), just find the guys who already hang out with them or their non-model female friends. Two of my high school friends married men they met through our mutual friend group. Also, many of my sister’s friends found husbands through friends.
  5. Family. Don’t underestimate your family. They know you well and what you like and dislike. As long as there’s no hidden hostility, you should at least try to go out with their pick. My dad picked a perfect man for me once, but unfortunately the perfect man didn’t want me. Oh well, next. 不仄賤儭
  6. Hobbies, mutual interests. Just like your friends who you hang out with because you like the same stuff, hobbies, volunteer organisations and charities are great places to meet like-minded people. My friend found her boyfriend from a language class. This is also a great way of meeting international people and foreigners if local guys aren’t your thing. I don’t recommend going to talk to a woman at a gym though. It’s a bit of a cliche and I find it disturbing, juvenile and awkward. It happened to me twice and obviously it didn’t go anywhere. It’s a different thing if you approach the woman/ man OUTSIDE of your gym, like in a cafe nearby etc., but most people do not like to be disturbed while looking like crap and working out.
  7. High school, college, university. My sister’s husband’s sister found her doctor husband from medical school. Several of my old classmates started dating in college and ended marrying each other. Though none of my old classmates invited me to their wedding. 不 My cousin in India married her classmate from medical school and they are both dentists now. My sister from my American host family in Minnesota married our high school classmate a few years later after I had finished my exchange-student year there.
  8. Exchange student semester/ year abroad. Two of my business college friends found love in Paris. One got married with kids and the other one I’m not sure, she lost contact with me. I wasn’t so lucky in my study abroad in Paris, but did meet a very cool French man more than ten years ago in my exchange semester in Berlin. It didn’t develop to anything long-term, but we’re still Facebook friends.

I hope this helps and if you have more places where you met love, I would love to hear them! Stay safe and healthy everyone!