Sipping Vodka Won’t Help You Find a Quality Partner

Alcohol is not the key to happiness. No matter what some people claim. πŸ˜‰ It attracts garbage people. Quality women and men want a stable spouse. I’m 35 years old now and I’ve realized after several dating horror stories that being drunk at a nightclub attracts exactly what you can expect from being drunk at a nightclub. πŸ˜† For my misfortune, I also grew up in a country where heavy drinking is part of the culture.

In your 20s it’s fun, going out, getting drinks and socializing with good-looking party people. When you hit 30, however, you want to get serious. I decided that this sipping vodka here and there thing won’t get me anywhere else than on a lame coffee date with a loser.🀣

Here’s a quick list of why alcohol isn’t necessarily the key to a “happily ever after” (even though some Hollywood movies romanticize drunken encounters that lead to marriage):

  1. Alcohol doesn’t give you more confidence. Some women and men think that drinking a few glasses of wine will gain you confidence to approach that hot crush, but what happens if that hot crush hates alcohol? πŸ˜„ Also if you’re too shy to approach people sober, what are you going to do? Be drunk every time you meet your crush? πŸ˜…
  2. Drinking doesn’t attract Harvard people. I will never forget the disappointment on a Harvard- educated man’s face (who ended up in Finland for a work trip for a few months), when he saw me drinking cocktails and wine.πŸ˜– The first time we met, I drank non-alcoholic drinks. So he had high hopes for a quality lady but apparently a few drinks ruined it for me. Oh well. πŸ˜–
  3. Sipping vodka attracts LOSERS! From my experience, drinking attracts the biggest party animals, cheaters, liars, players, man-children and alcoholic losers. πŸ˜‚ Not the best pool of men (or women) to find a stable spouse from. πŸ˜…
  4. You might not remember who you spoke to when you were drunk. So how do you expect to marry that man/ woman one day who you don’t even remember how you met. πŸ˜„
  5. Avoid people who don’t take a NO for an answer for drinking. My Finnish college friend invited me to his party and the only way they would stop pressuring me into drinking was when I told them I came by car. If I didn’t, simply “I’m not in the mood for vodka” wouldn’t have been acceptable answer for these people. Same thing happened in a Finnish tech company I worked for. At company dinner, everyone was drinking vodka shots as aperatives and I refused to drink one. One woman from the Sales department got pissed off and said “Is this really the time to become an absolutist?!” LOL. πŸ˜… I have moved on from that friend circle AND that crazy company. I decided it’s better to spend time alone than with the wrong people. Even if it means scrapping for pennies for food and sitting home alone with my cats on a sexy Saturday night. πŸ˜‚ πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  6. Don’t drink to reduce anxiety. The Coronavirus pandemic has resulted in many people getting the urge to drink to pass time, help them relax and to reduce anxiety. It’s only a temporary relief though, so it’s better to exercise and talk to supportive friends. If you don’t have supportive friends, talk to your cats, dogs, kids or randoms online.
  7. Men who drink are more prone to domestic violence. In 2006, the World Health Organization published a report on the link between alcohol and domestic violence. “Strong links have been found between alcohol use and the occurrence of intimate partner violence in many countries. Evidence suggests that alcohol use increases the occurrence and severity of domestic violence.” (Source: https://www.who.int/violence_injury_prevention/violence/world_report/factsheets/fs_intimate.pdf). So even if you go out drinking together with your man and have the time of your life, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will always be fun if alcohol stays in the picture. Women can also have alcohol problems though they are less likely to become violent. They tend to become depressed and irritable which isn’t good for a relationship either.

I decided to quit alcohol when I was sipping wine and vodka alone at home during Coronavirus lockdown and realized that I really need to find healthier ways to manage my stress and loneliness so I don’t have to sit at home alone in the future anymore! πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜… Moving to a new country would help in many ways, but in the mean while, if you have any stories related to alcohol, would love to hear them! Send me an email or a message from Contact page.

Sipping cocktails with your friends can be fun, but if you want to attract a quality man or a woman to start a family with, the “drunk you” won’t attract them. Photo: Sonia Jain

If You Love Your Brands Like I do, You Can Still Buy Them With a Small Budget

Even if you can’t live without your Fila, Nike, Michael Kors, Gucci stuff, there are ways to buy them without paying a full price. No, I don’t mean steal them or buy stolen stuff, but sales, second-hands from your friend circle, recycling and so on.

I have always sold my brand bags when I no longer like them and use that money to buy a new bag. This is a great tactic because you don’t waste your bags or money. So here’s my quick list for buying quality brands but paying less:

  1. Sales. This is obviously a no-brainer for everyone. Just make sure to time your shopping perfectly to get the maximum price deduction. If you can wait, the prices decrease towards the end of the sale.
  2. Brand outlets. These are gems. They often sell last season products, but really if you don’t work for Vogue, who cares?
  3. Buy online. You can save a ton of money by buying online. International shipping is often free of charge too, you just have to find the right stores that ship to your country. Make sure to do your research on international sizes though.
  4. Buy when you’re on holidays (not fake stuff though). Obviously now is not the time for international traveling, but when the borders open up again and tourism is back on track, don’t waste your opportunity for tax-free shopping. Many countries offer this and the ones that don’t might still have cheaper clothes than your home country, because of better exchange rates.
  5. Recycling. Second-hand stores and flea markets are a millennial’s dream. You can get money for your old stuff AND buy new stuff for crazy cheap prices.
  6. Friend circle. Depends who your friends are of course, lol, but this is a good way to get the style you like for a reasonable price and you’ll match your friends. πŸ™‚
  7. Cheap sports stores. Many budget sports stores have opened up to compete with the expensive sports stores. They are very good places to find quality brands for less money.
  8. Directly from the brand. Brands make their own pricing, so when they want to get rid off their last season stuff, they’ll sell their own stuff SUPER cheap. Sign up for your favourite brands’ newsletters and get the info on sales before others!
  9. Cheap electronics stores. There are always cheaper electronics stores that have the exact same stuff than luxury department stores.
  10. Budget stores. Brand shampoos can be 30% cheaper than in a normal store! It’s exactly the same stuff too.

So even when you’re living on a tight budget, you don’t have to look like a beggar. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’°πŸ‘

You can buy quality brands with a small budget too. Photo: Sonia Jain

Affordable Beauty Rituals For Men and Women

I’ve experimented quite a bit with different beauty treatments. Well that was when I had a job and money. Lately, I’ve just settled for home remedies and exercising. πŸ˜„ They can however, go along way when you’re on a budget.

Here’s a list of all the affordable beauty treatments I’ve tried and what works and what doesn’t:

  1. Wax hair removal. Doesn’t work on sensitive skin. At least at home, didn’t try at the salon. I got a bad rash and it left me ingrown hair.
  2. Sugar hair removal. Works. Tried at the salon to remove hair from my upper lip.
  3. Homemade scrubs. Works. Coffee scrub for your body is cool because it’s cheap and effective. Though if you have sensitive skin you should mix in some coconut oil etc. You can also use avocado as a facial to purify your skin on your face.
  4. Hairsalon vs. home dye. Depends. I tried highlights at home, literally NEVER worked out.πŸ˜† Highlights at the salon works. (If you pick a good hair stylist) If you have an even hair color, such as black, it’s super easy to dye the roots yourself. Just make sure your skin tone and hair colour compliment each other. Nothing looks tackier than bleach blonde hair on very dark skin and pitch black hair on super pale skin. As a general rule, warm tones for brown skin, cold tones for light skin. I prefer for example blonde-toffee color highlights. In my opinion, unnatural bright red doesn’t look good on ANYONE ever.
  5. Eye creams for dark under eyes. Doesn’t work. I tried like twenty different ones from 3€- 100€ ($3,40- $112). The 100€ ($112) does NOT work. I bought it when I had a full-time job and a regular salary. It was purely marketing and waste of money unfortunately. Dark under eyes are inherited, so depends on your genes and ethnicity. Traditional sleep deprivation is different than my dark under eyes. Some racist men have also made it their mission to make sure I know I have the eye bags and YES, I fucking know.
  6. Teeth whitening. Works. 7,5% or 9,5% Day White ACP Hydrogen Peroxide for 10-20min twice per day for a week at home rather than at the dentist, because if you have sensitive teeth, it will hurt like hell at the dentist. I tried and the problem for my teeth is that they use too strong Hydrogen Peroxide because they need the results in one hour. My dentist recommended me the home kit because I told him my teeth are super sensitive. He also said whitening toothpastes are a marketing trick and damage your teeth. The dentist makes a custom mould for your teeth and you buy the whitening gel from your dentist or online, such as dentist.net.
  7. Hair and nail growth supplements. Depends. I bought some from a pharmacist in Paris and they worked like magic! I guess it depends on your country’s regulations, what stuff is allowed and what is banned.
  8. Coconut oil. Works. It’s usually used as skin moisturiser. The only downside is that you smell like coconuts.😝 Maybe better not to use before going to the office.
  9. Avocado oil. Works. I bought it from a nail salon. It strengthens fragile nails.
  10. Castor oil. Doesn’t work. I used it for growing my eyebrows and eyelashes for more than a year. I didn’t really see any visible results in my eyebrows, though my eyelashes did get thicker.
  11. Argan oil. Works. This oil is used for dry or damaged hair. It worked for my hair because I used to have natural blonde highlights. Though my hair is naturally TOO oily and that is why I preferred highlights to dry my hair a little bit so I didn’t have to wash it everyday.
  12. Vicco Indian cream. Works. This cream works like magic for pimples and red spots. It’s available in Asian stores in Europe or if you go to India, it costs only one euro ($1,20) there.
  13. Vitamin supplements. Depends. I didn’t notice any difference when I took vitamin supplements and vitamin drinks. However, I haven’t tried many of them and there MANY. When I lived in NYC for a couple months, my roommate was a model and she recommended me vitamins for pregnant women even if you’re not pregnant. She told me they have more nutritions than normal vitamin supplements. Haven’t tried them yet though.
  14. Finnish sauna. Works. You sweat off toxins, it clear out your skin and you come out relaxed! Finnish sauna is a wooden sauna usually kept at 80 Celsius degrees. I like to sit alone for an hour. I used to go once a week when I lived in an apartment that had one.
  15. Drink two litres of water everyday. Works. Some people don’t like the taste of water, so you can drink sparkling water, add lemon/ lime juice or orange pieces, strawberries or add some store bought flavor. Water clears your skin and keeps you hydrated. Also helps for cellulite.
  16. Fresh fruit and vegetables. Works. For example just eating half a grapefruit has your daily intake of vitamin C. 🍎🍊
  17. Gave up sugar for eight months. Works. It worked miracles on cellulite, but it comes back once you stop your sugar-free diet. Sugar is unfortunately my weak spot, because I’m under constant stress as an unemployed single woman.😫
  18. Followed mostly a plant-based diet. Depends. You are what you eat. I tried to become a vegan, but currently follow a dairy-free pescatarian diet. I eat tofu, fresh spinach, rice and potatoes.
  19. Oily fish. Depends. Even though I try to eat vegan food most of the time, oily fish, such as salmon is an excellent source of protein, B vitamins and Omega-3 fatty acids.
  20. Gave up alcohol. This is a very new thing to me (even though I had a couple of 8-month periods without alcohol). There is an endless list of the harmful effects of alcohol for your body and mind. I used to think a few glasses of wine are healthy and vodka helps purify toxins in your body. I have changed my mind now. Let’s see how the results will be by the end of the year. I will keep you updated. πŸ˜‰
Eating healthy and exercising go A LONG way. Eat your veggies EVERY DAY and have fish once per week. Add some nice make-up, stylish hair and trendy clothes and you’re good to go!πŸ˜‰πŸ’‹ Emphasize your features that bring you confidence. πŸ™Œ Photo: Sonia Jain

Job Hunting Glamorously

If you’re unemployed, you know how stressful the situation is. If you are also single, you’ve also probably experienced the total disinterest in dating and meeting new people. When you focus on how to earn a buck for food, you’re not really interested in finding a man to have a bunch of screaming babies with.🀣 Also, the Coronavirus situation has disrupted the global job market. The ones who have now suffered the most in this situation are people like me, freelancers, job-seekers and singles. I simply have no income outlets at the moment and it’s a sad reality of our selfish discriminatory society.

Job hunting requires you to dress well, look representable, be nice, be diplomatic and know your stuff. So to keep a cool head and not look like a homeless hobo, you need to learn how to manage your stuff. Here are some things I have done in the past SEVEN years in Finland while looking for a full-time job worth my Master’s Degree in International Business Management:

  1. Kept a professional wardrobe. You never know when your next job interview is or if someone will hire you from abroad, so you need to have some business clothes ready and in hand. You can get designer clothes on sale from online stores, such as Farfetch. Zara and Mango are great too if you apply to a tech company where nobody understands fashion and you’re BROKE AF like me.πŸ˜†
  2. Learned to manage stress by MYSELF. I tried online therapy, talked to some mental health professionals and they didn’t help me AT ALL. It was the exact opposite, I felt more miserable after talking to these judgemental unempathetic “professionals”. Exercising, drinking wine, petting my cats and talking to old people have helped me. Old people have manners and values that under 65 year olds simply don’t have. They grew up in the generation of surviving, so they don’t whine about stupid shit.
  3. You need your electronics. Buy second hand if needed or pay monthly installments. Of course, you need a phone for calls, a laptop for modifying your CV (you can check Adobe Office packages for students if you are eligable or buy a normal package) and an affordable Internet plan. For example, I have a cheap phone plan with Internet instead of having Wifi in my apartment, so you can do your job hunting anywhere at anytime and call abroad etc.
  4. Pay your bills on time so you don’t get a mark on your credit record. Negotiate with your bank if you need to. Some employers will check this stuff.
  5. Exercise regularly. You won’t feel like drinking every night or binge eating when you maintain an exercise routine that you follow every week. When you know you have to do heavy exercise in the morning, you will not drink, smoke or do anything unhealthy the night before. Also it’s very important to keep a cool head and helps cope with continuous years and years long stress. Your energy levels will be high too and employers will appreciate high energy people.
  6. Networking, networking and networking! I have 500+ Linkedin connections and I have met almost all of them. There’s a few randoms from Twitter but the key for networking is obviously to meet people in person. Networking could lead to a job, so take it seriously.
  7. Be on time for meetings. Any meetings for that matter, doesn’t have to be a job interview.
  8. Tried getting a job abroad. In Europe there are channels, such as EURES, unemployment offices, workers’ unions and international headhunters who get paid to find you a job abroad. Be prepared to do low skilled work when you first move abroad and then find something worth your skills.
  9. Kept my skills up to date. Google has free online courses, check your unemployment office for free short courses, lear how to code, build a website, or paint a house etc. Whatever skill you want to improve, find FREE courses to do it.
  10. Study a new profession is the advice I simply DESPISE. Who has money and time to study 3,5 – 6 years for a new profession when you need to eat and breath too?πŸ˜† Not to mention try to look representable for possible job interviews. Save yourself the time and go give your CRAP advice to someone else. I think TWO business degrees are more than enough, so focus your advice on people with ZERO education. They seem to occupy the job market in the tech field anyways. πŸ˜ƒ
  11. Volunteered for different organizations. They might have paid job opportunities too.
  12. People hire who they like. Remember, a-holes hire a-holes. So if you didn’t get that job, that 50th job or that 150th job you applied to, you know why.πŸ˜„ Apply to a different field, continent, country and change your references.
Look professional when you attend job interviews, networking events or meet new people. This whole outfit is from two brand outlet stores in New York City (in 2014) and every item was less than $150. Classic pieces like these will last for years. πŸ‘—

Happy Single Woman

After a quick Google search, I found out that there are other single women blogging about their lives too. Bella De Paulo is a Harvard-educated single woman from California and she talks about the positive aspects of being single on her website and has written books about the topic as well. She has also listed resources for “single people who are not whining about being single” and I asked her to feature my blog on her list, http://www.belladepaulo.com/2018/02/list-blogs-single-life/. πŸ˜„

Even though I’m not super happy about being single in Finland (can’t wait to leave!), here’s anyways my list of the positive aspects of my single life with a twist of sarcasmπŸ˜‰:

  1. You don’t have to worry about being cheated on. πŸ’”
  2. You don’t have to shave your legs everyday.
  3. You don’t have to look representable 24/7.
  4. You can poop in peace without worrying your man will smell it. πŸ’©
  5. You don’t have to worry about pointless gossip or why your man was talking to some random woman in a nightclub.
  6. You don’t have to worry about jealous (and racist) people who literally break up relationships for “fun” or to “save the white race”. LOOLZZ. πŸ˜†
  7. You can super quickly and easily move to a new country when you don’t have any “baggage” like a husband or a kid. πŸ˜‚ βœˆοΈπŸ—Ί
  8. You can flirt with hot guys all you want and go to nightclubs, parties and events and be the fun and flirty you without having to worry about your man getting jealous. πŸ˜„πŸ’ƒπŸ½
  9. You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or using birth control pills that make you a total raging psycho. (Yes, I tried them once. Hormone pills are not my thing.)
  10. You can cook your healthy vegetarian/ vegan food without stressing what your partner will eat and you don’t need to cook his nasty meat for him. πŸ₯•πŸ₯¦
  11. You can have as many cats as you like. 😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺
  12. You can eat cake, ice-cream, chocolate and biscuits as MUCH as you like without having to worry about getting fat since nobody will see your body anyway. 🀣🀣🍦🧁🍰🍩🍫
  13. You can drink wine and vodka everyday without having to worry about neglecting your child or forgetting to cook for your husband. 🍷🍷🍷🍸🍸
  14. You can spend your extra money (after bills) on make-up, shoes and dresses instead of baby diapers and birthday gifts for your husband. πŸ‘ πŸ‘—πŸ’„
  15. You don’t have to stress about doing stuff in bed that your man demands you to do.
  16. You can get away with saying stupid shit by simply saying you’re a single woman, aka “insane” in many cultures. So what do I know, I’m just a “foul-mouthed crazy single woman, so STFU!” πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  17. You can join 20 dating sites and flirt and talk with men all over the world and pick your favorites. You don’t even need to meet them, but friendly online conversations will be refreshing and boost your self-esteem. πŸ’ƒπŸ½
  18. You can spend your time and money on getting an education, a Bachelor’s, Master’s or a PhD degree instead of getting a boob job, because men will anyway choose boobs over brains. πŸ˜„You also don’t have to renew your college degree every 10-20 years like breast implants require. You can then read your knowledge out loud to your cats on a sexy Saturday night at home. πŸ€“πŸ“š
  19. You don’t have to worry about your emotions, because single people don’t need to be “vulnerable” to anyone. You can just continue to be an ice cold bitch. Lolz.
  20. You don’t have to worry about ever being dumped because you are married to yourself and if you need a cuddling buddy, your cats will love you to the moon and back. 🐱❀️
The good thing about being single is that you can get drunk everyday and not have to worry about neglecting your kids and feeding your husband. πŸ˜›πŸΈπŸ·πŸ‘πŸΌ

White Guys Stop Asking Mixed Race Women Out

I think I need to explain to white guys, that mixed race women are NOT white. We are 50 percent white.πŸ˜„ I may look white from the outside, but every white guy I’ve ever dated always seems equally surprised about my non-white features, such as darker pigmentation spots on my skin, dark under eyes and stretch marks. πŸ˜„ We all have our unique features from our heritage. I’m mixed with Indian and white.

Some men start gossiping when they find flaws in you. Some of these people seem to be fixated about my dark under eyes and other visible “flaws”. LOL.πŸ˜† Anyhow…Stop assuming that a young woman who lives in Finland will behave like a Finn, likes local food and all local things like ice hockey. 😫Mixed race people come from a MIXED cultural heritage, so obviously we also behave like that. ☺️So here are my thoughts about dating mixed race women:

  1. Don’t be a RACIST. πŸ˜‚ Just because you go out with an Indian-white mixed lady, doesn’t mean you can be racist towards black people or Chinese etc. Mixed people are usually very international and liberal and have a super international friend circle. So even if you don’t see her hanging out with Japanese people or Pakistanis, it doesn’t mean you can be racist towards them.
  2. Stop comparing your mixed race date to white women or other non-mixed people. We are mixed and we look mixed and you can’t change us, so either deal with it or find some other woman. 😊
  3. Stop finding “flaws” or be surprised that your mixed race date doesn’t have white features or has some ethnic features you don’t like. AGAIN, mixed people are NOT white and they are not the other race either. πŸ˜€ If you want to be sure, you can always ask about the features you’re curious about, BEFORE you get serious so there won’t be any “unpleasant” surprises. πŸ˜†
  4. Don’t freeze and sit like a mushroom when you meet her non-white parent. πŸ˜‚ If you are going to date a mixed race woman, you need to learn how to talk to ALL races. Or at least minimum the races of her parents. πŸ˜„ If you look at her parents arrogantly, then obviously it won’t work out in the long- term. Same goes for non-white guys talking to my white parent/ relatives. ☺️
  5. Be understanding of her background. She might have hidden traumas from experiencing racism at a very young age, something you have never HAD to experience. So even if you can’t relate to her traumas, try to be empathetic instead of getting angry or disappointed. She is trying her best and needs support and not constant judgement for being blunt about her traumas or hatred towards racist people. She is allowed to hate racism and be public about it. πŸ—£
  6. Growing up in two cultures makes mixed race people very adaptable and we try to pick the best features from each culture. So don’t be surprised if she loves sauna AND Indian food. πŸ˜ƒ Don’t assume things either. Just because she’s mixed with some “stereotypical” culture, doesn’t mean she is one. Nobody should actually. Just find out for yourself before making ANY assumptions and having any expectations.
  7. Do NOT try to change her to become a 100% something or 100% something else. If you can’t accept her mixed background, her mixed cultural habits and mixed cooking, then don’t even try to date her.
  8. Don’t accuse her of being racist towards white people! If she’s half white, chances are she’s NOT racist towards white people. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ She might have been bullied by white racists A LOT, but it still doesn’t mean she hates her own heritage and relatives and ALL white people. She is allowed to hate racists though and you can’t tell her not to. 😝
  9. Be understanding about her need to travel and live in other countries and settling in some INTERNATIONAL city. She will NOT be happy in a tiny white town in the middle of nowhere or some tiny crap city that is NOWHERE even close to the international atmosphere of NYC, London or Paris. If you can’t understand what she wants in life then don’t try to force her to live somewhere she doesn’t want to be. She will only get depressed and then it’s your fault! The fact that so many men in Finland simply don’t care that I do NOT want to live here is a clear indication how insensitive they are to mixed race women’s feelings. FAIL. ✈️
  10. If you are not an international person or don’t have an international friend circle, don’t travel much or never lived abroad, then trust me, it won’t work out with a mixed race woman. International people prefer other international people, so if you are a hillbilly find another hillbilly. If you can’t find one, ask the mixed race woman to find you one. πŸ˜‰ πŸ‘πŸΌ

Of course, not all men are ill-mannered gossips though. I think it’s just the men who have been listening to douchebags for dating advice. Though some sweet guys have made me feel good about my flaws and these are the gems you need to find in your life. Unfortunately, the older you get, the more difficult it gets to find these gems. πŸ™ I live in a country where there are NONE of these gems. So hopefully I FINALLY get the chance to move to a big international city soon before I’m too old to have babies. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Mixed race relationships won’t work if you’re a racist. πŸ˜πŸ˜‰ (or live in a racist country.) Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Control Your Urge to Slap Annoying People in the Face

I admit, I’m not a Zen master. I have a quick temper and my bad temperament has reached whole new levels after being continuously and consistently bullied by a big group of a-hole LOSERS. Something about bullies, racists and douchebags that makes me blood boil and head explode. 🀯Bullies seem to have a very narcissistic worldview. They think its their right as obnoxious people to destroy perfectly happy content, young and smart (and not to mention helpful volunteer) women’s lives. They also think their targets are very jealous of them and this is how they justify their bullying/ provoking/ harassment/ constant need to prove themselves to their target and when you react, you are “jealous, crazy, aggressive”. LOL, bitch please…In reality you just simply don’t give a flying fuck and want to be left alone. πŸ˜†πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Even a rich hot educated man/ woman can be a bully. Their blood thirst for bullying can be even worse because too much money has blurred their brain functions. So it doesn’t necessarily mean that the normal definition of a “loser” is always the bully. Though, what I have noticed and experienced is that these pathetic rich bitches/ a-holes will use these “traditional losers” to do the dirty work for them. It’s kinda like hiring a hitman. So when the hitman goes to jail, so will the person who hired the hitman. πŸ˜†

I have been provoked in the most disgusting, under the belt, low class tactics. You really need nerves of STEEL to have managed what I have managed by MYSELF. You can’t change an abnormal bully brain, the only rational thing you can do is to leave the situation.

So how HAVE I actually managed to control my urge to slap annoying people? Here is a short list of how I have managed to control myself while facing continous abusive bullying:

  1. Well I’m not a violent psycho for one. πŸ˜†
  2. Mental strength and being around racist and jealous mannerless people since I was a kid have really made my skin thick as an elephant and strong as steel. Nothing makes you ignore stupid shit better than being called the n-word, a gypsy, a boat refugee, and being spat in the face when you’re fucking 10 years old. πŸ‘πŸΌ (also why I’ll NEVER have kids in Finland.)
  3. Music helps to block annoying people’s whining. 🎢
  4. As a general thumb rule, if the person is worthless to you, then why do you even give a flying fuck what that person thinks of you. πŸ—£
  5. Writing and rage tweeting help process negative emotions. Sometimes mean people really get to me, because they have no limit to how low they can go.
  6. Doing yoga. πŸ™πŸΌ
  7. Some people constantly interrupt you when you’re trying to talk to someone else, make vicious remarks or just have that annoying way of asking “What, can you repeat that?!!” about 5 TIMES in a row, it’s irritating. So sometimes you just have to tell them directly to leave you alone. These negative attention seekers are usually harmless, so you can just try to be nice about it. If it doesn’t work, talk to them in their own language. (Since sometimes it’s the only language they understand. Sigh. πŸ™„)
  8. The key to mastering your emotions is to realize the fact that these type of low level trash people who provoke, provoke and provoke for YEARS until they finally get you to snap is that they are jealous. They can’t manage their own emotions even for five fucking minutes, so obviously semi- zen masters like me, are a HUGE threat to them. Especially if they’re racist and think you’re subhuman like in my case in Finland.
  9. Don’t fall for the crocodile tears. I have had so many people point fingers at me as the “bad, angry SINGLE woman” and they have adopted the “rescue me innocent mom/ dad” thing. This show is a pathetic shit show and the only people it will hurt in the end are their own children, family members or friends that they use as puppets just to prove a point how “evil” single childless Sonia is. So since I know their tactics, I try to control myself when they deliberately provoke me to show how “aggressive” I am. They should probably find a more interesting job or take a vacation or get a new wife/ husband and leave me the fuck alone, because nothing makes me NOT want to have children more is this BULLYING.πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸΌ
  10. Misogynists can also provoke women and then simply brand them “crazy”. Calling women crazy or broken are cheap tactics abusive men use to control their wives/ employees/ girlfriends. Don’t fall for their trap and get angry, but make sure to find evidence how insane those men really are. Sometimes, you don’t even need to lift a finger to do shit because most misogynists fall for their own trap in the end. Just wait for it. For example, my ex-boss always blamed women for everything and after all the evidence I collected against him, the CEO finally opened his eyes and believed me and not that man’s outrageous lies. πŸ˜‚
  11. When someone always brags and tries to prove themselves to others, it’s a sign of weakness and low self-esteem. It’s easy to spot this and the simple way is just to smile it off. πŸ™ƒ You could also say “You don’t have to prove yourself to me, I believe you are happy without the constant need for my validation dear.” β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸΌ
  12. People who are envious of you always think YOU are envious of them. Their car, their blonde hair, job, kids, money, spouse etc. whatever they can come up with when in reality they are jealous of your confidence and mental strength, because they themselves are insecure and try to hide it with bullshitting. Truly confident people don’t need to prove themselves and accuse single people of jealousy. This is just a cheap tactic of trying to validate their own low self-esteem when a “sad single woman” is “jealous”. Try to come up with something more original than accusing single people of jealousy. πŸ˜…
  13. Sometimes annoying bullies will claim that it’s “tough love” and you need to become “stronger”, grow a “thicker skin” when they simply torment and isolate you for fun. This is not ok and it’s challenging without a lawyer, so when the opportunity rises, sue them. Bullying is NEVER ok and it does NOT make you stronger. Never believe the bullies and their stupid ass crap excuses.
  14. If someone provokes you, scream, don’t hit. πŸ˜‚ Unless you hit for self-defense. (Though I believe in Finland there are no self-defense laws) Physical violence is a crime, but if you say “fuck you” to someone who deliberately provoked you, you’re not breaking the law. Swearing in your mind is also a good tactic. Also if you must, use words that are funny not illegal (in defamation standards. Especially racists are SUPER sensitive of being called racist and have made it illegal in Finland now LOOOL🀣). Imagine some tough guy suing you because you called him “micropenis”. Even if he would win the case, he would need to explain to his friends why he sued you. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜Ž
  15. Annoying someone is different than pushing someone. I have had crazy ass women “accidentally” bump into me in supermarkets and at work. AGAIN, these are cheap trash tactics to get a reaction from you and point fingers at you. Just remember, if they push/ touch you FIRST, you are reacting as self-defense. So better just stop right there pathetic bullies and get yourself a new hobby. πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸΌ
When bullies deliberately provoke you, manage your emotions with different stress relief factors. Also keep in mind, they’re worthless and find you a threat. πŸ™πŸΌ Photo: Sonia Jain

Are Some Women Really Too Emotional and Would Men Prefer Someone Dead Inside Instead?

I’ve been called “too emotional” by many men. So the question is, would those men prefer a dead inside woman who doesn’t give a flying fuck about them instead? πŸ˜‚ Take the money, sex and jewellery but if the man is lying home dead from a flu or some other shit, the “too emotional” woman would probably bring him soup. If men don’t like that and prefer someone who says “I don’t give a fuck about your flu, call me when you’re healthy again so you can buy me shoes” then I guess I’m too emotional and a bad person. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€£ I bet the men who cheat/ mock/ dump women who are “too emotional and needy” will regret it later in life though… πŸ˜‚

Many men HAVE actually regretted later in life the way they treated me and how they didn’t appreciate my sensitivity. Tough shit.πŸ˜‚ Never let people who treated you like crap back into your life. Let them rotten in hell with a vicious woman who’s a perfect match for them.πŸ˜† Here are MY opinions (you don’t have to agree with me) of what are normal healthy emotions and sensitivity vs. being abnormally needy and excessively demanding behavior. πŸ’–Just to be clear, I have NOT done any of the abnormal things on my list LOLπŸ˜…, but I have been accused of being too needy for all the normal things I have done on my list (by men who have done some of the abnormal things on my listπŸ˜….) πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ₯΄

Normal:

  1. Texting/ calling everyday. πŸ’•
  2. Being Facebook friends with your new friend/ date/ crush/ partner. If you have nothing to hide, then it should be fine to be friends on Facebook.
  3. Offering to come over to his/ her house if he/ she is feeling sick/ tired/ bored/ depressed/ lonely and spend time with the person, e.g. cooking, talking, watching TV etc.
  4. Expecting more from the relationship after you have been seeing each for a couple weeks. It’s perfectly normal to move on to the next step in a relationship, such as moving in together.
  5. Asking to go on a holiday together after you feel comfortable with each other e.g. after one month of dating. (and the man should pay for it.) ✈️
  6. Having an argument about bad communication and how the man/ woman totally lacks emotional awareness and disrespects the woman’s/ man’s emotions.
  7. Baking a cake/ cupcakes with cute decoration/ heart shaped sprinkles. πŸŽ‚
  8. Meeting the parents after you have agreed to a meeting together (after a few dates etc., depending what you agree TOGETHER.)
  9. Asking for honesty, open communication and what the other person wants from the relationship.
  10. Asking to join the man/ woman to an event, to a party with his friends or another social gathering with his/ her social network. πŸ₯³

Abnormal:

  1. Texting/ calling 100 times a day. Twenty messages is max per day in my opinion.
  2. Stalking his/ her friends (or exes!) on Facebook and contacting them. (After I broke up with one guy once, his ex contacted my fucking DAD via Facebook. Creepy lunatic.)
  3. Offering to come over to his/ her house and immediately EXPECT to sleep with your date. Even after several dates, it categorizes the relationship into a cheap non-serious one.
  4. Expecting to get engaged/ married after you have met five times. 😁
  5. Asking for the man/ woman to buy you a car. πŸš™
  6. Breaking up because the woman/ man wanted to clear the air about bad communication.
  7. Baking a wedding cake. πŸ˜‚
  8. Dragging your parents without informing the other person to your private date.
  9. Demanding the other person to show his/ her texts/ emails/ social media message or install spyware on his/ her phone! Relationships should NOT be this complicated.
  10. Appearing DELIBERATELY without warning to a social gathering of his/ her social network. This might come across as too creepy. 😨 Especially in the early stages of dating. Though I once went by ACCIDENT to the same salsa party a man I was seeing was, because I was invited by another friend and I had no clue the guy would be there. πŸ˜‚ His face was PRICELESS when he saw me there ahaha.

Not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea and it’s ok. Sensitive people tend to like other sensitive people but we sometimes get curious of the “bad boys” too and it’s ok. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’–

I’m a sensitive woman and I prefer it instead of being dead inside. πŸ˜‚πŸ’–πŸ‘πŸΌ Photo: Sonia Jain

The Age Old Question, Can Women and Men Just Be Friends?

This is an age old question that has people divided. Can heterosexual men and women be just friends? I have seen many interviews, read articles and discussed with both men and women about this topic. The answer seems to be clearly divided. Many men think they can’t and women think they can. πŸ˜ƒπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

What about work colleagues, your neighbor, landlord, lawyer, gardener. πŸ˜„ Are you supposed to avoid EVERYONE once you are in a committed relationship? I have been single almost my entire life and most of my friends have been men, simply because so many women find me annoying. 🀣 For some reason, the friendships haven’t developed into relationships, so my theory from my personal experience is that you can be a normal, healthy heterosexual woman and have a platonic friendship with men. Probably the most crucial question is, are you attracted to the person and if you are, would it be enough to cheat (if you have a partner) or start a relationship? If you are both attractive people, is there a “spark” between you two? Does the other person make you feel butterflies in your stomach or more like talking to your parents? (which is great for a friendship, because you feel safe and loved with your parents, but wouldn’t date them.) From my experience, even in the most hottest male Gods, there can be something in their personality that makes them undatable (e.g. football players are Gods, but their lifestyle and interests are totally different than mine, so they usually end up with hot models who like to settle at a young age) or absolutely repulsive to date. You can stay friends but not date. I had a French guy as a friend and he didn’t seem to understand why his relationships failed. He used to make vicious (and slightly racist πŸ™„πŸ˜²) remarks, such as “Michelle Obama is ugly” and therefore I considered him more like gossiping female friend than a real man ahaha. πŸ˜†

A crucial thing is also if the female friends and male friends believe in sisterhood (or girl code) and the bro code. Women who believe in sisterhood believe that you don’t go stealing no other bitches men, no matter what ok? πŸ˜‚πŸ™‹πŸ½β€β™€οΈThe bro code follows similar ethical code, “bros before hoes” and if the man thinks your friend’s girlfriend is hot, his belief in the ethical code prohibits him from acting on his desire and stealing his friend’s girlfriend. These type of people make the BEST and the most LOYAL friends, because you know you can trust them when you do find a committed partner. In my opinion, I have been totally underrated for my loyalty towards the sisterhood code from my female peers and it’s sad as fuck.😭 (unlike my blonde female EX- friend who flirted and tried to STEAL a man I was seeing when I went to get drinks! Eventually both me and her ended up alone and the man married a Thai woman. Fucking drama. 😫A perfect example how arrogant some women are, they think they are so hot they can steal other women’s men but failed in this case. πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌ)

Then there are those guys that you have known FOREVER and always hang out with in weird places, bump into in random places etc.. They can be super hot and sweet like my friend Jere in the pic below (who is the perfect example of a man who knows men and women can be just friends), but then you also just have totally separate lifestyles, schedules, travel interests, friends, opinions in which country to settle in and dating lives. πŸ˜•Jere has always had the most gorgeous female friends and girlfriends because he works in PR, so he is always surrounded by women. In this profession, you also learn how to control yourself and understand how to be professional. PR is full of drop dead gorgeous women, young models and social and happy people, so if you didn’t have self control and an understanding that work is work, friends are friends and dating is dating, it would be impossible to work in PR. Same goes for professional photographers. I have met a few and one is already married with kids. He is friends with gorgeous models, but also understands that he is in a committed relationship and work and friends are separate and their relationship has the most key ingredient for any relationship: TRUST. Even if ALL your friends are 80 year old grandmas and grandpas, without trust, your partner will find some crazy ass reason to isolate you from your friends. (So dump that psycho asap) For example, I once went on a date with a spoiled rich brat man and one time he found out (no idea how) I had been on the fucking phone TALKING with my male model friend. So then he trash talked me to everyone as an “untrustworthy hoe”. πŸ€£πŸ™„He also drove past my house many times after our date.. Word of advice, don’t get your dating advice from a paranoid psychopath who cheats on his wife. 🀣

Sometimes your lives and friend circles are so different that you never hang out in the same circles. For dating someone though, your friends need to like the person you’re seeing and they all need to enjoy spending time together. This is probably one of the most common pitfalls in my dating life, because so many people in Finland simply find me annoying AF and can’t stand being in the same room with me.πŸ˜‚πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ (totally my own fault though, due to my critical views about Finland and stuff. It’s deliberate however because I want to move out.) Men have a hard time defending my brutal opinions when most people disagree with me. ☹️So even when you have gorgeous male friends, the possibility of dating just never crosses your mind and it’s ok, because heterosexual men and women CAN be just friends. 😊❀️

Sonia and one of her oldest (and hottest) male friends Jere are a living proof that heterosexual men and women CAN be just friends. πŸ™‚ Photo: Sonia Jain