White Guys Stop Asking Mixed Race Women Out

I think I need to explain to white guys, that mixed race women are NOT white. We are 50 percent white.πŸ˜„ I may look white from the outside, but every white guy I’ve ever dated always seems equally surprised about my non-white features, such as darker pigmentation spots on my skin, dark under eyes and stretch marks. πŸ˜„ We all have our unique features from our heritage. I’m mixed with Indian and white.

Some men start gossiping when they find flaws in you. Some of these people seem to be fixated about my dark under eyes and other visible “flaws”. LOL.πŸ˜† Anyhow…Stop assuming that a young woman who lives in Finland will behave like a Finn, likes local food and all local things like ice hockey. 😫Mixed race people come from a MIXED cultural heritage, so obviously we also behave like that. ☺️So here are my thoughts about dating mixed race women:

  1. Don’t be a RACIST. πŸ˜‚ Just because you go out with an Indian-white mixed lady, doesn’t mean you can be racist towards black people or Chinese etc. Mixed people are usually very international and liberal and have a super international friend circle. So even if you don’t see her hanging out with Japanese people or Pakistanis, it doesn’t mean you can be racist towards them.
  2. Stop comparing your mixed race date to white women or other non-mixed people. We are mixed and we look mixed and you can’t change us, so either deal with it or find some other woman. 😊
  3. Stop finding “flaws” or be surprised that your mixed race date doesn’t have white features or has some ethnic features you don’t like. AGAIN, mixed people are NOT white and they are not the other race either. πŸ˜€ If you want to be sure, you can always ask about the features you’re curious about, BEFORE you get serious so there won’t be any “unpleasant” surprises. πŸ˜†
  4. Don’t freeze and sit like a mushroom when you meet her non-white parent. πŸ˜‚ If you are going to date a mixed race woman, you need to learn how to talk to ALL races. Or at least minimum the races of her parents. πŸ˜„ If you look at her parents arrogantly, then obviously it won’t work out in the long- term. Same goes for non-white guys talking to my white parent/ relatives. ☺️
  5. Be understanding of her background. She might have hidden traumas from experiencing racism at a very young age, something you have never HAD to experience. So even if you can’t relate to her traumas, try to be empathetic instead of getting angry or disappointed. She is trying her best and needs support and not constant judgement for being blunt about her traumas or hatred towards racist people. She is allowed to hate racism and be public about it. πŸ—£
  6. Growing up in two cultures makes mixed race people very adaptable and we try to pick the best features from each culture. So don’t be surprised if she loves sauna AND Indian food. πŸ˜ƒ Don’t assume things either. Just because she’s mixed with some “stereotypical” culture, doesn’t mean she is one. Nobody should actually. Just find out for yourself before making ANY assumptions and having any expectations.
  7. Do NOT try to change her to become a 100% something or 100% something else. If you can’t accept her mixed background, her mixed cultural habits and mixed cooking, then don’t even try to date her.
  8. Don’t accuse her of being racist towards white people! If she’s half white, chances are she’s NOT racist towards white people. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ She might have been bullied by white racists A LOT, but it still doesn’t mean she hates her own heritage and relatives and ALL white people. She is allowed to hate racists though and you can’t tell her not to. 😝
  9. Be understanding about her need to travel and live in other countries and settling in some INTERNATIONAL city. She will NOT be happy in a tiny white town in the middle of nowhere or some tiny crap city that is NOWHERE even close to the international atmosphere of NYC, London or Paris. If you can’t understand what she wants in life then don’t try to force her to live somewhere she doesn’t want to be. She will only get depressed and then it’s your fault! The fact that so many men in Finland simply don’t care that I do NOT want to live here is a clear indication how insensitive they are to mixed race women’s feelings. FAIL. ✈️
  10. If you are not an international person or don’t have an international friend circle, don’t travel much or never lived abroad, then trust me, it won’t work out with a mixed race woman. International people prefer other international people, so if you are a hillbilly find another hillbilly. If you can’t find one, ask the mixed race woman to find you one. πŸ˜‰ πŸ‘πŸΌ

Of course, not all men are ill-mannered gossips though. I think it’s just the men who have been listening to douchebags for dating advice. Though some sweet guys have made me feel good about my flaws and these are the gems you need to find in your life. Unfortunately, the older you get, the more difficult it gets to find these gems. πŸ™ I live in a country where there are NONE of these gems. So hopefully I FINALLY get the chance to move to a big international city soon before I’m too old to have babies. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Mixed race relationships won’t work if you’re a racist. πŸ˜πŸ˜‰ (or live in a racist country.) Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Control Your Urge to Slap Annoying People in the Face

I admit, I’m not a Zen master. I have a quick temper and my bad temperament has reached whole new levels after being continuously and consistently bullied by a big group of a-hole LOSERS. Something about bullies, racists and douchebags that makes me blood boil and head explode. 🀯Bullies seem to have a very narcissistic worldview. They think its their right as obnoxious people to destroy perfectly happy content, young and smart (and not to mention helpful volunteer) women’s lives. They also think their targets are very jealous of them and this is how they justify their bullying/ provoking/ harassment/ constant need to prove themselves to their target and when you react, you are “jealous, crazy, aggressive”. LOL, bitch please…In reality you just simply don’t give a flying fuck and want to be left alone. πŸ˜†πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Even a rich hot educated man/ woman can be a bully. Their blood thirst for bullying can be even worse because too much money has blurred their brain functions. So it doesn’t necessarily mean that the normal definition of a “loser” is always the bully. Though, what I have noticed and experienced is that these pathetic rich bitches/ a-holes will use these “traditional losers” to do the dirty work for them. It’s kinda like hiring a hitman. So when the hitman goes to jail, so will the person who hired the hitman. πŸ˜†

I have been provoked in the most disgusting, under the belt, low class tactics. You really need nerves of STEEL to have managed what I have managed by MYSELF. You can’t change an abnormal bully brain, the only rational thing you can do is to leave the situation.

So how HAVE I actually managed to control my urge to slap annoying people? Here is a short list of how I have managed to control myself while facing continous abusive bullying:

  1. Well I’m not a violent psycho for one. πŸ˜†
  2. Mental strength and being around racist and jealous mannerless people since I was a kid have really made my skin thick as an elephant and strong as steel. Nothing makes you ignore stupid shit better than being called the n-word, a gypsy, a boat refugee, and being spat in the face when you’re fucking 10 years old. πŸ‘πŸΌ (also why I’ll NEVER have kids in Finland.)
  3. Music helps to block annoying people’s whining. 🎢
  4. As a general thumb rule, if the person is worthless to you, then why do you even give a flying fuck what that person thinks of you. πŸ—£
  5. Writing and rage tweeting help process negative emotions. Sometimes mean people really get to me, because they have no limit to how low they can go.
  6. Doing yoga. πŸ™πŸΌ
  7. Some people constantly interrupt you when you’re trying to talk to someone else, make vicious remarks or just have that annoying way of asking “What, can you repeat that?!!” about 5 TIMES in a row, it’s irritating. So sometimes you just have to tell them directly to leave you alone. These negative attention seekers are usually harmless, so you can just try to be nice about it. If it doesn’t work, talk to them in their own language. (Since sometimes it’s the only language they understand. Sigh. πŸ™„)
  8. The key to mastering your emotions is to realize the fact that these type of low level trash people who provoke, provoke and provoke for YEARS until they finally get you to snap is that they are jealous. They can’t manage their own emotions even for five fucking minutes, so obviously semi- zen masters like me, are a HUGE threat to them. Especially if they’re racist and think you’re subhuman like in my case in Finland.
  9. Don’t fall for the crocodile tears. I have had so many people point fingers at me as the “bad, angry SINGLE woman” and they have adopted the “rescue me innocent mom/ dad” thing. This show is a pathetic shit show and the only people it will hurt in the end are their own children, family members or friends that they use as puppets just to prove a point how “evil” single childless Sonia is. So since I know their tactics, I try to control myself when they deliberately provoke me to show how “aggressive” I am. They should probably find a more interesting job or take a vacation or get a new wife/ husband and leave me the fuck alone, because nothing makes me NOT want to have children more is this BULLYING.πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸΌ
  10. Misogynists can also provoke women and then simply brand them “crazy”. Calling women crazy or broken are cheap tactics abusive men use to control their wives/ employees/ girlfriends. Don’t fall for their trap and get angry, but make sure to find evidence how insane those men really are. Sometimes, you don’t even need to lift a finger to do shit because most misogynists fall for their own trap in the end. Just wait for it. For example, my ex-boss always blamed women for everything and after all the evidence I collected against him, the CEO finally opened his eyes and believed me and not that man’s outrageous lies. πŸ˜‚
  11. When someone always brags and tries to prove themselves to others, it’s a sign of weakness and low self-esteem. It’s easy to spot this and the simple way is just to smile it off. πŸ™ƒ You could also say “You don’t have to prove yourself to me, I believe you are happy without the constant need for my validation dear.” β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸΌ
  12. People who are envious of you always think YOU are envious of them. Their car, their blonde hair, job, kids, money, spouse etc. whatever they can come up with when in reality they are jealous of your confidence and mental strength, because they themselves are insecure and try to hide it with bullshitting. Truly confident people don’t need to prove themselves and accuse single people of jealousy. This is just a cheap tactic of trying to validate their own low self-esteem when a “sad single woman” is “jealous”. Try to come up with something more original than accusing single people of jealousy. πŸ˜…
  13. Sometimes annoying bullies will claim that it’s “tough love” and you need to become “stronger”, grow a “thicker skin” when they simply torment and isolate you for fun. This is not ok and it’s challenging without a lawyer, so when the opportunity rises, sue them. Bullying is NEVER ok and it does NOT make you stronger. Never believe the bullies and their stupid ass crap excuses.
  14. If someone provokes you, scream, don’t hit. πŸ˜‚ Unless you hit for self-defense. (Though I believe in Finland there are no self-defense laws) Physical violence is a crime, but if you say “fuck you” to someone who deliberately provoked you, you’re not breaking the law. Swearing in your mind is also a good tactic. Also if you must, use words that are funny not illegal (in defamation standards. Especially racists are SUPER sensitive of being called racist and have made it illegal in Finland now LOOOL🀣). Imagine some tough guy suing you because you called him “micropenis”. Even if he would win the case, he would need to explain to his friends why he sued you. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜Ž
  15. Annoying someone is different than pushing someone. I have had crazy ass women “accidentally” bump into me in supermarkets and at work. AGAIN, these are cheap trash tactics to get a reaction from you and point fingers at you. Just remember, if they push/ touch you FIRST, you are reacting as self-defense. So better just stop right there pathetic bullies and get yourself a new hobby. πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸΌ
When bullies deliberately provoke you, manage your emotions with different stress relief factors. Also keep in mind, they’re worthless and find you a threat. πŸ™πŸΌ Photo: Sonia Jain

Are Some Women Really Too Emotional and Would Men Prefer Someone Dead Inside Instead?

I’ve been called “too emotional” by many men. So the question is, would those men prefer a dead inside woman who doesn’t give a flying fuck about them instead? πŸ˜‚ Take the money, sex and jewellery but if the man is lying home dead from a flu or some other shit, the “too emotional” woman would probably bring him soup. If men don’t like that and prefer someone who says “I don’t give a fuck about your flu, call me when you’re healthy again so you can buy me shoes” then I guess I’m too emotional and a bad person. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€£ I bet the men who cheat/ mock/ dump women who are “too emotional and needy” will regret it later in life though… πŸ˜‚

Many men HAVE actually regretted later in life the way they treated me and how they didn’t appreciate my sensitivity. Tough shit.πŸ˜‚ Never let people who treated you like crap back into your life. Let them rotten in hell with a vicious woman who’s a perfect match for them.πŸ˜† Here are MY opinions (you don’t have to agree with me) of what are normal healthy emotions and sensitivity vs. being abnormally needy and excessively demanding behavior. πŸ’–Just to be clear, I have NOT done any of the abnormal things on my list LOLπŸ˜…, but I have been accused of being too needy for all the normal things I have done on my list (by men who have done some of the abnormal things on my listπŸ˜….) πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ₯΄

Normal:

  1. Texting/ calling everyday. πŸ’•
  2. Being Facebook friends with your new friend/ date/ crush/ partner. If you have nothing to hide, then it should be fine to be friends on Facebook.
  3. Offering to come over to his/ her house if he/ she is feeling sick/ tired/ bored/ depressed/ lonely and spend time with the person, e.g. cooking, talking, watching TV etc.
  4. Expecting more from the relationship after you have been seeing each for a couple weeks. It’s perfectly normal to move on to the next step in a relationship, such as moving in together.
  5. Asking to go on a holiday together after you feel comfortable with each other e.g. after one month of dating. (and the man should pay for it.) ✈️
  6. Having an argument about bad communication and how the man/ woman totally lacks emotional awareness and disrespects the woman’s/ man’s emotions.
  7. Baking a cake/ cupcakes with cute decoration/ heart shaped sprinkles. πŸŽ‚
  8. Meeting the parents after you have agreed to a meeting together (after a few dates etc., depending what you agree TOGETHER.)
  9. Asking for honesty, open communication and what the other person wants from the relationship.
  10. Asking to join the man/ woman to an event, to a party with his friends or another social gathering with his/ her social network. πŸ₯³

Abnormal:

  1. Texting/ calling 100 times a day. Twenty messages is max per day in my opinion.
  2. Stalking his/ her friends (or exes!) on Facebook and contacting them. (After I broke up with one guy once, his ex contacted my fucking DAD via Facebook. Creepy lunatic.)
  3. Offering to come over to his/ her house and immediately EXPECT to sleep with your date. Even after several dates, it categorizes the relationship into a cheap non-serious one.
  4. Expecting to get engaged/ married after you have met five times. 😁
  5. Asking for the man/ woman to buy you a car. πŸš™
  6. Breaking up because the woman/ man wanted to clear the air about bad communication.
  7. Baking a wedding cake. πŸ˜‚
  8. Dragging your parents without informing the other person to your private date.
  9. Demanding the other person to show his/ her texts/ emails/ social media message or install spyware on his/ her phone! Relationships should NOT be this complicated.
  10. Appearing DELIBERATELY without warning to a social gathering of his/ her social network. This might come across as too creepy. 😨 Especially in the early stages of dating. Though I once went by ACCIDENT to the same salsa party a man I was seeing was, because I was invited by another friend and I had no clue the guy would be there. πŸ˜‚ His face was PRICELESS when he saw me there ahaha.

Not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea and it’s ok. Sensitive people tend to like other sensitive people but we sometimes get curious of the “bad boys” too and it’s ok. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’–

I’m a sensitive woman and I prefer it instead of being dead inside. πŸ˜‚πŸ’–πŸ‘πŸΌ Photo: Sonia Jain

The Age Old Question, Can Women and Men Just Be Friends?

This is an age old question that has people divided. Can heterosexual men and women be just friends? I have seen many interviews, read articles and discussed with both men and women about this topic. The answer seems to be clearly divided. Many men think they can’t and women think they can. πŸ˜ƒπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

What about work colleagues, your neighbor, landlord, lawyer, gardener. πŸ˜„ Are you supposed to avoid EVERYONE once you are in a committed relationship? I have been single almost my entire life and most of my friends have been men, simply because so many women find me annoying. 🀣 For some reason, the friendships haven’t developed into relationships, so my theory from my personal experience is that you can be a normal, healthy heterosexual woman and have a platonic friendship with men. Probably the most crucial question is, are you attracted to the person and if you are, would it be enough to cheat (if you have a partner) or start a relationship? If you are both attractive people, is there a “spark” between you two? Does the other person make you feel butterflies in your stomach or more like talking to your parents? (which is great for a friendship, because you feel safe and loved with your parents, but wouldn’t date them.) From my experience, even in the most hottest male Gods, there can be something in their personality that makes them undatable (e.g. football players are Gods, but their lifestyle and interests are totally different than mine, so they usually end up with hot models who like to settle at a young age) or absolutely repulsive to date. You can stay friends but not date. I had a French guy as a friend and he didn’t seem to understand why his relationships failed. He used to make vicious (and slightly racist πŸ™„πŸ˜²) remarks, such as “Michelle Obama is ugly” and therefore I considered him more like gossiping female friend than a real man ahaha. πŸ˜†

A crucial thing is also if the female friends and male friends believe in sisterhood (or girl code) and the bro code. Women who believe in sisterhood believe that you don’t go stealing no other bitches men, no matter what ok? πŸ˜‚πŸ™‹πŸ½β€β™€οΈThe bro code follows similar ethical code, “bros before hoes” and if the man thinks your friend’s girlfriend is hot, his belief in the ethical code prohibits him from acting on his desire and stealing his friend’s girlfriend. These type of people make the BEST and the most LOYAL friends, because you know you can trust them when you do find a committed partner. In my opinion, I have been totally underrated for my loyalty towards the sisterhood code from my female peers and it’s sad as fuck.😭 (unlike my blonde female EX- friend who flirted and tried to STEAL a man I was seeing when I went to get drinks! Eventually both me and her ended up alone and the man married a Thai woman. Fucking drama. 😫A perfect example how arrogant some women are, they think they are so hot they can steal other women’s men but failed in this case. πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌ)

Then there are those guys that you have known FOREVER and always hang out with in weird places, bump into in random places etc.. They can be super hot and sweet like my friend Jere in the pic below (who is the perfect example of a man who knows men and women can be just friends), but then you also just have totally separate lifestyles, schedules, travel interests, friends, opinions in which country to settle in and dating lives. πŸ˜•Jere has always had the most gorgeous female friends and girlfriends because he works in PR, so he is always surrounded by women. In this profession, you also learn how to control yourself and understand how to be professional. PR is full of drop dead gorgeous women, young models and social and happy people, so if you didn’t have self control and an understanding that work is work, friends are friends and dating is dating, it would be impossible to work in PR. Same goes for professional photographers. I have met a few and one is already married with kids. He is friends with gorgeous models, but also understands that he is in a committed relationship and work and friends are separate and their relationship has the most key ingredient for any relationship: TRUST. Even if ALL your friends are 80 year old grandmas and grandpas, without trust, your partner will find some crazy ass reason to isolate you from your friends. (So dump that psycho asap) For example, I once went on a date with a spoiled rich brat man and one time he found out (no idea how) I had been on the fucking phone TALKING with my male model friend. So then he trash talked me to everyone as an “untrustworthy hoe”. πŸ€£πŸ™„He also drove past my house many times after our date.. Word of advice, don’t get your dating advice from a paranoid psychopath who cheats on his wife. 🀣

Sometimes your lives and friend circles are so different that you never hang out in the same circles. For dating someone though, your friends need to like the person you’re seeing and they all need to enjoy spending time together. This is probably one of the most common pitfalls in my dating life, because so many people in Finland simply find me annoying AF and can’t stand being in the same room with me.πŸ˜‚πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ (totally my own fault though, due to my critical views about Finland and stuff. It’s deliberate however because I want to move out.) Men have a hard time defending my brutal opinions when most people disagree with me. ☹️So even when you have gorgeous male friends, the possibility of dating just never crosses your mind and it’s ok, because heterosexual men and women CAN be just friends. 😊❀️

Sonia and one of her oldest (and hottest) male friends Jere are a living proof that heterosexual men and women CAN be just friends. πŸ™‚ Photo: Sonia Jain

What Is a Date and What Makes a Date Successful?

There seems to be a lot of confusion of what is a date. Who defines what is a date, just like who defines a relationship, a friendship etc.? I think a common unwritten rule that most people follow when defining a date is that when two people get to know each other in a private or public setting without inviting other people to join you. Sometimes I have created confusion by asking for help from men though. πŸ˜– That’s why being poor and single is tricky, you can’t afford a lawyer but need legal advice because some crazy ass LOSERS just won’t leave you the fuck alone. πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

So what is a date for you might not actually be a date for the other person UNLESS you both agree and communite in a way that makes it a date. Here’s my simple list of what I consider is a date. I would love to hear your comments and you’re welcome to agree or disagree with me. 😊✌️

  1. If a man/ woman asks you out just the two of you because he/ she SAYS he/ she is interested in getting to know you better because you are intelligent/ attractive/ funny/ rich/ ethical/ confident/ honest etc. whatever shit you’re into. πŸ˜€
  2. Don’t disguise your interest in dating someone as a job offer, asking for legal help, asking to work together in a project etc. It will get super confusing super quickly. This is where the most problems have arised in my dating life.
  3. Inviting someone to a big party is not a date. It’s being friendly to an interesting person. πŸ™‚ (it might lead to a date though. Safe way to know a bit more of a person before you ask her/ him on a date.)
  4. Communication is the KEY. Be honest about what you want. If you want to date someone, just have a fling, just get legal advice, just show off to your friends or have a baby to please the crazy ass government (and after the baby is born you ghost the person).πŸ˜‚ Don’t USE people. If someone wants just a fling, there are plenty of people who are also looking for just a fling. You don’t need to trick women/ men who are looking for a serious relationship with empty promises of a relationship when all you want is sex or help in some random shit. πŸ˜‚Everyone appreciates HONESTY. You would be surprised how many women are willing to have an open relationship if that’s your thing. Pick them wisely.
  5. When two people go on a date, the key difference is if you are attracted to each other or not. Initial attraction can also fade DURING the date if one of you says something insulting for example. So this is also important to keep in mind, that if you are interested in someone and ask her/ him out but then lose interest during the date, it’s your responsibility as an ADULT to inform the person why. If a man says something stupid and doesn’t realize it, raising the topic might save the friendship. People are NOT mind readers. A total dealbreaker for me is racism/ misogyny though. How the fuck do some men expect to date a brown woman and hate brown people AND women?🀣 🀷🏼
  6. Ghosting is the worst thing you can do. It’s for weak COWARDS. If you like someone, say it. If you don’t like someone, fucking say it! πŸ˜‚ Ghosting means you disappear without a word and stop answering texts/ phone calls. I never had a man do this to me but some female friends disappeared from my life without a word. It’s pathetic. It’s even worse with dating and I can tell you that that kind of little bitch behavior will create A LOT of resentment and thirst for revenge. So always be polite when ending relationships, because even the nicest women AND the most helpful friends have their limits! ☠️
  7. When I was in my 20s, I went on a date with a hot model guy. We didn’t even kiss after the movie even though we had fun and we found each other attractive. I was super busy with my studies and friends back then. I didn’t have time to call/ text him at all. Then I got a call from him like two weeks later or something and he asked if I’m still interested since we didn’t keep contact etc. We both agreed that this isn’t really working since I was busy with my studies and friends, he was busy with his modeling and work and neither of us was really looking to settle down in our 20s. Eventually he left the country (like most of my friends). πŸ˜‚ This is however, a perfect example of great communication and ending things in a friendly tone. ❀️
  8. If you are the traveling type like I am, settling down can be challenging. It’s important to live/ move to a country you actually want to settle down in. Otherwise it will make dating a living nightmare like in my case. I live in Finland where men want to settle here, but I don’t. πŸ˜‚ So this is the number one thing to find out when you go out on a date. Nothing is worse than keeping your partner a miserable, sad, and bitter hostage somewhere where she/ he totally doesn’t want to be. This can be especially tricky for expats. This might also lead to breakups. Possibly even alcohol problems, depression and worst case suicide! Is your job really worth killing your partner??
  9. I have given baked goods as gifts to men, my (hot) landlord, my friends etc. This is also confusing if you don’t explain the meaning. So if you want a discount in your rent, a favor, or a romantic date, it’s better to be clear about it. ☺️
  10. In some cases you should just openly ask “Do you want to go on a date with me”, or “Is this a date? πŸ˜€” so then the mood will be set right, the expectations will be some what on point (though never expect ANYTHING on a FIRST date). It will keep things interesting and possibly lead to another date.
  11. When you finally do go on a date, it’s important to be yourself. Don’t pretend to be fancy by eating a hamburger with a fork and knife. πŸ˜† It won’t give you extra brownie points but rather be amusing. πŸ˜ƒ Don’t try too hard dear women and men. The right people will love you for who you are. ❀️
  12. After the first date, also keep in mind that it doesn’t automatically mean you are exclusively dating or you “own” the other person now. πŸ˜‚I’ve had men claim I’m “untrustworthy” after I had ONE date with them and continued to hangout with my male friends and went on a date with someone else. πŸ˜…πŸ™„ C’mon people, you have to AGREE that you are exclusively dating first! You are allowed to see other people at the same time, just remember to be honest or tell the other person. Just don’t start gossiping like a whiny little bitch if some woman doesn’t read your fucking mind what you want after the FIRST date when you aren’t brave enough to say what you want out loud ok?! πŸ˜‚ ❀️

I hope you now have a better understanding of what is a date and what makes a date successful. πŸ™‚πŸ™ƒ Please send me a message if you would like to know more about my dating tips and purchase my dating guide.

A date is when someone asks you out just the TWO of you, because she/ he wants to get to know you better. Sometimes you get/ bring a gift or flowers. The color of the flowers is also important. It says about the personality of the giver/ receiver. Yellow roses are bright, happy and not too in your face for romance (on a first date it’s good to be less pushy before you know each other’s personalities). I got these pretty yellow roses from a nice man. πŸ’› Photo: Sonia Jain

Travel Smart When You’re Alone And on a Budget

You can travel even when you are unemployed. A great trick is to utilize job interviews. Big companies will pay for your trip even if they decide not to hire you or you decline the job. So if you can’t find ANY glamour in being single and unemployed, then at least you are free to go where ever the fuck you want without having to ask for anyone’s permission or taking anyone’s feelings into consideration. πŸ˜ƒ If you are tight with money, apply for a job in an international company and if they are interested, they’ll pay for your trip for the job interview/ relocation costs to move to the location of the job. Even a basic shitty zero talent required call center job will do that in Europe. As long as you speak some exotic language like Finnish or Portuguese. For Americans, China and Japan pay huge salaries for teaching English (with an American accent). I’ve talked to some young American women who even went to Istanbul to teach English.

You can also do it online and save money to travel abroad. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. People will say you’re selfish if you travel and they’ll say you have a hidden agenda if you don’t travel and help your old retired relatives. 🀣 Cheap people will always find some fucking thing to whine about so FUCK THEM and do your thing.

You have to be smart when you travel alone, especially as a single woman. I have avoided “dangerous” countries and picked safe spots like Thailand, Luxembourg, Bulgaria, Germany and my favourite, New York City! Some may argue that NYC is not that safe, but actually, it’s the hub for highly educated talented single career women (and men). Funnily, Sex and the City TV- show inspired a rush of young fashionistas to move to the city and there might be even more young single women than men. Unfortunately, I failed to establish my career there and had to return back to square one. Sabotaging someone’s efforts to establish an international career is not cool AT ALL and doesn’t help anyone. Wouldn’t it be a win-win to EVERYONE if young talent could actually go abroad and use their talent, earn their own money and then come back with their own fucking money instead of forcing them to do shit they do not want to do?! 🀣 I think any government would be happy to have smart hard-working young talent that actually want to earn their own money (regardless WHERE they earn their money..) instead of living on social benefits like a loser. Babies can come later and the LAME AF excuse I have gotten from people is that I’m “in the age of having babies”. 🀣Wrong, I need a man to have a baby and MONEY. The baby won’t eat air, so obviously I need to have a (high paying) job first. Babies and shoes are fucking expensive Ok??🀣

Even if you are broke AF, you can travel abroad alone. You just have to pick locations that are not very expensive, keep on a budget and maybe even try to earn some money while traveling! Every country has their own rules and regulations about unemployment, but most European countries have a “union system”. You pay an annual membership fee and if you lose your job, you get like 80% of your salary for two years. This is a good system, especially if you were viciously bullied in the previous workplace and need a break. Usually people find a job during this time, but unfortunately in my case my unemployment seems to be a neverending hell. So then you just have to do random jobs, like sales promotion gigs (e.g. handing out flyers is LAME, but it’s grass root marketing and pays OK, better than McDonald’s cashier) and other low paying jobs totally not worth your Master’s. πŸ˜–Here’s a list of countries I have travelled to while being single and unemployed. By the way, I also LOVE to combine trips to save a buck. So if I’m in Central Europe, I’ll take a cheap train to a nearby country etc..

  1. NYC. I went there three times for JOB HUNTING and all my plane tickets cost less than 500€. On one of my trips there, I worked two weeks at Marimekko store in UES in Manhattan to earn some cash. Once I stayed with family friends to save rent money and then I also found cheap shared apartments on Craigslist.
  2. Paris, France. European flights are cheap especially if you know all the bargain websites. Book early and travel lightly!
  3. Galway, Ireland. I travelled with my own money to check a call center job offer I got, but decided not to accept it for personal reasons. Again, not that expensive, took a plane to Dublin and a train to Galway and then a bus to my hotel. Travel lightly so you don’t need to take a taxi everywhere.
  4. Sofia, Bulgaria. I went there for a call center job. My travel expenses were paid by the company and first two weeks in a hotel. Sadly, I got fired. πŸ˜…πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  5. Mumbai, India. I stayed with relatives to avoid hotel expenses. If you don’t have relatives abroad, find cheap hotels and go with friends.
  6. Bangkok, Thailand. I took a cheap flight from Mumbai since I was already in that part of the globe. Nice hotels are also MUCH cheaper than in Europe/ the States.
  7. Malta. I went there for an online casino job and my travel expenses were paid by the company and first two weeks of accommondation. Sadly, I got fired AGAIN. πŸ˜…πŸ˜«
  8. Tallinn, Estonia. There are cheap boat trips from Helsinki for like 20€ with return. People are beautiful, friendly and very helpful. Prices are very reasonable too.
  9. Luxembourg. Found a cheap flight and stayed with a friend. The cheapest way to travel is to travel with friends or alone and stay with friends/ relatives. If you don’t have friends, find trustworthy travel buddies online. (There are websites for it.)
  10. Trier, Germany. I took a cheap train from Luxembourg, paid in total like 20€ with return.

People will get jealous if you travel when you are unemployed, they will question where did you get money to travel and did you do something shady. πŸ˜‚ There’s no cure for jealousy. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, but since so many “lovely” people have accused me of BULLSHIT, here’s a very simple blog post how to fucking travel while being unemployed, without having to do prostitution, rob a bank or squeeze money from your retired relatives!!🀣

Sonia enjoying life and checking out cultural stuff in Malta in 2017! She got a low skilled JOB (totally not worth her Master’s) there, the company paid her travel expenses and rent for first two weeks. πŸ’―πŸŒ

How to Get Into a Relationship Without Going on a Date?

Dating is complicated and there are too many articles about it and that’s why my blog doesn’t solely focus on dating topics. I write about managing your budget and loneliness when living alone and perhaps you’re also looking for work etc..In any case, most people want to get in to a relationship. The problem is, how to get into a relationship without going on dates when randoms criticize your dating life? πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

This is a problem for both women and men. Women are VERY often branded as “sluts”, “gold diggers” and “easy hoes” if they didn’t marry the first fucking guys who asked them out and paid for their dinner. Guys are branded as “serial daters” or “players” and “wasting money” if they go out with several women. So women are sluts and men waste money on stupid dinners that most often do not even lead to sex. πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ (see the misogynist comparison BOTH men and women use, men waste money for a dinner with a woman if the woman doesn’t have sex with him! πŸ™„πŸ˜‘πŸ€―)

So how are we supposed to get into a relationship then? I’ve had discussions about artificial intelligence “dating sites” that can choose the right person for you. Is life really that complicated though? Why do people talk so much crap about singles trying to find a partner? Why are we not allowed to explore the pool? Why settle? I have noticed that the people with the biggest problem with mingling singles are the people who settled (with the wrong person). They are bummed out that they didn’t go on that date with the 5th or 8th interesting person they met but instead settled too early, didn’t have time to explore the world, have sex, and enjoy life because apparently the married/ settled life is not exciting enough for them to keep their fucking mouths shut about mingling singles. 🀣🀣

I have been on a date with several men from different countries, dinner, coffee, tea. Getting to know each other before getting involved in anything serious. Funnily, some people have said I’m a slut/ doing prostitution even though I don’t have sex (or even kiss) the man after having dinner/ coffee/ tea. So what’s the big deal? Some men claim I’m using men for free food. (Yes I wrote that in my other blog post, caught me there.😝) However, the thing is, I NEVER go out with a man who is totally uninteresting to me AND if the man turns out to be a douchebag DURING the date, it’s only fair he will pay for the dinner if HE asked me out in the first place. There’s always something that intrigues me (not necessarily money), but intelligence, anarchy, looks, humor, interesting stories and when you’re past 30 years old, you also tend to value stability A LOT. A man’s lifestyle and values are very important and goes above everything else. You can be rich and hot but a total a-hole when it comes to values. You can also be ugly and poor and still be an a-hole when it comes to treating women right. πŸ˜† (Same goes for women too though.) Anyway, one of my female friends told me a story about a guy who asked her out, offered her 1€ coffee and then when the bill came, made her fucking pay for it! 🀣 Even if you’re a broke student etc., that is incredibly rude. You know you could just meet somewhere else than a cafe. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†

There are no written rules for who will turn out to be the best one FOR YOU, so you just need to explore the pool the old-fashioned way. If someone tries to mock you for being a mingling single, politely remind them that Hitler was married too and it sure as fuck didn’t make him a better person. πŸ€£πŸ˜…

In case you need help in how to behave on a date, please contact me about my dating guide. They are my real life experiences (good and bad) about dating in my 20-30s. Can be applied to all ages. It’s a PDF and very reasonable price and I can guarantee you that if you follow all my tips, you will get a date. Please contact me on my contact page.β˜ΊοΈπŸ•ΊπŸ»

Going on a dinner date is OK even if it doesn’t lead to anything. Anyone thinking any different is an idiot and should stick to offering 1€ coffee (or make the woman pay for the fucking 1€ coffee 🀣) and be prepared to be alone forever. (Dinner/ lunch like this risotto I was offered by a polite man can be 15-20€ and still be awesome OR a home cooked meal FYI. Read my blog post about 2€ meals under Finances section.) Photo: Sonia Jain

Where Are All My Friends?

When you are job hunting, your mood changes. You become irritable, stressed, your self-esteem decreases and sometimes you can even get depressed. It only gets worse the longer you are unemployed unfortunately. Especially if you don’t have a support network. Family, friends and a partner are the best support network you can have when you don’t have (nice) work colleagues.

Unfortunately, some people simply can’t handle negative emotions. Job hunting can make you bitter and lash out at the wrong people. Some friends will simply lose interest because you don’t have money anymore to go out like you used to or they only like the “fun” you. When the shit gets real, you realize who your true friends are. In my case in Finland, none. You also make the perfect victim for sadistic bullying. Here are some vicious things I’ve experienced since I became officially unemployed (and single) in 2013 in Finland. Bullying makes me blood boil, especially when a whole country gangs up on you when you try to struggle alone, so I use the word fuck a lot on this post. πŸ˜‚

  1. The worst thing you can do is to punish your unemployed friend by isolating her, stop inviting her to places and then blame her for being too “boring”.
  2. Bullying the unemployed friend for her financial struggles is lame. Especially if she is fucking brave enough to be honest about them. A-holes will be a-holes. You also never know when the tables will turn and you’ll be in the same situation, so treat others the way want to be treated.
  3. Don’t brag about your expensive stuff to your unemployed friend, when you are well aware of her struggles.
  4. Don’t show off your boyfriend. Nothing wrong in expressing happiness, but to deliberately rub it on someone’s face who’s struggling alone is a dick move. Insecure women do this a lot. 🀣They think random women will steal their boyfriends if they don’t prove to the whole world how “happy” they are. Awww. We all know what’s really going on. The show is getting A BIT old. 🀭
  5. Stop telling an unemployed person to go to therapy when you’re well aware of she can’t fucking afford it.
  6. Stop generally giving unsolicited advice. If someone has survived the worst job ever, got rejected from every job application after that and somehow managed to pay her bills, not to mention some family struggles then who the fuck are you to tell her to stop whining and be grateful? πŸ˜„ This “be grateful” BS is the most annoying thing randoms tell you.
  7. People who only see negativity in others are negative themselves. I think I’ve been called a “negative person” by five people in total and they have all been from Finland. Before you go out saying shit like that make sure you understand what is a negative person. A negative person does NOT try to find a job for SEVEN fucking years, move to a new country three times for work just to get fired and then try again in another country, move 10 times to a new apartment after being harassed, deal with racist garbage bullies alone, stay hopeful in dating after getting burned by a million guys, pay all her bills alone, watch her mother’s health deteriorate year by year and yet somehow always help others with a smile on her face. So #STFU!! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€šπŸΌ
  8. Some women are the biggest snakes. Jealousy, racism whatever the reason. As a mixed race woman I have faced it all. It’s sad to realize that your female friends were actually just trash talking racist/ nazi/ jealous snakes after you supported them and spent time with them when they felt sad and lonely, when their boyfriends cheated on them, employers sexually harassed them and one even got cancer treatments (and I was there to help her.) Just like Meghan Markle, pointing fingers and finding flaws and calling an innocent empathetic person a selfish demanding bad person is a common tactic for racists to use to spread their hateful propaganda and to try to stop “race mixing”. Good luck in trying LOSERS. Do these bitches really think they’ll attract quality men by sabotaging other women?? What I’ve seen, they attract abusive, nit picky even violent men, so have “fun” with your men. πŸ˜†πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸΌ
  9. My “friends” told all my secrets to my haters, lied about my mental health to make me look like a crazy person (apparently using the word “fuck”‘ is for the mentally illπŸ€”πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ) and deliberately sabotaged my efforts to leave Finland and actually be happy because they themselves have no fucking clue how to be happy.
  10. A-hole neighbors whine that you work out in your apartment 30min/ 3 times a week during the fucking day.🀣 But of course they’re allowed to party at 2am!!!πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  11. Some people think it’s funny to rip off your pennies and fuck up your hair and eyebrows DELIBERATELY and make-up and other cosmetics that you paid full price for! There’s no cure for the disability called racism unfortunately. It’s not going to make you prettier by making me uglier. πŸ–•πŸΌ
  12. Sabotaged my coffee (and some food too!) with laxatives. πŸ’© Again only an abnormal brain will do something like this.
  13. Sabotaged my cats’ food with laxatives and now my fucking cats are paranoid to eat their food. So fuck you.
  14. A-hole men will try to date you when you are an easy target who needs shelter and food. 🀣 They claim all their exes have been supermodels, but well.. The “love drugs” work on only some women. 🀭 πŸ€£πŸ˜†They’ll also call you ugly if don’t want to date them (for their money, because obviously if they were confident they would have asked you out when you had a job OR help you get a job and then date you! πŸ˜€) What’s the deal with men who don’t take care of their looks AT ALL yet expect to date only hot models?πŸ˜‚ I think if the woman is not blind or on drugs, she will cheat on you. Just saying, if you expect your woman to look hot, you should too.
  15. Misogyny. Some men think if they hire you, you will sue them for sexual harassment because one paranoid low IQ loser couldn’t keep his fucked up paranoia to himself so he had to ruin my career instead of getting therapy for himself. πŸ˜‚πŸ™„πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
  16. Bullies provoked me, couldn’t handle my reaction and then claim I have “bad leadership skills”. Where the fuck is the document that says anything about me wanting to lead anyone/ anything?! Especially YOU?! Like why would I have any interest in becoming the leader of a group of pathetic bullies? 🀣 πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈMy career goals do not concern anyone. Funnily, the same people who ruined my career, think I want to now listen to their “career advice”. Fuck no. Bye. 🀣
  17. Something about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry that triggered the most pathetic shit show ever among some women. 🀣Since they can’t get their hands on Meghan, poor me makes the perfect target for these insecure little bullying psycho bitches. FAIL. πŸ€£πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
  18. Some men mock crying because they can’t cry/ feel emotions. They’re DEAD inside. ☠️I would rather cry every day than not be able to enjoy ANYTHING and feel NOTHING, and be so empty inside that I have to cheat on my spouse/ torment random people/ be a general nuisance because someone didn’t get enough attention as a kid. 🀣When kids can’t get attention from their parents, they start misbehaving and try to get attention with negative behavior. Some adults never grow out of this because they simply don’t have the skills to get positive attention. This is how bullies will always exist and climb up the ladder to power positions, making it a neverending vicious cycle of garbage.
  19. Psycho men will manipulate older women to treat you like garbage, because they’re easy scapegoats instead of the weak psychopath man actually taking responsibility of his horrible personality and taste for sadism and drama. These type of men have also A LOT of issues with older women (mommy issues perhaps?) and that is why they target younger women, but put the blame on older women as “jealousy, cat fight” whatever misogynist BS these weak men can come up with. It might have worked in my case, if I didn’t have so positive experiences with ALL women, my female friends, relatives, colleagues etc. BEFORE I came across a couple of revengeful psychopath men at work. 🀣
  20. Your struggles bring out the worst in WEAK people. Weak people attack vulnerable people. They will patiently wait for the opportunity to see you in a weak moment literally for YEARS. They’ll also get more encouraged and go ballisticly INSANE if you actually have the balls to tell them to stop fucking bullying you! Especially cheap trash perfume, AC and ILLEGAL drowsy medication (to see how long it will take for me to die in a car crash) seems to be a “fun” thing to torment me with. πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌThen they continue to laugh at you, mock you, isolate you and hope you would just die alone. When they are not there for you for your struggles, don’t expect the friend you abandoned to even spit at your direction when she will be successful again. πŸ€£πŸ’ƒπŸ½βœˆοΈ

Bullying is never ok and just because YOU were bullied and it made your life shit, doesn’t give you the right to pass on your misery to perfectly happy content people like me. So be kind to each other. There are better ways to deal with the traumas of bullying than pass on the misery and force others to experience the cruelties you were forced to experience. I can tell you that nobody gives a flying fuck about you if you FORCE randoms to experience your shitty problems. Better way is to ASK for empathy and understanding, but these type of people don’t unfortunately understand how empathy works and definitely do NOT deserve it. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ’– People might laugh at me for being alone and unemployed, but I laugh at them for being more concerned about my problems than actually enjoy their own lives. Now that IS pathetic.

Bullying is for losers. Bullying is a disability (lack of human emotions). Sabotaging someone’s coffee is not funny. Only an abnormal fucked up brain will do something like that. Good luck losers and I can promise you, you picked the wrong fucking victim. πŸ€£β˜ οΈπŸ‘πŸΌ Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Defeat Boredom When You are Job Hunting

Job hunting is stressful. As is finding a partner. Doing both at the same time can be soul crushing. Even if you spend your days in looking for work, go on occasional dates and try to earn a buck to pay your bills by doing low skilled jobs (totally NOT worth your Master’s degree, because racism is “awesome” in Europe!!🀣), you will eventually get bored. Especially if you are blacklisted from the job market and NOBODY wants to help you find a job (500+ Linkedin connections are useless when you REALLY need them). πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

I think the “geniuses get their best ideas alone, crazy and bored” concept is totally OVERRATED BS and does NOT work or then I’m just simply not smart enough to come up with a billion dollar business plan when I’m been constantly mentally tortured! πŸ˜‚ I hate spending time alone and that’s why I live in the WORST country for my personality (Finland). Anyhow, here are 30 things I have done to defeat boredom (because there’s a limit how much you can spend on writing your freaking job applications per day ok??!). These can be utilized for your mental health as well, because obviously excess boredom and isolation decreases your mental wellbeing A LOT.

  1. Watched cake videos. πŸŽ‚ It’s amazing to see how they create beautiful (and tasty!) art from cakes and sugar. It’s very relaxing and satisfying to see these perfect cakes.
  2. Sent more than 200 job applications in seven years and FAILED. (Most of them to Finland, because apparently I’m not Finnish= white enough to be hired for a job worth my fucking Master’s degree. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ)
  3. Went to Malta for work, got fired and spent two months looking for work and attended eleven job interviews! (Eleven in two months vs. three in SEVEN YEARS in Finland!) Unfortunately the industry was apparently wrong for me so no luck in getting a job or something fishy. πŸ€”
  4. Binge watched TV shows, such as Desperate Housewives, The Handmaid’s Tale, Good Behavior, White Collar, Criminal Minds, New Girl, The Mindy Project, Family Guy etc..
  5. Literally attended tens of CV improvement courses and even bought a book about cover letters in a work in a library in NYC. Didn’t help me unfortunately.
  6. Attended job searching courses/ unemployment office events/ generally hanged out in the unemployment office. πŸ˜†
  7. Volunteered for Unicef, UN Women, Amnesty and Finnish Animal Welfare Society. Turns out they are more than happy to take my free help, but not actually PAY me and hire me for a real job. 🀣 πŸ‘πŸΌ
  8. Spent excess time with my cats (they are kind of like my children now ahaha). 🐈
  9. Drank A LOT of wine. 🍷🍷
  10. Joined different networking organisations and went to SO many different networking events with ZERO luck in finding work. Met a lot of cool new people though! πŸ’―
  11. Went to local church events to try to find new friends, failed. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  12. Joined Twitter and have tweeted more than 5000 times. (doesn’t include all the deleted (rage)tweets.)
  13. Created Instagram for myself and one for my cats. Have updated them regularly with pictures I have taken myself.
  14. Tried to become a Marketing Consultant, created a professional Facebook account (in addition to my other FB account) and a Facebook page for my new “business”, but failed to get clients. ☹️
  15. Learned how to use WordPress and started blogging after SEVEN years of sending bullshit applications and getting rejected from everything and getting mocked by everyone.
  16. Did free online courses by Google Digital Garage and got a certificate for one course. Hopefully it will be useful in finding some work. ✌️
  17. Exercised a lot, checked my weight every day and tracked what I eat but eventually got bored of counting my calorie intake (especially when you’re single) and started eating cakes again. πŸŽ‚
  18. Got a job in Bulgaria, got fired and returned back to square one.
  19. Traveled for leisure when I had money. 🌴
  20. Read a few books. πŸ“š
  21. Organized monthly events for an international expat group. Met so many well travelled cool people! πŸŒπŸ’―
  22. Went to NYC alone, found an apartment from Craigslist, networked with a bunch of people, skipped parties to write my fucking job applications (!), sent job applications, attended job interviews, missed my flight back to Finland, stayed and sent more job applications, and finally FAILED. 😫
  23. Drove around in a tram/ bus to pass time. πŸ˜†
  24. Went shopping in random locations just to get out of the house.
  25. Tried to talk to Finnish mental health professionals but their arrogant white supremacist attitude and condescending way of talking to me, made me NEVER want to see another mental health professional in this country ever again. ☹️
  26. Helped my old retired relatives.
  27. Worked all shitty jobs not worth my Master’s. Funny how some people love to see you do their dirty work for them but whine if you actually have a real job. ( I have been bullied in every office job I’ve had in Finland.)
  28. Experimented with new cooking recipes.
  29. Ate too much cake and chocolate. 🍫🧁
  30. Sat home alone most weekends and wished that I was in NYC. πŸ˜”πŸ—½

I hope I inspired someone who is also job hunting, haven’t managed to find a job worth her/ his degree, all the singles out there and anyone who needs encouragement and tips how to handle excess time (in more or less productive ways😝). Remember to be grateful (because that will pay the bills. NOT.) Sending positive vibes to everyone in any case!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¬βœŒοΈ

I have done A LOT of things to defeat boredom while job hunting (and being single.) Especially when the NGOs you volunteer for free don’t actually want to hire you for a real job. ( I applied to a few in Finland and they hired their white female friends instead.πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ) Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Avoid Dating Douchebags

Single life can be challenging in many ways, but there are some positive aspects too. It’s always better to be single than in an abusive relationship. I have managed to avoid abusive relationships by noticing the red flags EARLY on (in addition to my commitment phobiaπŸ˜›). It might be the reason I’ve been single almost my entire life, but I’ve also managed to avoid traumatic experiences caused by men thus giving me still a glimpse of hope in dating life. πŸ˜€

There are ways to eliminate the douchebags early on without having to call the FBI.πŸ˜‰(Since the local police is totally useless bullies.) Here’s a list of twenty tricks and warning signals that have personally worked for me:

  1. My simple but effective tactic is to simply not give the man what he wants. I’m not saying it’s 100% rain proof tactic, but so far it has worked for me. The good guys can wait, trust me. Some may argue that there are exceptions who will tactically wait and please until you give them what they want, but most douchebags aren’t willing to wait for months. Psychopaths are a whole different story and I’m not medically trained to write about them. (even though I’ve come across few). A basic douchebag though, a typical dude who shows off his new golf bag, loves his boat shoes and brags about his famous friends won’t however wait. He will sleep with someone who is ten years younger than you and then brag to you what she did that you didn’t do. Busted! πŸ˜„ ✌️
  2. Date a feminist man. A feminist man who respects his mother and understands what you feel and is ready to be flexible and wait for you is the best man you can ever hope for. Just look at Prince Harry. Raised by his sweetheart feminist mother Princess Diana. She was a true classy lady who raised two well behaved and respectful boys.
  3. Intelligence matters regardless of a man’s upbringing. I don’t mean that if a man is a douchebag it’s his mother’s fault. A society plays a big role too and how emotionally intelligent the man is. For example, if a man has witnessed his own mother get abused by her husband (his father), the man will either mimic the behavior or become a feminist who would never ever harm a woman. Cultural differences of course play a big role, but I grew up in Europe (but was born/ lived in the States too) so referring to my own experiences.
  4. Date an artist. One thing in common with the sweetest men out there from my experience is their artistic nature. Not cold blooded sales guys or nit picky engineers who find every pimple and stretch mark in your body. DJs, singers, dancers and the sons of artistic mothers. Though I must admit that one of the most horrible men I have ever met was a photographer from Finland. I guess there are exceptions, but generally artsy men have empathy that every woman needs. Also, since I’m an empathetic person, I highly value it.
  5. Pay attention to passive-aggressive remarks. If he points out a tiny scar on your leg or says your eyebags are horrible or you need a boob job, chances are he will never stop and finds your EVERY pimple, wrinkle, scar, grey hair etc. if you stay with him. So RUN! FAST!
  6. Notice the microexpressions. I’ve busted racists, liars, bullies, and douchebags by simply paying attention to his microexpressions. For example, disgust, fear and happiness are easy to catch if you pay attention.The funniest part is that they all think I don’t notice and they can fool me. Oh I notice, but sometimes it’s nice to play along to see what the fuck they want from me. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  7. Check how he behaves with other women when you’re with him. If he stares at hot women when you’re sitting next to him, if he calls your friends fat, ugly etc. or brings his hotter female friends to your date. Total douchebag moves. He will end up with a submissive woman who will never say No to anything. πŸ˜”
  8. He starts asking very personal questions very early on or very specific opinions about certain countries or people. Especially if he has a connection to your haters via Facebook, Linkedin, work etc.. there’s something fishy. (He is a snake!🐍) For example, nationalist extremists have asked foreign guys to ask me out on a date to get my opinion about Finland. If I simply say I’ve been bullied here and haven’t found work, these psychos use this against me to claim I’m anti-white and other bullshit these vicious evil people use as a propaganda tool to spread hatred towards foreigners and non-white people. Imagine being so threatened by a random mixed race woman’s presence. Being pathetic AF reached a whole new low. 🀯🀣
  9. It takes him five hours to reply to a text without an explanation or a week to reply to an email without an apology. The biggest douchebags though are the ones who simply won’t reply at all. πŸ˜‚ That’s why I have made it a habit to ALWAYS reply to people no matter how I feel about them.
  10. He talks shit about other races. Even if you are not from another race or mixed race or from the race he talks crap about, he is a total loser. πŸ˜‚ Racists are losers and only losers want to date other losers.
  11. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends when you see them. Rude and disrespectful.
  12. He asks you out on a date but doesn’t pay for you. Maybe he realizes half way through the date that you are not into him and doesn’t want to “waste” money. πŸ˜‚ DOUCHEBAG. πŸ˜‚
  13. He knows you have been continuously bullied by racists and jealous women but simply doesn’t care to come rescue you from another country. Men who enjoy seeing you suffer are not only douchebags but weak sadists. Never forget and never forgive them.
  14. He trash talks everyone, especially women who do not like him, his exes, his mother, female colleagues etc. A man who finds faults in every single woman is a misogynist. Even if you cater to his every wish he will find something to whine about. RUN!!
  15. He claims you’re a lesbian and literally tells EVERYONE, hacks your computer to find “proof”, asks women to flirt with you to get “proof” and finally turns all your female friends against you and makes other women treat you like shit to make sure you wouldn’t be “attracted” to them!!!🀯🀯🀣, because you think he is repulsive garbage. Seriously, some adult men are worse than kids and I know the difference because I’ve been a (substitute) teacher. Chances are this dude (fake macho a-hole who hates gays) is actually gay himself because that level of obsession comes from somewhere! I know I dotched a few bullets there. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  16. He manipulates men who were once nice to you to treat you like garbage so he would look better. This simply doesn’t work on smart women. Sorry losers. He also makes your good-looking male FRIENDS disappear because he is so insecure about himself that he doesn’t trust you. πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
  17. He destroys your career so you would be less “annoying independent feminist” and be dependent on a man’s money. A DOUCHEBAG misogynist man’s money, because dear fucking lord if a feminist woman tries to find happiness and a man who is NORMAL!! πŸ˜†
  18. He likes alcohol more than you. Partying together when you’re in your 20s is fun, but if the alcohol consumption doesn’t decrease by the age, it’s not worth it. I have for example limited A LOT of my alcohol intake after hitting the 30s. Two glasses of red wine 1-3 times a week is considered even healthy. 🍷
  19. He treats his pets poorly. One of the first signs of an abusive person is that he disrespects animals. It can be as subtle as not leaving water for his pet for the whole day. Oddly they also come up with weird excuses why his pet doesn’t need water. πŸ˜‚ I also don’t see the point in hunting (since you can just buy your food from the grocesory stores) other than douchebags getting pleasure in killing innocent animals and watching them die. Evil.
  20. He HATES cats and doesn’t hide it. 😸 I would never get a pet snake for example, but I also spend zero time in trash talking pet snakes. A douchebag, however, might own a dog or a reptile, but something about cats that makes his blood boil and openly expresses his hatred towards them. You know what it is? It’s the cats stubborn nature. Cats are often called assholes BY assholes.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜Έ Douchebags can’t stand someone or something that doesn’t obey them, cater to their every wish and is independent and non-needy. As we all know, cats simply won’t do shit they do not want to do.😹 Neither do smart independent women who are hated by douchebags. πŸ˜‰

There’s nothing humorous about abusive relationships, misogyny, bullying and other illegal bullshit women have to deal with almost in daily basis. I hope you enjoyed reading it though and would love to hear your experiences. Send me your comments from the Contact page.βœŒοΈπŸ’–

Don’t be a douchebag. Buy your date/ crush a cute gift or roses regardless of their age. πŸ’–πŸŒΊ(yes I got these gifts from men BEFORE I started this blog.πŸ˜‚βœŒοΈ) Photo: Sonia Jain