What Is a Date and What Makes a Date Successful?

There seems to be a lot of confusion of what is a date. Who defines what is a date, just like who defines a relationship, a friendship etc.? I think a common unwritten rule that most people follow when defining a date is that when two people get to know each other in a private or public setting without inviting other people to join you. Sometimes I have created confusion by asking for help from men though. πŸ˜– That’s why being poor and single is tricky, you can’t afford a lawyer but need legal advice because some crazy ass LOSERS just won’t leave you the fuck alone. πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

So what is a date for you might not actually be a date for the other person UNLESS you both agree and communite in a way that makes it a date. Here’s my simple list of what I consider is a date. I would love to hear your comments and you’re welcome to agree or disagree with me. 😊✌️

  1. If a man/ woman asks you out just the two of you because he/ she SAYS he/ she is interested in getting to know you better because you are intelligent/ attractive/ funny/ rich/ ethical/ confident/ honest etc. whatever shit you’re into. πŸ˜€
  2. Don’t disguise your interest in dating someone as a job offer, asking for legal help, asking to work together in a project etc. It will get super confusing super quickly. This is where the most problems have arised in my dating life.
  3. Inviting someone to a big party is not a date. It’s being friendly to an interesting person. πŸ™‚ (it might lead to a date though. Safe way to know a bit more of a person before you ask her/ him on a date.)
  4. Communication is the KEY. Be honest about what you want. If you want to date someone, just have a fling, just get legal advice, just show off to your friends or have a baby to please the crazy ass government (and after the baby is born you ghost the person).πŸ˜‚ Don’t USE people. If someone wants just a fling, there are plenty of people who are also looking for just a fling. You don’t need to trick women/ men who are looking for a serious relationship with empty promises of a relationship when all you want is sex or help in some random shit. πŸ˜‚Everyone appreciates HONESTY. You would be surprised how many women are willing to have an open relationship if that’s your thing. Pick them wisely.
  5. When two people go on a date, the key difference is if you are attracted to each other or not. Initial attraction can also fade DURING the date if one of you says something insulting for example. So this is also important to keep in mind, that if you are interested in someone and ask her/ him out but then lose interest during the date, it’s your responsibility as an ADULT to inform the person why. If a man says something stupid and doesn’t realize it, raising the topic might save the friendship. People are NOT mind readers. A total dealbreaker for me is racism/ misogyny though. How the fuck do some men expect to date a brown woman and hate brown people AND women?🀣 🀷🏼
  6. Ghosting is the worst thing you can do. It’s for weak COWARDS. If you like someone, say it. If you don’t like someone, fucking say it! πŸ˜‚ Ghosting means you disappear without a word and stop answering texts/ phone calls. I never had a man do this to me but some female friends disappeared from my life without a word. It’s pathetic. It’s even worse with dating and I can tell you that that kind of little bitch behavior will create A LOT of resentment and thirst for revenge. So always be polite when ending relationships, because even the nicest women AND the most helpful friends have their limits! ☠️
  7. When I was in my 20s, I went on a date with a hot model guy. We didn’t even kiss after the movie even though we had fun and we found each other attractive. I was super busy with my studies and friends back then. I didn’t have time to call/ text him at all. Then I got a call from him like two weeks later or something and he asked if I’m still interested since we didn’t keep contact etc. We both agreed that this isn’t really working since I was busy with my studies and friends, he was busy with his modeling and work and neither of us was really looking to settle down in our 20s. Eventually he left the country (like most of my friends). πŸ˜‚ This is however, a perfect example of great communication and ending things in a friendly tone. ❀️
  8. If you are the traveling type like I am, settling down can be challenging. It’s important to live/ move to a country you actually want to settle down in. Otherwise it will make dating a living nightmare like in my case. I live in Finland where men want to settle here, but I don’t. πŸ˜‚ So this is the number one thing to find out when you go out on a date. Nothing is worse than keeping your partner a miserable, sad, and bitter hostage somewhere where she/ he totally doesn’t want to be. This can be especially tricky for expats. This might also lead to breakups. Possibly even alcohol problems, depression and worst case suicide! Is your job really worth killing your partner??
  9. I have given baked goods as gifts to men, my (hot) landlord, my friends etc. This is also confusing if you don’t explain the meaning. So if you want a discount in your rent, a favor, or a romantic date, it’s better to be clear about it. ☺️
  10. In some cases you should just openly ask “Do you want to go on a date with me”, or “Is this a date? πŸ˜€” so then the mood will be set right, the expectations will be some what on point (though never expect ANYTHING on a FIRST date). It will keep things interesting and possibly lead to another date.
  11. When you finally do go on a date, it’s important to be yourself. Don’t pretend to be fancy by eating a hamburger with a fork and knife. πŸ˜† It won’t give you extra brownie points but rather be amusing. πŸ˜ƒ Don’t try too hard dear women and men. The right people will love you for who you are. ❀️
  12. After the first date, also keep in mind that it doesn’t automatically mean you are exclusively dating or you “own” the other person now. πŸ˜‚I’ve had men claim I’m “untrustworthy” after I had ONE date with them and continued to hangout with my male friends and went on a date with someone else. πŸ˜…πŸ™„ C’mon people, you have to AGREE that you are exclusively dating first! You are allowed to see other people at the same time, just remember to be honest or tell the other person. Just don’t start gossiping like a whiny little bitch if some woman doesn’t read your fucking mind what you want after the FIRST date when you aren’t brave enough to say what you want out loud ok?! πŸ˜‚ ❀️

I hope you now have a better understanding of what is a date and what makes a date successful. πŸ™‚πŸ™ƒ Please send me a message if you would like to know more about my dating tips and purchase my dating guide.

A date is when someone asks you out just the TWO of you, because she/ he wants to get to know you better. Sometimes you get/ bring a gift or flowers. The color of the flowers is also important. It says about the personality of the giver/ receiver. Yellow roses are bright, happy and not too in your face for romance (on a first date it’s good to be less pushy before you know each other’s personalities). I got these pretty yellow roses from a nice man. πŸ’› Photo: Sonia Jain

Travel Smart When You’re Alone And on a Budget

You can travel even when you are unemployed. A great trick is to utilize job interviews. Big companies will pay for your trip even if they decide not to hire you or you decline the job. So if you can’t find ANY glamour in being single and unemployed, then at least you are free to go where ever the fuck you want without having to ask for anyone’s permission or taking anyone’s feelings into consideration. πŸ˜ƒ If you are tight with money, apply for a job in an international company and if they are interested, they’ll pay for your trip for the job interview/ relocation costs to move to the location of the job. Even a basic shitty zero talent required call center job will do that in Europe. As long as you speak some exotic language like Finnish or Portuguese. For Americans, China and Japan pay huge salaries for teaching English (with an American accent). I’ve talked to some young American women who even went to Istanbul to teach English.

You can also do it online and save money to travel abroad. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. People will say you’re selfish if you travel and they’ll say you have a hidden agenda if you don’t travel and help your old retired relatives. 🀣 Cheap people will always find some fucking thing to whine about so FUCK THEM and do your thing.

You have to be smart when you travel alone, especially as a single woman. I have avoided “dangerous” countries and picked safe spots like Thailand, Luxembourg, Bulgaria, Germany and my favourite, New York City! Some may argue that NYC is not that safe, but actually, it’s the hub for highly educated talented single career women (and men). Funnily, Sex and the City TV- show inspired a rush of young fashionistas to move to the city and there might be even more young single women than men. Unfortunately, I failed to establish my career there and had to return back to square one. Sabotaging someone’s efforts to establish an international career is not cool AT ALL and doesn’t help anyone. Wouldn’t it be a win-win to EVERYONE if young talent could actually go abroad and use their talent, earn their own money and then come back with their own fucking money instead of forcing them to do shit they do not want to do?! 🀣 I think any government would be happy to have smart hard-working young talent that actually want to earn their own money (regardless WHERE they earn their money..) instead of living on social benefits like a loser. Babies can come later and the LAME AF excuse I have gotten from people is that I’m “in the age of having babies”. 🀣Wrong, I need a man to have a baby and MONEY. The baby won’t eat air, so obviously I need to have a (high paying) job first. Babies and shoes are fucking expensive Ok??🀣

Even if you are broke AF, you can travel abroad alone. You just have to pick locations that are not very expensive, keep on a budget and maybe even try to earn some money while traveling! Every country has their own rules and regulations about unemployment, but most European countries have a “union system”. You pay an annual membership fee and if you lose your job, you get like 80% of your salary for two years. This is a good system, especially if you were viciously bullied in the previous workplace and need a break. Usually people find a job during this time, but unfortunately in my case my unemployment seems to be a neverending hell. So then you just have to do random jobs, like sales promotion gigs (e.g. handing out flyers is LAME, but it’s grass root marketing and pays OK, better than McDonald’s cashier) and other low paying jobs totally not worth your Master’s. πŸ˜–Here’s a list of countries I have travelled to while being single and unemployed. By the way, I also LOVE to combine trips to save a buck. So if I’m in Central Europe, I’ll take a cheap train to a nearby country etc..

  1. NYC. I went there three times for JOB HUNTING and all my plane tickets cost less than 500€. On one of my trips there, I worked two weeks at Marimekko store in UES in Manhattan to earn some cash. Once I stayed with family friends to save rent money and then I also found cheap shared apartments on Craigslist.
  2. Paris, France. European flights are cheap especially if you know all the bargain websites. Book early and travel lightly!
  3. Galway, Ireland. I travelled with my own money to check a call center job offer I got, but decided not to accept it for personal reasons. Again, not that expensive, took a plane to Dublin and a train to Galway and then a bus to my hotel. Travel lightly so you don’t need to take a taxi everywhere.
  4. Sofia, Bulgaria. I went there for a call center job. My travel expenses were paid by the company and first two weeks in a hotel. Sadly, I got fired. πŸ˜…πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  5. Mumbai, India. I stayed with relatives to avoid hotel expenses. If you don’t have relatives abroad, find cheap hotels and go with friends.
  6. Bangkok, Thailand. I took a cheap flight from Mumbai since I was already in that part of the globe. Nice hotels are also MUCH cheaper than in Europe/ the States.
  7. Malta. I went there for an online casino job and my travel expenses were paid by the company and first two weeks of accommondation. Sadly, I got fired AGAIN. πŸ˜…πŸ˜«
  8. Tallinn, Estonia. There are cheap boat trips from Helsinki for like 20€ with return. People are beautiful, friendly and very helpful. Prices are very reasonable too.
  9. Luxembourg. Found a cheap flight and stayed with a friend. The cheapest way to travel is to travel with friends or alone and stay with friends/ relatives. If you don’t have friends, find trustworthy travel buddies online. (There are websites for it.)
  10. Trier, Germany. I took a cheap train from Luxembourg, paid in total like 20€ with return.

People will get jealous if you travel when you are unemployed, they will question where did you get money to travel and did you do something shady. πŸ˜‚ There’s no cure for jealousy. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, but since so many “lovely” people have accused me of BULLSHIT, here’s a very simple blog post how to fucking travel while being unemployed, without having to do prostitution, rob a bank or squeeze money from your retired relatives!!🀣

Sonia enjoying life and checking out cultural stuff in Malta in 2017! She got a low skilled JOB (totally not worth her Master’s) there, the company paid her travel expenses and rent for first two weeks. πŸ’―πŸŒ

How to Get Into a Relationship Without Going on a Date?

Dating is complicated and there are too many articles about it and that’s why my blog doesn’t solely focus on dating topics. I write about managing your budget and loneliness when living alone and perhaps you’re also looking for work etc..In any case, most people want to get in to a relationship. The problem is, how to get into a relationship without going on dates when randoms criticize your dating life? πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

This is a problem for both women and men. Women are VERY often branded as “sluts”, “gold diggers” and “easy hoes” if they didn’t marry the first fucking guys who asked them out and paid for their dinner. Guys are branded as “serial daters” or “players” and “wasting money” if they go out with several women. So women are sluts and men waste money on stupid dinners that most often do not even lead to sex. πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ (see the misogynist comparison BOTH men and women use, men waste money for a dinner with a woman if the woman doesn’t have sex with him! πŸ™„πŸ˜‘πŸ€―)

So how are we supposed to get into a relationship then? I’ve had discussions about artificial intelligence “dating sites” that can choose the right person for you. Is life really that complicated though? Why do people talk so much crap about singles trying to find a partner? Why are we not allowed to explore the pool? Why settle? I have noticed that the people with the biggest problem with mingling singles are the people who settled (with the wrong person). They are bummed out that they didn’t go on that date with the 5th or 8th interesting person they met but instead settled too early, didn’t have time to explore the world, have sex, and enjoy life because apparently the married/ settled life is not exciting enough for them to keep their fucking mouths shut about mingling singles. 🀣🀣

I have been on a date with several men from different countries, dinner, coffee, tea. Getting to know each other before getting involved in anything serious. Funnily, some people have said I’m a slut/ doing prostitution even though I don’t have sex (or even kiss) the man after having dinner/ coffee/ tea. So what’s the big deal? Some men claim I’m using men for free food. (Yes I wrote that in my other blog post, caught me there.😝) However, the thing is, I NEVER go out with a man who is totally uninteresting to me AND if the man turns out to be a douchebag DURING the date, it’s only fair he will pay for the dinner if HE asked me out in the first place. There’s always something that intrigues me (not necessarily money), but intelligence, anarchy, looks, humor, interesting stories and when you’re past 30 years old, you also tend to value stability A LOT. A man’s lifestyle and values are very important and goes above everything else. You can be rich and hot but a total a-hole when it comes to values. You can also be ugly and poor and still be an a-hole when it comes to treating women right. πŸ˜† (Same goes for women too though.) Anyway, one of my female friends told me a story about a guy who asked her out, offered her 1€ coffee and then when the bill came, made her fucking pay for it! 🀣 Even if you’re a broke student etc., that is incredibly rude. You know you could just meet somewhere else than a cafe. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†

There are no written rules for who will turn out to be the best one FOR YOU, so you just need to explore the pool the old-fashioned way. If someone tries to mock you for being a mingling single, politely remind them that Hitler was married too and it sure as fuck didn’t make him a better person. πŸ€£πŸ˜…

In case you need help in how to behave on a date, please contact me about my dating guide. They are my real life experiences (good and bad) about dating in my 20-30s. Can be applied to all ages. It’s a PDF and very reasonable price and I can guarantee you that if you follow all my tips, you will get a date. Please contact me on my contact page.β˜ΊοΈπŸ•ΊπŸ»

Going on a dinner date is OK even if it doesn’t lead to anything. Anyone thinking any different is an idiot and should stick to offering 1€ coffee (or make the woman pay for the fucking 1€ coffee 🀣) and be prepared to be alone forever. (Dinner/ lunch like this risotto I was offered by a polite man can be 15-20€ and still be awesome OR a home cooked meal FYI. Read my blog post about 2€ meals under Finances section.) Photo: Sonia Jain

Where Are All My Friends?

When you are job hunting, your mood changes. You become irritable, stressed, your self-esteem decreases and sometimes you can even get depressed. It only gets worse the longer you are unemployed unfortunately. Especially if you don’t have a support network. Family, friends and a partner are the best support network you can have when you don’t have (nice) work colleagues.

Unfortunately, some people simply can’t handle negative emotions. Job hunting can make you bitter and lash out at the wrong people. Some friends will simply lose interest because you don’t have money anymore to go out like you used to or they only like the “fun” you. When the shit gets real, you realize who your true friends are. In my case in Finland, none. You also make the perfect victim for sadistic bullying. Here are some vicious things I’ve experienced since I became officially unemployed (and single) in 2013 in Finland. Bullying makes me blood boil, especially when a whole country gangs up on you when you try to struggle alone, so I use the word fuck a lot on this post. πŸ˜‚

  1. The worst thing you can do is to punish your unemployed friend by isolating her, stop inviting her to places and then blame her for being too “boring”.
  2. Bullying the unemployed friend for her financial struggles is lame. Especially if she is fucking brave enough to be honest about them. A-holes will be a-holes. You also never know when the tables will turn and you’ll be in the same situation, so treat others the way want to be treated.
  3. Don’t brag about your expensive stuff to your unemployed friend, when you are well aware of her struggles.
  4. Don’t show off your boyfriend. Nothing wrong in expressing happiness, but to deliberately rub it on someone’s face who’s struggling alone is a dick move. Insecure women do this a lot. 🀣They think random women will steal their boyfriends if they don’t prove to the whole world how “happy” they are. Awww. We all know what’s really going on. The show is getting A BIT old. 🀭
  5. Stop telling an unemployed person to go to therapy when you’re well aware of she can’t fucking afford it.
  6. Stop generally giving unsolicited advice. If someone has survived the worst job ever, got rejected from every job application after that and somehow managed to pay her bills, not to mention some family struggles then who the fuck are you to tell her to stop whining and be grateful? πŸ˜„ This “be grateful” BS is the most annoying thing randoms tell you.
  7. People who only see negativity in others are negative themselves. I think I’ve been called a “negative person” by five people in total and they have all been from Finland. Before you go out saying shit like that make sure you understand what is a negative person. A negative person does NOT try to find a job for SEVEN fucking years, move to a new country three times for work just to get fired and then try again in another country, move 10 times to a new apartment after being harassed, deal with racist garbage bullies alone, stay hopeful in dating after getting burned by a million guys, pay all her bills alone, watch her mother’s health deteriorate year by year and yet somehow always help others with a smile on her face. So #STFU!! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€šπŸΌ
  8. Some women are the biggest snakes. Jealousy, racism whatever the reason. As a mixed race woman I have faced it all. It’s sad to realize that your female friends were actually just trash talking racist/ nazi/ jealous snakes after you supported them and spent time with them when they felt sad and lonely, when their boyfriends cheated on them, employers sexually harassed them and one even got cancer treatments (and I was there to help her.) Just like Meghan Markle, pointing fingers and finding flaws and calling an innocent empathetic person a selfish demanding bad person is a common tactic for racists to use to spread their hateful propaganda and to try to stop “race mixing”. Good luck in trying LOSERS. Do these bitches really think they’ll attract quality men by sabotaging other women?? What I’ve seen, they attract abusive, nit picky even violent men, so have “fun” with your men. πŸ˜†πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸΌ
  9. My “friends” told all my secrets to my haters, lied about my mental health to make me look like a crazy person (apparently using the word “fuck”‘ is for the mentally illπŸ€”πŸ€£πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ) and deliberately sabotaged my efforts to leave Finland and actually be happy because they themselves have no fucking clue how to be happy.
  10. A-hole neighbors whine that you work out in your apartment 30min/ 3 times a week during the fucking day.🀣 But of course they’re allowed to party at 2am!!!πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  11. Some people think it’s funny to rip off your pennies and fuck up your hair and eyebrows DELIBERATELY and make-up and other cosmetics that you paid full price for! There’s no cure for the disability called racism unfortunately. It’s not going to make you prettier by making me uglier. πŸ–•πŸΌ
  12. Sabotaged my coffee (and some food too!) with laxatives. πŸ’© Again only an abnormal brain will do something like this.
  13. Sabotaged my cats’ food with laxatives and now my fucking cats are paranoid to eat their food. So fuck you.
  14. A-hole men will try to date you when you are an easy target who needs shelter and food. 🀣 They claim all their exes have been supermodels, but well.. The “love drugs” work on only some women. 🀭 πŸ€£πŸ˜†They’ll also call you ugly if don’t want to date them (for their money, because obviously if they were confident they would have asked you out when you had a job OR help you get a job and then date you! πŸ˜€) What’s the deal with men who don’t take care of their looks AT ALL yet expect to date only hot models?πŸ˜‚ I think if the woman is not blind or on drugs, she will cheat on you. Just saying, if you expect your woman to look hot, you should too.
  15. Misogyny. Some men think if they hire you, you will sue them for sexual harassment because one paranoid low IQ loser couldn’t keep his fucked up paranoia to himself so he had to ruin my career instead of getting therapy for himself. πŸ˜‚πŸ™„πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
  16. Bullies provoked me, couldn’t handle my reaction and then claim I have “bad leadership skills”. Where the fuck is the document that says anything about me wanting to lead anyone/ anything?! Especially YOU?! Like why would I have any interest in becoming the leader of a group of pathetic bullies? 🀣 πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈMy career goals do not concern anyone. Funnily, the same people who ruined my career, think I want to now listen to their “career advice”. Fuck no. Bye. 🀣
  17. Something about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry that triggered the most pathetic shit show ever among some women. 🀣Since they can’t get their hands on Meghan, poor me makes the perfect target for these insecure little bullying psycho bitches. FAIL. πŸ€£πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
  18. Some men mock crying because they can’t cry/ feel emotions. They’re DEAD inside. ☠️I would rather cry every day than not be able to enjoy ANYTHING and feel NOTHING, and be so empty inside that I have to cheat on my spouse/ torment random people/ be a general nuisance because someone didn’t get enough attention as a kid. 🀣When kids can’t get attention from their parents, they start misbehaving and try to get attention with negative behavior. Some adults never grow out of this because they simply don’t have the skills to get positive attention. This is how bullies will always exist and climb up the ladder to power positions, making it a neverending vicious cycle of garbage.
  19. Psycho men will manipulate older women to treat you like garbage, because they’re easy scapegoats instead of the weak psychopath man actually taking responsibility of his horrible personality and taste for sadism and drama. These type of men have also A LOT of issues with older women (mommy issues perhaps?) and that is why they target younger women, but put the blame on older women as “jealousy, cat fight” whatever misogynist BS these weak men can come up with. It might have worked in my case, if I didn’t have so positive experiences with ALL women, my female friends, relatives, colleagues etc. BEFORE I came across a couple of revengeful psychopath men at work. 🀣
  20. Your struggles bring out the worst in WEAK people. Weak people attack vulnerable people. They will patiently wait for the opportunity to see you in a weak moment literally for YEARS. They’ll also get more encouraged and go ballisticly INSANE if you actually have the balls to tell them to stop fucking bullying you! Especially cheap trash perfume, AC and ILLEGAL drowsy medication (to see how long it will take for me to die in a car crash) seems to be a “fun” thing to torment me with. πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸΌThen they continue to laugh at you, mock you, isolate you and hope you would just die alone. When they are not there for you for your struggles, don’t expect the friend you abandoned to even spit at your direction when she will be successful again. πŸ€£πŸ’ƒπŸ½βœˆοΈ

Bullying is never ok and just because YOU were bullied and it made your life shit, doesn’t give you the right to pass on your misery to perfectly happy content people like me. So be kind to each other. There are better ways to deal with the traumas of bullying than pass on the misery and force others to experience the cruelties you were forced to experience. I can tell you that nobody gives a flying fuck about you if you FORCE randoms to experience your shitty problems. Better way is to ASK for empathy and understanding, but these type of people don’t unfortunately understand how empathy works and definitely do NOT deserve it. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ’– People might laugh at me for being alone and unemployed, but I laugh at them for being more concerned about my problems than actually enjoy their own lives. Now that IS pathetic.

Bullying is for losers. Bullying is a disability (lack of human emotions). Sabotaging someone’s coffee is not funny. Only an abnormal fucked up brain will do something like that. Good luck losers and I can promise you, you picked the wrong fucking victim. πŸ€£β˜ οΈπŸ‘πŸΌ Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Defeat Boredom When You are Job Hunting

Job hunting is stressful. As is finding a partner. Doing both at the same time can be soul crushing. Even if you spend your days in looking for work, go on occasional dates and try to earn a buck to pay your bills by doing low skilled jobs (totally NOT worth your Master’s degree, because racism is “awesome” in Europe!!🀣), you will eventually get bored. Especially if you are blacklisted from the job market and NOBODY wants to help you find a job (500+ Linkedin connections are useless when you REALLY need them). πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

I think the “geniuses get their best ideas alone, crazy and bored” concept is totally OVERRATED BS and does NOT work or then I’m just simply not smart enough to come up with a billion dollar business plan when I’m been constantly mentally tortured! πŸ˜‚ I hate spending time alone and that’s why I live in the WORST country for my personality (Finland). Anyhow, here are 30 things I have done to defeat boredom (because there’s a limit how much you can spend on writing your freaking job applications per day ok??!). These can be utilized for your mental health as well, because obviously excess boredom and isolation decreases your mental wellbeing A LOT.

  1. Watched cake videos. πŸŽ‚ It’s amazing to see how they create beautiful (and tasty!) art from cakes and sugar. It’s very relaxing and satisfying to see these perfect cakes.
  2. Sent more than 200 job applications in seven years and FAILED. (Most of them to Finland, because apparently I’m not Finnish= white enough to be hired for a job worth my fucking Master’s degree. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ)
  3. Went to Malta for work, got fired and spent two months looking for work and attended eleven job interviews! (Eleven in two months vs. three in SEVEN YEARS in Finland!) Unfortunately the industry was apparently wrong for me so no luck in getting a job or something fishy. πŸ€”
  4. Binge watched TV shows, such as Desperate Housewives, The Handmaid’s Tale, Good Behavior, White Collar, Criminal Minds, New Girl, The Mindy Project, Family Guy etc..
  5. Literally attended tens of CV improvement courses and even bought a book about cover letters in a work in a library in NYC. Didn’t help me unfortunately.
  6. Attended job searching courses/ unemployment office events/ generally hanged out in the unemployment office. πŸ˜†
  7. Volunteered for Unicef, UN Women, Amnesty and Finnish Animal Welfare Society. Turns out they are more than happy to take my free help, but not actually PAY me and hire me for a real job. 🀣 πŸ‘πŸΌ
  8. Spent excess time with my cats (they are kind of like my children now ahaha). 🐈
  9. Drank A LOT of wine. 🍷🍷
  10. Joined different networking organisations and went to SO many different networking events with ZERO luck in finding work. Met a lot of cool new people though! πŸ’―
  11. Went to local church events to try to find new friends, failed. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
  12. Joined Twitter and have tweeted more than 5000 times. (doesn’t include all the deleted (rage)tweets.)
  13. Created Instagram for myself and one for my cats. Have updated them regularly with pictures I have taken myself.
  14. Tried to become a Marketing Consultant, created a professional Facebook account (in addition to my other FB account) and a Facebook page for my new “business”, but failed to get clients. ☹️
  15. Learned how to use WordPress and started blogging after SEVEN years of sending bullshit applications and getting rejected from everything and getting mocked by everyone.
  16. Did free online courses by Google Digital Garage and got a certificate for one course. Hopefully it will be useful in finding some work. ✌️
  17. Exercised a lot, checked my weight every day and tracked what I eat but eventually got bored of counting my calorie intake (especially when you’re single) and started eating cakes again. πŸŽ‚
  18. Got a job in Bulgaria, got fired and returned back to square one.
  19. Traveled for leisure when I had money. 🌴
  20. Read a few books. πŸ“š
  21. Organized monthly events for an international expat group. Met so many well travelled cool people! πŸŒπŸ’―
  22. Went to NYC alone, found an apartment from Craigslist, networked with a bunch of people, skipped parties to write my fucking job applications (!), sent job applications, attended job interviews, missed my flight back to Finland, stayed and sent more job applications, and finally FAILED. 😫
  23. Drove around in a tram/ bus to pass time. πŸ˜†
  24. Went shopping in random locations just to get out of the house.
  25. Tried to talk to Finnish mental health professionals but their arrogant white supremacist attitude and condescending way of talking to me, made me NEVER want to see another mental health professional in this country ever again. ☹️
  26. Helped my old retired relatives.
  27. Worked all shitty jobs not worth my Master’s. Funny how some people love to see you do their dirty work for them but whine if you actually have a real job. ( I have been bullied in every office job I’ve had in Finland.)
  28. Experimented with new cooking recipes.
  29. Ate too much cake and chocolate. 🍫🧁
  30. Sat home alone most weekends and wished that I was in NYC. πŸ˜”πŸ—½

I hope I inspired someone who is also job hunting, haven’t managed to find a job worth her/ his degree, all the singles out there and anyone who needs encouragement and tips how to handle excess time (in more or less productive ways😝). Remember to be grateful (because that will pay the bills. NOT.) Sending positive vibes to everyone in any case!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¬βœŒοΈ

I have done A LOT of things to defeat boredom while job hunting (and being single.) Especially when the NGOs you volunteer for free don’t actually want to hire you for a real job. ( I applied to a few in Finland and they hired their white female friends instead.πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ) Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Avoid Dating Douchebags

Single life can be challenging in many ways, but there are some positive aspects too. It’s always better to be single than in an abusive relationship. I have managed to avoid abusive relationships by noticing the red flags EARLY on (in addition to my commitment phobiaπŸ˜›). It might be the reason I’ve been single almost my entire life, but I’ve also managed to avoid traumatic experiences caused by men thus giving me still a glimpse of hope in dating life. πŸ˜€

There are ways to eliminate the douchebags early on without having to call the FBI.πŸ˜‰(Since the local police is totally useless bullies.) Here’s a list of twenty tricks and warning signals that have personally worked for me:

  1. My simple but effective tactic is to simply not give the man what he wants. I’m not saying it’s 100% rain proof tactic, but so far it has worked for me. The good guys can wait, trust me. Some may argue that there are exceptions who will tactically wait and please until you give them what they want, but most douchebags aren’t willing to wait for months. Psychopaths are a whole different story and I’m not medically trained to write about them. (even though I’ve come across few). A basic douchebag though, a typical dude who shows off his new golf bag, loves his boat shoes and brags about his famous friends won’t however wait. He will sleep with someone who is ten years younger than you and then brag to you what she did that you didn’t do. Busted! πŸ˜„ ✌️
  2. Date a feminist man. A feminist man who respects his mother and understands what you feel and is ready to be flexible and wait for you is the best man you can ever hope for. Just look at Prince Harry. Raised by his sweetheart feminist mother Princess Diana. She was a true classy lady who raised two well behaved and respectful boys.
  3. Intelligence matters regardless of a man’s upbringing. I don’t mean that if a man is a douchebag it’s his mother’s fault. A society plays a big role too and how emotionally intelligent the man is. For example, if a man has witnessed his own mother get abused by her husband (his father), the man will either mimic the behavior or become a feminist who would never ever harm a woman. Cultural differences of course play a big role, but I grew up in Europe (but was born/ lived in the States too) so referring to my own experiences.
  4. Date an artist. One thing in common with the sweetest men out there from my experience is their artistic nature. Not cold blooded sales guys or nit picky engineers who find every pimple and stretch mark in your body. DJs, singers, dancers and the sons of artistic mothers. Though I must admit that one of the most horrible men I have ever met was a photographer from Finland. I guess there are exceptions, but generally artsy men have empathy that every woman needs. Also, since I’m an empathetic person, I highly value it.
  5. Pay attention to passive-aggressive remarks. If he points out a tiny scar on your leg or says your eyebags are horrible or you need a boob job, chances are he will never stop and finds your EVERY pimple, wrinkle, scar, grey hair etc. if you stay with him. So RUN! FAST!
  6. Notice the microexpressions. I’ve busted racists, liars, bullies, and douchebags by simply paying attention to his microexpressions. For example, disgust, fear and happiness are easy to catch if you pay attention.The funniest part is that they all think I don’t notice and they can fool me. Oh I notice, but sometimes it’s nice to play along to see what the fuck they want from me. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  7. Check how he behaves with other women when you’re with him. If he stares at hot women when you’re sitting next to him, if he calls your friends fat, ugly etc. or brings his hotter female friends to your date. Total douchebag moves. He will end up with a submissive woman who will never say No to anything. πŸ˜”
  8. He starts asking very personal questions very early on or very specific opinions about certain countries or people. Especially if he has a connection to your haters via Facebook, Linkedin, work etc.. there’s something fishy. (He is a snake!🐍) For example, nationalist extremists have asked foreign guys to ask me out on a date to get my opinion about Finland. If I simply say I’ve been bullied here and haven’t found work, these psychos use this against me to claim I’m anti-white and other bullshit these vicious evil people use as a propaganda tool to spread hatred towards foreigners and non-white people. Imagine being so threatened by a random mixed race woman’s presence. Being pathetic AF reached a whole new low. 🀯🀣
  9. It takes him five hours to reply to a text without an explanation or a week to reply to an email without an apology. The biggest douchebags though are the ones who simply won’t reply at all. πŸ˜‚ That’s why I have made it a habit to ALWAYS reply to people no matter how I feel about them.
  10. He talks shit about other races. Even if you are not from another race or mixed race or from the race he talks crap about, he is a total loser. πŸ˜‚ Racists are losers and only losers want to date other losers.
  11. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends when you see them. Rude and disrespectful.
  12. He asks you out on a date but doesn’t pay for you. Maybe he realizes half way through the date that you are not into him and doesn’t want to “waste” money. πŸ˜‚ DOUCHEBAG. πŸ˜‚
  13. He knows you have been continuously bullied by racists and jealous women but simply doesn’t care to come rescue you from another country. Men who enjoy seeing you suffer are not only douchebags but weak sadists. Never forget and never forgive them.
  14. He trash talks everyone, especially women who do not like him, his exes, his mother, female colleagues etc. A man who finds faults in every single woman is a misogynist. Even if you cater to his every wish he will find something to whine about. RUN!!
  15. He claims you’re a lesbian and literally tells EVERYONE, hacks your computer to find “proof”, asks women to flirt with you to get “proof” and finally turns all your female friends against you and makes other women treat you like shit to make sure you wouldn’t be “attracted” to them!!!🀯🀯🀣, because you think he is repulsive garbage. Seriously, some adult men are worse than kids and I know the difference because I’ve been a (substitute) teacher. Chances are this dude (fake macho a-hole who hates gays) is actually gay himself because that level of obsession comes from somewhere! I know I dotched a few bullets there. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  16. He manipulates men who were once nice to you to treat you like garbage so he would look better. This simply doesn’t work on smart women. Sorry losers. He also makes your good-looking male FRIENDS disappear because he is so insecure about himself that he doesn’t trust you. πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
  17. He destroys your career so you would be less “annoying independent feminist” and be dependent on a man’s money. A DOUCHEBAG misogynist man’s money, because dear fucking lord if a feminist woman tries to find happiness and a man who is NORMAL!! πŸ˜†
  18. He likes alcohol more than you. Partying together when you’re in your 20s is fun, but if the alcohol consumption doesn’t decrease by the age, it’s not worth it. I have for example limited A LOT of my alcohol intake after hitting the 30s. Two glasses of red wine 1-3 times a week is considered even healthy. 🍷
  19. He treats his pets poorly. One of the first signs of an abusive person is that he disrespects animals. It can be as subtle as not leaving water for his pet for the whole day. Oddly they also come up with weird excuses why his pet doesn’t need water. πŸ˜‚ I also don’t see the point in hunting (since you can just buy your food from the grocesory stores) other than douchebags getting pleasure in killing innocent animals and watching them die. Evil.
  20. He HATES cats and doesn’t hide it. 😸 I would never get a pet snake for example, but I also spend zero time in trash talking pet snakes. A douchebag, however, might own a dog or a reptile, but something about cats that makes his blood boil and openly expresses his hatred towards them. You know what it is? It’s the cats stubborn nature. Cats are often called assholes BY assholes.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜Έ Douchebags can’t stand someone or something that doesn’t obey them, cater to their every wish and is independent and non-needy. As we all know, cats simply won’t do shit they do not want to do.😹 Neither do smart independent women who are hated by douchebags. πŸ˜‰

There’s nothing humorous about abusive relationships, misogyny, bullying and other illegal bullshit women have to deal with almost in daily basis. I hope you enjoyed reading it though and would love to hear your experiences. Send me your comments from the Contact page.βœŒοΈπŸ’–

Don’t be a douchebag. Buy your date/ crush a cute gift or roses regardless of their age. πŸ’–πŸŒΊ(yes I got these gifts from men BEFORE I started this blog.πŸ˜‚βœŒοΈ) Photo: Sonia Jain

Before Buying Canned Soup, Consider Cooking These Healthy and Cheap Dishes

When you are single and unemployed, it’s difficult to eat healthy, because healthy food is generally more expensive worldwide. Especially in the States and Ireland, I noticed that healthy food is not first of all available in normal stores, but it also costs a lot more. In Finland food is generally very expensive (especially when you don’t have a regular job and pay all your food expenses ALONE plus your TWO Cookie Monster cats). Healthy food is easy to find here, but it can also be expensive if you don’t know how to shop or cook your own meals.

Here are some of my favourite cheap dishes to make when you are single and unemployed or just single/ unemployed/ a student/ retired/ saving money for your kids/ on a budget. I have included the estimate price for Finland. (the food prices are higher than in the United States and an average European country like France, so chances are you will make these dishes for 30-40% cheaper). My favourite top ten cheap and quick vegetarian/ vegan dishes for less than two euros per portion (2€ = $2,16):

  1. Indian dal with rice. Red lentils, brown lentils or yellow lentils. 0,70€/ $0,76 per portion.
  2. Finnish potato-leek soup. 0,55€/ $0,59 per portion.
  3. Finnish tomato soup. 0,50€/ $0,54 per portion.
  4. Indian Palak Paneer with rice. (Indian spinach tofu/ cheese dish). 2€/ $2,16 per portion
  5. Three Bean Chili in tomato sauce (vegan). 1,20€/ $1,30 per portion
  6. Thai wok with tofu. 2€/ $2,16 per portion
  7. Salad with kidney beans – you can add anything you find in your kitchen (vegan). 2€/ $2,16 per portion
  8. Pasta with tomato eggplant sauce (vegan without parmesan). 1€/ $1,08 per portion
  9. Couscous with tofu and (frozen) vegetables. 2€/ $2,16 per portion
  10. Vegan sandwich – bread roll, hummus, cucumber/ tomato. 1,50€/ $1,62 per portion

My doctor told me to cut down wheat, so replacing pasta with fresh salads is also a good idea. Pasta is however, cheap, easy and quick, so for men and growing children it is especially a nice dish to prepare yourself. I don’t eat meat (except seafood though it’s expensive) and try to avoid dairy products as much as I can, so that is why my dishes are vegetarian/ vegan.

If you would like to have the recipes for free (most of them are from Google), please contact me via my contact form on the Contact page! πŸ™‚βœŒοΈ

6. Thai wok with tofu. (2€/ $2,16 per portion) Don’t add parsley though if you want to save a buck. IT IS expensive (at least in Finland, one fresh parsley plant costs 2 EUROS (€) ). πŸ˜† Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Date Glamorously When You’re Living Within a Budget

Dating is a challenge in any situation, especially finding THE ONE, when you’re already in your 30s and get pressure from all directions to start a family and settle. Unemployment, however, will crush your self-esteem into tiny little pieces. Especially when you have worked your ass off to do everything by the book, got your degree, got work experience, speak the necessary languages, have the helpful personality, are healthy and young etc… It’s soul crushing. 😫 So when you try to figure out how to buy food for you and your cookie monster cats, dating isn’t exactly a top priority. Yeah some may argue, that it will just be easier to get a rich husband who will pay for your food while you search for a job. Well, I tried to find one and failed. Lol. That’s why being single and unemployed IS such a tricky situation. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Don’t fall for despair though.❀️ It doesn’t help, nobody gives a flying fuck haha. Even after twelve years of crappy employers sucking the blood out of you and a bunch of a-holes looking for every pimple to point out in your body. You just have to stand tall, figure out how to find your lost confidence and then try to utilize that in the dating world. Here are some of my tips for dating when you are unemployed, don’t have many supportive friends around and are looking for a relationship. These twenty dating tips (10 Do’s and 10 Dont’s) with a twist of sarcasm are all based on my OWN real life personal experiences and can be used by both women and men. 😊 πŸ’ƒπŸ½

  1. Be honest. If your date asks you if someone has talked crap about her/ him, nothing will make you look more respectable than being totally honest. There are a lot bullies out there but the good ones (keepers!) do NOT want to date them, breath next to them or even think about their disgusting existence. So if you know shit, spill it out. Then you guys can talk together how pathetic these trash talkers are. Everyone wants a partner who will stand up for them when nobody else will. πŸ‘πŸ‘
  2. Be diplomatic, but not a doormat. I don’t keep track how many times I have been called a bitch for simply standing up for myself and calling out a douchebag for douchebag behavior. Better to be a bitch than a snake! πŸ˜ƒ Bitches have integrity, snakes don’t. Even though a snake will say the prettiest words and cater to your every wish, kind of like a blow out doll. Some men prefer mute dolls, real men prefer bitches.
  3. Cook/ bake for him/ her. I’m a baker. It’s relaxing and a great hobby. I also like to give cakes as gifts to the people I like and a good man will appreciate your cupcakes. 🧁
  4. Be encouraging and give compliments. There’s not a single person in the world who wants to be criticized and have their every flaw pointed out in their appearance. I live by the rule that if a man asks which celebrity is my favorite, I mention someone who looks like him. Men should also utilize this diplomatic/ smart tactic.
  5. Help him/ her something he/she needs. Clean the apartment, hang a painting on the wall, take care of his/ her pets etc. Don’t mix work and dating though. Offering a job when you secretly want to date her/ him will create confusion and nobody wants to look unprofessional. (Especially when job hunting.)
  6. Be direct. It depends on the person of course, but in my case I directly say what I want. Interestingly though it has attracted the wrong kind of men so far. Our society is still (worldwide, but surprisingly also in “advanced modern” Scandinavian countries too) very conservative. Women have to wait for men to approach them. I have literally scared men off by telling them directly what I want. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ So I guess this tip is for the men out there. πŸ˜€βœŒοΈ
  7. Buy flowers for her or a cute teddy bear. Women think teddy bears are cute regardless their age. 😊🐻 Any small gift is actually a sign of appreciation. (Just take off the sales tag if you buy an item on sale. Especially French cheese. 🀣)
  8. Go to a museum or art exhibition instead of a movie. It’s a good chance to talk and ask questions but with less pressure when you look at the paintings instead of staring at each other in a cafe. Busy cafes are also not that great for asking personal questions. β˜•οΈ
  9. Dress well. Ask French people how to dress well or models. You can find one model or someone who knows a model from any friend circle, job and school/ university. πŸ’ƒπŸ» πŸ•ΊπŸΌ
  10. Go dancing to a dance club, not a nightclub. Big salsa parties are great, because you blend into the crowd and nobody notices your crappy dancing skills. πŸ’ƒπŸ½πŸ˜‰
  11. Don’t call a woman schizophrenic, a drug addict, a closet lesbian who (when she take a break from being a lesbian) sleeps with every man she comes across, an alcoholic or other ridiculous (not to mention ILLEGAL) LIES if she is not into you. I’ve straight out called men out for their BS and as an “adult” mature response this is what I have received. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
  12. Douchebags can smell vulnerability. Nothing attracts assholes more than being in a financially vulnerable situation. Then there are also those exceptions, men who want to “save you”. They are rare though and still you are forced to depend on a man’s help. Nothing wrong with that but it’s dangerous if you aren’t careful who you trust. (Same goes for men, women can also exploit men in vulnerable situations.)
  13. Don’t talk in an aggressive demeaning manner to any woman. If you think you look macho, you don’t. You look pathetic. Women can be too aggressive too and sensitive men can’t handle temperamental women (like me).
  14. Stalking is NOT love. Stop getting your dating advice from psychopaths. They don’t know how to love. They conquer and control. So if you happen to a be normal man and think psychopathic behavior will get you a woman, you’re WRONG. At least a loyal woman’s love. You might get a woman, but she will betray you the first chance she gets if you unleash your psychopathy on her.πŸ˜‚ Same goes for women though, try to control your psychopathic tendencies. (Especially during your period!)
  15. Don’t be a racist and ask a woman/ man out from another race or a mixed race person. She/ he will find out eventually. 🀣
  16. Don’t encourage other people to behave worse than you just because you’re mannerless garbage who doesn’t have the skills to change himself. Especially do NOT make a woman’s friend circle abandon her and make people turn on her. It will eventually come back to bite you in the ass. Even if it will take more than SEVEN years, women do not forget or forgive this shit. Same goes for women, though men seem to be much more loyal to their male friends than female friends are to theirs.
  17. Don’t get your dating advice from a man-hater feminist woman. She will only try to discreetly sabotage your date. You have to find a feminist woman who loves men. Equally bad (or worse) are misogynist dating books that advice you to lower a woman’s self-esteem to make her “easy pray”. NO.
  18. Don’t talk about your exes! Do not demonize them, make them sound like a God’s gift on Earth or anything else. Just don’t.
  19. Don’t go on a date in a place with bad memories and traumas. Go to another city or country if you have to. Nobody needs extra drama in their lives. ✈️
  20. Don’t start demanding stuff in bed before you have committed to her. It’s important to have a mutual understanding of what both of your sexual needs are once you are in a committed relationship. It’s insulting AF to start demanding stuff before you are serious. Women aren’t idiots nobody wants to be used. (At least the worthy ones who will wipe your old ass when you’re 90.) πŸ‘πŸΌ

If you are interested in more dating tips or just want to read about my crazy dating experiences, I have written two dating guides, one for women and one for men. 🌺 They are funny and informative and sadly ALL based on my real life. πŸ˜† Not all of it is super sad though, there are still some good men out there. I have collected the best (and the worst) examples of them from my life to your guide. So if you would like to purchase it, drop me a message on Contact page. I can guarantee you 90% that you will get a date if you follow ALL of my dating instructions. Even when you’re unemployed. πŸ˜‰πŸŒΊ Drop me a message with your comments/ if you tried out my advice and how it worked out for you! ❀️

14. Try to control your psychopathic tendencies. πŸ”ͺ
(Don’t worry, I didn’t kill the monster. It’s fake blood from Halloween.πŸ˜‰) Photo: Sonia Jain

How to Dress Well Without Money

Looking glamorous without money is obviously a challenge.πŸ˜„ The good thing is though that there are some tricks to maintain your glamour even when you feel like shit, look like shit, are surrounded by shitty bullies and are totally penniless. πŸ˜‚

Here are 25 things I have done to maintain my glamour while being single and unemployed:

  1. Utilized my old good quality clothes. You all have probably some clothes you bought when you had a job in your wardrobe, but abandoned them when you lost your job. Get them out! πŸ‘—
  2. Bought clothes from flea markets/ second-hand stores.
  3. Utilized sales sections in expensive stores.
  4. Bought clothes/ shoes online for a much cheaper price.
  5. Fixed my good quality clothes/ stuff myself. For example, you can fix a hole in a sweater or an umbrella yourself instead of buying new ones.
  6. Subscribed for high-end brands’ newsletters and received campaign offers and sales by email. (and they keep reducing the prices the longer you wait)
  7. Bought classic, clean cut timeless pieces of clothing. One good quality little black dress can last for even ten years and still stay in fashion. You can use it for different occasions too, such as work, party or vacation by accessorizing this one dress differently.
  8. Took care of my shoes/ bags. Leather care is a must if you want to keep your leather shoes and bags looking good for years. Leather will last for decades if you take good care of it.
  9. Ignored the a-holes. Useless people will always talk, so to keep yourself glamorous, don’t engage in bullshit. Don’t lower your standards and values for crap people. That’s their goal, they feel intimidated for whatever reason and need validation. Nothing will make you look cheaper than lowering yourself to the level of the useless bullies. Even when the bullies have millions in their bank account and an expensive car, they make themselves look cheap AF with their behavior.
  10. Combined cheaper clothes with expensive items. You can wear a one euro T-shirt and look glamorous if you accessorize it well with more high quality items.
  11. Wore clothes that fit my body. Even if you could afford a 10 000€ dress, it will look cheap if it doesn’t fit your body type. You CAN look glamorous in a 10€ dress if it fits you perfectly. Don’t show too much skin, no matter how amazing your body is or hot the party is, because it won’t look glamorous.
  12. Maintained great hair. (even though Finnish hairstylists LOVE to fuck up my hair deliberately even when I pay full price!) Great hair is the first step to looking glamorous regardless of your financial situation. In my opinion, all men look absolutely GLAMOROUS with a beard. 😍 Not a dirty hippie beard, but a sexy short lumberjack beard.
  13. Maintained my skincare and makeup routines. Even when I can’t afford expensive skincare products. Soap and a shower go a long way when you don’t have a fucking choice. 🀣
  14. Bought good quality and comfortable shoes. It’s not very glamorous, if you can’t walk and your feet are full of blisters. You can buy good quality for a reasonable price, just look online, utilize sales and sometimes you can even buy clothes/ shoes with monthly installments. (Interest rate will of course be higher with monthly payments and you end up paying more in the end.. poor people’s problems. Sigh.)
  15. Ate healthy but cheap food. Instead of popping pills and vitamin supplements, eat fresh fruit and vegetables. Fresh vegetables aren’t very expensive either (compared to meat/ fish) and have all the vitamins you need for a healthy glow.
  16. Kept my nails short and natural. Many people seem to think long witch-like fake nails are glamorous AF, but I think it looks cheap AF. Not to mention you can’t do anything with your long nails and if you chip one, you look even more ridiculous. Then you have to constantly run to the nail salon to fix your nails and in my opinion, glamorous people don’t waste their time in useless stuff.
  17. Never tried (and never will) fake eyelashes. So many women think they look glamorous and posh, but again in my opinion (you don’t have to agree with me) they look fake and make your whole look fake. When you don’t wear any make-up, you still have your fake eyelashes on and it looks strange. Dying your eyelashes gives you a more natural look. Even if you have short eyelashes, dying your lashes will make your eyes pop out and of course a great mascara/ eyeliner. Natural eyes/ eyelashes make you look younger BTW!!
  18. Wore high heels, but not too high and accessorized them well. Who doesn’t love high heels?! They make you look glamorous, but only if you style them well and wear heels that fit you. Classic black/ nude pumps with 9-11cm heels are my favorites. You don’t trip over even if you’re a bit tipsy. πŸ˜‰πŸ‘ 
  19. Avoided hair extensions. Who doesn’t love long hair?! Men find long hair very attractive, but times also change. The modern woman can look amazing with a short and simple hairstyle. If you like to use hair extensions, try a different haircut instead. New hair color and style can make even thin hair look gorgeous and glamorous. Check how celebrities style their short hair. A new short look will also be cheaper to maintain than hair extensions.
  20. Avoided perfume/ men with strong cologne. Don’t get me wrong, I used to LOVE to splash on perfume. But now my financial situation hasn’t really allowed me to spend extra money on expensive perfumes. Think how much you will save and perfume is something nice to have but not a necessity. Deodorant, soap, shampoo and a moisturiser are MUST haves for men and women. Perfume/ cologne are not a must and especially if you use too much of it. Better to go without if you plan to attract new potential partners and want people to be near you.
  21. Drank mocktails instead of cocktails. Nobody thinks being wasted is glamorous. Maybe when you are a teenager in a music festival but chances are you will end up vomiting and whatever glamour you had… ENDS there. 🍸 You can drink alcohol and be glamorous, but for an unemployed person’s budget it’s not really worth it.(Nightclub prices). One mocktail in a nightclub in a company you actually enjoy will do the trick. I had a bad habit of drinking a lot simply because I don’t like the country where I live.
  22. Took care of my mental/ physical health. Being crazy isn’t exactly glamorous even though Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence made it cool (and broke the stigma surrounding mental health) in Silver Linings Playbook. If you can’t afford therapy like me, do other things. Exercising is number one for both mental and physical health. Spend time with your friends (if you don’t have friends like me, get a pet). Do the things you love. If you can’t afford them, find cheaper options. Google it if you have to. Having a support network is crucial and the lack of it is extremely damaging. Go online to find a community you like or try to find a job in a new country.
  23. Wore good quality accessories. If you can’t afford it, don’t wear it. Fake bags and sunglasses aren’t very glamorous. Find a style that doesn’t require expensive brands. You can buy a good quality watch for a reasonable price if you avoid high-end brands and simple earrings will go a long way. You don’t need to buy gold and diamonds to look glamorous. Find jewellery that is timeless and simple, like pearls.
  24. Avoided making racist/ sexist/ mocking jokes. Racism might have been glamorous in nazi Germany in the 1940s, but it sure as fuck isn’t glamorous anymore.πŸ˜† Nothing screams more cheap trash (regardless of your financial status, race, nationality, gender, country) than cheap jokes on others expense. Especially if you mock the most vulnerable people of the society such as refugees, minorities, handicapped, single mothers, gays etc. You can be the president of the country, CEO of a powerful company or have an elite business school degree and still look cheap AF if you make disgusting jokes. The only people it will attract is other disgusting non-glamorous people. Some super rich like to act like morons because they have so much money that they simply don’t care. However, the older they get, they start to realize nobody around them actually respected them at any point in their lives. Simply tolerated because they had to.
  25. Volunteered for different causes. Single and unemployed people have A LOT of excess time, so use it wisely. I will write a separate blog about boredom, but there’s nothing more glamorous than helping others. You can walk around with a 5000€ handbag or drive a 200 000€ car, but if you don’t help others, you are not glamorous. Selfishness in my opinion isn’t glamorous. Exploiting volunteers is trashy AF. Healthy selfishness in the other hand is glamorous AF. Don’t waste your time on people who don’t give a flying fuck about your help/ volunteering/ empathy and be glamorously selfish!! πŸ˜‚ ✈️
How to be glamorously single and unemployed. Step one, wear timeless clothes.
7. Sonia likes to wear timeless pieces of clothing, such as classic black pumps, a trench coat and fit pants. (Every item in this pic costs between 35-117€) The juvenile scooter, however, is NOT part of Sonia’s glamorous lifestyle. 😝

Maintaining Your Hot Body HOT

One of the best ways to handle your mental health is to exercise, like I mentioned in my previous post. Of course, exercising is also crucial to stay physically fit and healthy. However, exercising and expensive hobbies can be a challenge when you’re single and unemployed, so what should you do? Eat less? Starve yourself so you don’t gain weight because you can’t afford a fucking gym membership?!🀣

No need to go to unhealthy lengths. You can for example for starters find a cheap (or even free) second-hand bike online or through relatives, friends, university bulletin boards etc. Exercising outdoors is cost-efficient, healthy and you get your privacy. The amount of exercise you need is individual, but the minimum should be three times per week. Even if you exercise five times per week, it’s not guaranteed for a perfect body though. It’s especially challenging when you’re under constant financial stress, finding a full-time job and loneliness, because comfort food is just so good. In imperfect times, people tend to develop imperfect habits. Drinking, junk food, too much sugar, smoking, and too much TV. When you don’t have a regular job and someone to support you mentally (and financially), it is especially easy to fall for unhealthy habits. Stress can also make you gain weight. So if you like food as much as I do, try to balance it with regular exercise, especially when you have the time for it. 😊

Things I have done to maintain a regular exercise routine and a semi-healthy diet with my limited budget in an unsupportive country.

  1. I swear by SWEAT fitness app. Try the free trial first or do the exercises on Youtube before you purchase the app.
  2. MyFitnessPal app is free and I actually lost 7kg when I tracked everything I ate for eight months.
  3. Got a bike from a relative (old school bike without gears, so extra hard to cycle hills and stuff.πŸ˜„)
  4. Walked alone in a forest.
  5. Walked alone in a grave yard. (yeah I know my life is sad, but grave yards are good for walking because they are kind of like parks, but with zero people around. Well, alive people.πŸ˜†)
  6. Attended free yoga events. Outdoors summer yoga is amazing.
  7. Utilized free gym trials.
  8. Hunted down a gym from literally EVERYWHERE, countryside, little villages, hotels, spas, weird NYC neighbourhoods, Bulgaria, and if I didn’t find one, worked out from my hotel/ Airbnb room. Found some real random stuff too with my mini budget.The crappiest gym was probably in Malta (attended mostly by Eastern European bodybuilders). πŸ˜†πŸ’ͺ🏼
  9. Walked my landlord’s dog in Malta and NYC.
  10. Rented a cool city bike in different vacation destinations.
  11. Took a bike tour when I was travelling alone.
  12. Cycled to work instead of taking the bus.
  13. Drank sugar free drinks. Even if you eat cake, cutting down sugar from other things is still helpful.
  14. Took a dance class. (they are expensive so start by paying for one class first and if you like the class buy 10 time card etc.)
  15. Utilized a personal trainer offer at a gym.
  16. Utilized a free InBody body composition analysis at a local gym.
  17. Paid a personal trainer to make me a meal plan.
  18. Drank protein shakes/ ate protein bars/ protein rich food.
  19. Went to a zumba class instead of boring cardio like running. Some people are demotivated to exercise because it’s “boring” or too intense. So find something that makes it fun, easy to begin with and inspiring like dancing or yoga.
  20. Did pilates (when I had a gym membership). You can continue pilates at home if you can’t afford your gym membership anymore. You can check videos from YouTube.

I exercise a lot, but my body is not perfect because my diet isn’t that great. That’s the dilemma of unemployment/ single life, you have to stay fit/ healthy to find a job and a partner but then you are also under constant stress and pressure in trying to maintain your finances and sanity ALONE. Even though many long term singles are mentally much stronger than needy relationship people (who cheat/ bully singles), we are not SUPER humans either. Finding a supportive network of people is crucial for success, so try to find friends who have the same goals than you. Keeping fit is easier with people who share your goals. If you can’t find people (like in my case) then do it alone with an app. Then when the time is right, move to another country (warm weather helps you keep fit, you have limitless opportunities for outdoor exercising) and find your support network there. 🌞

Today I’m grateful for my physical health (mental not so much πŸ˜›), my two passports and my capacity to see through other people’s bullshit.

Single lonely life walking in the forest alone.
4. Who needs people when you can just walk alone in the forest for seven years. πŸ˜† Photo: Sonia Jain